Destroy All Monsters!

[Otto]

Choose your Japanese monster movie dream team! Let's say you could choose any three monsters to be on your team to fight the latest terrifying menace from outer space/dimension X/wherever it is these days that terrifying menaces to Japan come from. Who would you choose and why? You gotta pick Godzilla of course, because, well, because he's freakin' GODZILLA, but who else would you choose?

[Astroboy14]

Gotta agree with Godzilla! The other two are a bit more difficult, though... maybe Gehedra (sp?), and I've always been fond of Gamera ^{Gamera is really neat/He is full of turtle meat/ We believe in Gaameeeeeeraaaa!}.

But Mothra? I mean, WTF? A giant MOTH?? What's it going to do, moth someone to death?

[Legomancer]

Why would you not just pick all of them? After all, the way you rate a Godzilla movie is by starting at one star and then adding a star for every additional monster.

[Drastic]

You can't just go picking all of them--there's union bylaws to follow.

Godzilla is, of course, the standard unit of measure of both monster performance. Of course he's on the team.

Now, I'm going to assume that, for the purposes of repelling said menace, that previous grudges will be waived or suspended, and bygones will be bygones. This is important, because since Godzilla's the standard unit of measurement, I want two other monsters that come the closest to it, and those would be the two that have kicked the big G's ass most severely.

Sometimes that's a judgment call. I'm going to vote for the Smog Monster--Hidorah or some similar sounding name--as he pounded the snot out of the big guy, moreso than is usual. And for the third member, Destoroyah, the giant ubermonster that evolved from the use of the Oxygen Destroyer used in Tokyo Bay against the very first G event, because arguably it scored a kill (technical only--he melted from inner heat prostration) against our standard.

That'll be the core team. If supporting members are allowed, say they're allowed to show up if the latest menace to Tokyo pulls some underhanded trick, things get a little more open. Biollante would be useful with the proper strategy, being unkillable. Mechagodzilla has also put in very nice showings, but needs a lot of infrastructure to keep in the field.

And I don't like it, but if the nature of the menace requires Godzilla to be in heroic mode rather than force-of-nature mode, union bylaws will probably demand an annoyingly shrill small Japanese boy to run around and be in danger, with the usual supporting characters.

[Baker]

OK, Godzilla of course. But he IS landbound so you need something that flies. There's Rodan and Ghidrah for me. The latter even has an advantage of three heads to fire those "laser/lightning bolts" with.

[Pyrrho12]

Godzilla would be first, of course, since he's king of the monsters. In terms of firepower and sheer bad-assitude, you can't beat the Big G. My second would have to be Gamera; he's a movie headliner, like Godzilla, so that ought to count for something. He can fly, swim, breathe fire, and is said to be somewhat more intelligent than the average giant monster.

For the third monster I was initially wavering between King Ghidora and Destroyah, but then the obvious choice occured to me. Pikachu. Sure, he won't be much use in the fight, but what other monster has the financial clout to sponsor a defending-the-earth-from-hostile-aliens team? With the full commercial power of the international Pokemon empire behind us, we will be invincible!!! Maybe we can even arrange a hostile takeover before the alien invasion force has a chance to unload its monsters...

[Jophiel]

Well, first off I'm taking Hedorah (aka The Smog Monster) since he gave ole Godzilla a pretty good run for the money. Plus he had that groovy disco soundtrack going with him ("Save the Earth! Save the Earth! Join the solution, stop pollution! Save the Earth!). But mainly because he could probably whomp Godzilla in a straight-up fight. As I recall, Godzilla had to electrocute him or something and whenever they have to resort to something besides sheer ass-kicking, it's always a pretty cheesy win.

The obvious second choice would be Ghidrah. Heck, it took Godzilla, Rodan and Mothra to bring Ghidrah down. Of course, Mothra couldn't take down a VW Bug without help, but anyways... However, he's too obvious. I'm going to go with a real dark horse candidate here and whip out the awesom power of...

Angilas

Yes, Angilas. Who the hell is Angilas? He's that spikey ankylosaur looking thingie from Destroy All Monsters. Actually, he fought that Godzilla knock-off Gigantis and, according to that movie, he's about the same size and mass as Godzilla and can throw quite a ruckus. Plus, he's covered with spikes so that's a real benfit and.. umm.. ok, I'm only picking him because I knew no one else would and I felt sorry for the guy.

[tracer]

How about the super-giant-colossal-sized King Kong from King Kong vs. Godzilla? Then if we put Ghidra on the same team, he could breathe his lightning bolts at King Kong -- because as we remember from the film, "Electricity makes Kong stronger"!

[Drastic]

But mainly because he could probably whomp Godzilla in a straight-up fight. As I recall, Godzilla had to electrocute him or something and whenever they have to resort to something besides sheer ass-kicking, it's always a pretty cheesy win.

Precisely this is why the monsters involved had better be professional enough to put the past behind them. For one thing, Hedorah has reason to carry a grudge as Godzilla spent a large chunk of time tearing eggs out of its electrocuted carcass and smashing them to bits.

Hedorah's an odd case all around--the Japanese army came mighty close to taking him out without the big G's help, using two bigass electrodes. Godzilla ended up using his plasma breath to power those electrodes after the power got cut, as I recall. That was the rumble that Godzilla learned to fly using his breath as thrust, so Hedorah's inclusion seems to help the big G get good ideas he wouldn't otherwise.

Classic Ghidrah would be a good choice upon reflecting on it. The later version of King Ghidorah, however, simply doesn't make the cut in my opinion--Godzilla took him out easily enough. When he was rebuilt as MechaKing Ghidorah, they were more evenly matched, but an enormous amount depends on who's piloting the critter then.

In exact reverse is the Mothra situation--the classic model was pretty hopeless, but the newer version did pretty well against him. Of course, she would have done far worse without Battra suspending a running grudge (as I say, monster professionalism) and helping her out.

[tracer]

My vote's for Minya, a.k.a. Son of Godzilla, a.k.a. "The Little One," a.k.a. Godzooky (?).

You don't wanna get in his way when he starts blowing smoke rings!

[Monster104]

Don't hurt me! I'm too young to be destroyed!!

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

You are all Fifth Columnists and spies.

Godzilla, indeed. Phui. :wally

Oh, sure--in Godzilla:1985 , he gave his best performance ever. Critical acclaim. Patrick Stewart praising him at the MTV Awards. All that good jazz.

But, after that Hollywood 'spectacular" of his, it is obvious that Goshzilly no longer has The Rage_tm.

And without The Rage_tm he isn't any more frightening than a pile of dog doodie.

No.

The title of King of he Monsters is ripped from the scaly pretender, & given back to the True Master of The Rage_tm.

King Kong Rules!

He has The Rage_tm.

The once and future Kong.

Long Live The King.

[detop]

Originally posted by Jophiel
Actually, he fought that Godzilla knock-off Gigantis and, according to that movie, he's about the same size and mass as Godzilla and can throw quite a ruckus.

Psst, Jophiel, check this out. Go to the Movie reviews section. You will find out that Godzilla and Gigantis are one and the same (kind off).

[Gyrate]

[South Park] Bah-bu-rah! Bah-bu-rah! [/South Park]

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

My apologies, tracer.

You are a true & loyal Ape-Fan. Didn't see your post.

KONG RUUUULLLLLLEESS!!!

[Jophiel]

Bah! According to the Encyclopedia of Monsters, they're two different beasts! So there! Of course, this means we could have both Godzilla and Gigantis on a single team which hardly seems fair.

And, you know, I'm starting to like my Angilas choice. All the other monsters have fire breath, shoot silk, make gale force winds, shoot energy beams, fly around in the most inane fashion and things like that. Not my boy Angilas. He just kicks butt by kicking your butt. There's no electric power stations, liquid nitrogen, chemical stun gasses or whatever other cheesy things the other guys used in their movies to help them out on Monster Island; you gotta survive by being tough. If Angilas wasn't one toughened hombre, he'd have been traded for a pack of cigarettes his first week on the island.

[rjung]

Originally posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
Oh, sure--in Godzilla:1985 , he gave his best performance ever. Critical acclaim. Patrick Stewart praising him at the MTV Awards. All that good jazz.

But, after that Hollywood 'spectacular" of his, it is obvious that Goshzilly no longer has The Rage_tm.

Pul-eeeeeeeeeeeeeze!

You even dare to talk about The One True Godzilla_TM and that Devlin/Emerich/Sony cheapo-plastic knockoff as the same critter? BLASPHEMY! You might as well go mistake Jesus H. Christ and Buddy Christ, then.

That overgrown Sony iguana was a pathetic knock-off. The original could whomp 'em in five minutes, flat.

And The One True Godzilla_TM definitely still has The Rage_TM. Just look at Godzilla 2000 -- not only does he whup the best weapons Japanese SuperScience_TM has to offer, but he also gets revenge on Devlin and Emerich by walloping a galactic invader that's lifted straight out of the ID4 playbook.

And to address the OP: If you've got Godzilla on your side, everyone else is superfluous. But if I must pick three, then the other two would be Rhodan (for air support) and Charles Barkley (for basketball support).

[Tars Tarkas]

Gotta go with Big G, the other two would be Angilus, the spikey guy Jophiel likes, because he can be used as a mace (as seen in Godzilla vs. Gigan), and King Kong! Of course, Minya come with Godzilla as well...


Although a dream team of All the mecka-monsters would be cool, with Mecha-Godzilla, Mecha-Kong, and that Mecha-King Ghidirah cyborg would be cool, unless they had to fight in the rain and they all rusted....

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Originally posted by rjung
Pul-eeeeeeeeeeeeeze!

You even dare to talk about The One True Godzilla_TM and that Devlin/Emerich/Sony cheapo-plastic knockoff as the same critter? BLASPHEMY! You might as well go mistake Jesus H. Christ and Buddy Christ, then.

That overgrown Sony iguana was a pathetic knock-off. The original could whomp 'em in five minutes, flat.

And The One True Godzilla_TM definitely still has The Rage_TM. Just look at Godzilla 2000 -- not only does he whup the best weapons Japanese SuperScience_TM has to offer, but he also gets revenge on Devlin and Emerich by walloping a galactic invader that's lifted straight out of the ID4 playbook.[/b]

The Sony version is the original Godzilla.

Like all Hollywood has-beens, he has had more plastic surgery than all the girls in the Playboy Mansion put together.

BTB--wouldn't Barkley also count as air support?

[tracer]

Tars Tarkas wrote:

Although a dream team of All the mecka-monsters would be cool, with Mecha-Godzilla, Mecha-Kong, and that Mecha-King Ghidirah cyborg would be cool, unless they had to fight in the rain and they all rusted....

If you're going to include mecha-monsters, you've also gotta include:

• Jet Jaguar from Godzilla vs. Megalon. He can grow and shrink, and emit harmless blue light out of his eyes. And:
• Giant Robot from Voyage Into Space. He can fire missiles out of his fingertips and looks like the Sphinx from the neck up. Plus, on Johnny Sako and his Flying Robot, he also gained the ability to fire lasers from his eyes and breathe fire.

I do not include Ultraman/Ultra-7 on this list, because he wasn't really mechanical. (Although he looked like it.)

I also do not include the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Zords, because they have human pilots inside them. Plus, they make me wanna puke.

[Tars Tarkas]

And don't forget that robot from Godzilla vs. Space Godzilla, i think it was Mogurea or something similar.

Plus, not only does Jet Jaguar grow, but he programs himself to grow!

[Gyrate]

Originally posted by tracer [*]Giant Robot from Voyage Into Space. He can fire missiles out of his fingertips and looks like the Sphinx from the neck up. Plus, on Johnny Sako and his Flying Robot, he also gained the ability to fire lasers from his eyes and breathe fire.

Oooh -- I forgot about this. "Use robot punch!"

I also do not include the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers Zords, because they have human pilots inside them. Plus, they make me wanna puke. [/b]

I suppose that also leaves out Pokemon as well, despite the fact that they're Japanese, monsters ("Pokemon" being "pocket monsters"), and have appeared in films. Otherwise, I'd pick Togepi -- it's cute, it's portable, and it can blow the living shit out of just about anything.

Barring cartoon monsters, I'd go for Gamera. No reason, really, I just think a giant killer turtle is kind of cool.

[tracer]

Gamera isn't a "killer" turtle! He is friend to all children!

It says so, right here....

[tracer]

Darn it, when are they going to release Son of Godzilla and Godzilla 1985 on DVD?!

[Fiver]

How about Barbra Streisand vs. [/b]Jerry Lewis[/b]?

[rjung]

Originally posted by Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor
The Sony version is the original Godzilla.

Now who's the fifth columnist and spy?

Buddy Christ in a flaming canoe, not only did Toho reject the Sony wannabe as their One True Godzilla, but so did all the Godzilla fans in Japan. When an entire country full of Godzilla fans (do you know they sell Godzilla-brand canned meat there?) say that Devlin and Emerich's overgrown iguana is a poser and a fake, I'm not one to argue with 'em.

BTB--wouldn't Barkley also count as air support?

Yeah, but he hasn't got the hang time that Rhodan has. To be fair, Rhodan's absolutely crappy outside the free-throw line.