There can only be one...Doper

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I wonder what it would be like if this board were run Highlander Style. Where, we all have the power to kill off whomever we want to, but they have the same opportunity to for us. And if we sucessfully kill them, we get their post count added to ours, making us harder to kill.

There would be honor codes to abide by, and hanging out in ATMB could be like the sanctuary. Clans would form to protect one another, but soon we would turn on our own to defeat a powerful enemy.

There can only be one.

Oh my god, I’m going to bed now. I swear.

2

spooje sharpens his sword…

3

Screw a sword. I’m retrofitting your monitor with a power saw attachment!

BZZZZZZZ!

4

Darn. Just when all I have to hand is an extra sharp nail file.

5

Oh, please, there’re only about a half-dozen people with a post count higher than mine, and they’re all old and decrepit people who need to wear undergarments, lest they soil themselves.

The lot of you are no match for me. Surrender now, and I will allow you to engage in a drunken orgy for a thousand years and a day.

6

So handy winds up being the only surviving Doper?

7

I defy the lot of you!

Let me assure you that I have studied the martial art Tae-Kwon-Do. I have attained the level of: YELLOW belt!

*Do not taunt Astroboy!

*Do not make me show you how I block kicks to the crotch.

*Do not make me show you how I deflect punches to the head.

I rule!:cool:

(I had sworn to myself NOT to lord my mastery of the martial arts over all of you, but you force my hand! Deal with the consequences, fools!)

:smiley:

8

Aw, hell, going by post count, I’ll be one of the first to get the ultimate haircut. Here’s my sword*, SPOOFE.

::Tygr doffs his armor, puts on a silk smoking jacket and wanders off toward the hot tub.::

*[sup]No, that’s not plastic, it’s, um, a special material mined from…uh, the planet Zeiss![/sup]

9

shouldn’t we be watching for Maeglin and the others who, like, FENCE and own swords?

10

Nah! Bunch of pansies…

C’mon! FENCING???

11

Yeah, I mean, I’ve got a fence around my yard, but does that make me tough? No! It doesn’t even keep the squirrels out of my birdfeeder, dirty little buggers!

Fencing? Pshaw!

And, as an appropriate addition from Mr. Lewis Carroll:

I sure could use a vorpal blade.

12

Not when they do saber, AB - that boy has ordnance that can chop your head off. All fencing isn’t foil.

13

All those candy-ass swords are all well and good but naked steel ain’t gonna protect you from a .45 slug travelling at a god-awful speed children. Even the immortals were hurt by bullets.

I always wondered…why not just hit the Kurgan with a bazooka and cut off his head while he was healing?

And hey! Tygr mentioned Zeiss! Don’t we have some sort of SDMB punishment for that?

14

OK, this is all fun and games, but I should make a disclaimer here before we go much further: there will be no fighting with drug induced blasphemous kids! Put down the speed, and pick up a weapon.

15

Jeez, leave out a comma and the wiseacres come out to play.

OK, here’s my self-justifying logic:

  1. Weapons kill
  2. Speed kills
  3. Therefore speed is a weapon

Now pop this pill and DIE!!!

16

Any weapon? Great, I choose this.

40mm of doom, coming your way.

17

My weapon?

I take the Way Of Empty Hand (With Concealed Dagger).

Bring it on, FOO’!

18

Thanks for the support, lurker. These silly people must all be thinking of sport fencing. That’s about as useful in real combat as Tae Kwon Do.

The fact that they think fencing is harmless will only increase my pleasue. The look of surprise on their faces when I kill them one after one is the ambrosia of my soul.