FUCK YOU GOD!!!!!!!

[LittleTigger]

YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE POMPOUS FUCKWAD!!!!!!

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST
FUCK ME AROUND!!!

I DID NOT WANT TO BE BROUGHT INTO THIS
MISERABLE FUCKING LIFE AND YOU
FUCKED ME OUT OF HAPPINESS I WOULLD
HAVE ENJOYED!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!!

I HATE YOU FOR WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME
YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER!!!!!!!

YOU GODDAMN POMPOUS DEGENERATE FUCKING
BUTTFUCKING SON OF A BITCH!!!!!

JUST BRING ME IN TO THIS FUCKED UP
MEAN WORLD WHERE NO ONE FUCKING LIKES
ME BECAUSE I AM A GODDAMN FUCKING
CRIPPLE THAT YOU MADE YOU FYUCKING
ASSHOLEDICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK!!!!!!1

I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU I HATE YOU!!!!!!

I WISH YOU WOULD GET IT RIGHT YOU WORTHLESS
POMPOUS ASSLICK!!!

YOU CRIPPLED ME YOU BUTTFUCKING DIRTY
LYING EVIL FUCK!!!!

SCREW YUOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR!!!

STICK YUOUR FUCKING CROSS UP YOUR ASS
AND FUCK I8T YOU SHIT FACED BUTTFYUCKING
SONOFABITCHING POMPOUS DICKFUCKED
BUTTFACE AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT
ANY OF YOU FUCKS ON THIS BOARD EITHER
I ON;LY CARE ABVOT MY SELF SO FUCK YOU
ALL!!!!!!

FLAME ALL YOU WANT I DON'T GIAVE A
FUCK SO FUCK YOU AL;L IN YOUR FUCKING
ASSES WITH A FUCKSTICK!!!!!!


FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

[imthjckaz]

Other than this rant, everything's ok, right?

[mouthbreather]

Here, bucko, have a lollipop. That always cheers me right up when I am feeling blue.

[Eutychus]

Someone needs a hug.

[Ashtar]

Yea.

And God also kills priests every day and lets starving children die.

What's your point?

As soon as you give up the will to meet life head on, you become nothing but a sad, pathetic loser.

[Slip Mahoney]

Far be it for me to defend God, but how does He fit into this equation?

Next you'll be blaming him for fixing football games.

[Slip Mahoney]

AND STOP SHOUTING!!!!

[mighty_maxx]

Thank you, you just helped make up my mind on whether I would pay to post.

[Weirddave]

Nice. Blame the invisible pink unicorn. Real productive. How 'bout a clue as to what you're mad about?

[Freyr]

And now, in the category; Most Inane Use of the Word FUCK in a Single Posting!

And the Dopie goes to........

LittleTigger

[ultress]

Troll

[Astroboy14]

er... ummm...

OK...

Did you have a point?

What were you talking about?

[Enderw24]

I don't think he's a troll. Unless he's carrying on the wheelchair issue through several threads, which, IMO, seems unlikely. But I think his anger is just a *tad* misplaced.

[Ayesha]

In just what way are you crippled LittleOne ? In this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...threadid=97293 you talk about falling off your bike, in this thread http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...threadid=97270 you say Yes, not that I can help it, I'm handicapped from a heatstroke, and incontinent.
You are able to read and to type.

So it's not like you were born without the use of your body.
Lot's of people have problems far worse than what yours seem to be. There are people who were born without sight, with no hearing. There are those born without limbs or who have lost them due to accidents or disease. So start working on a personality that makes you pleasant to be around and you will make friends.

Writting yelling messages on the board at God and adding "AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF YOU FUCKS ON THIS BOARD EITHER I ON;LY CARE ABVOT MY SELF SO FUCK YOU ALL!!!!!! isn't going to impress anyone.

[Edited by Eutychus55 on 11-10-2001 at 03:16 PM]

[hardygrrl]

For Pete's sake, load up the Thorazine darts and fire at will.

[Ayesha]

If some kind loving mod or even a nasty bitchy one could add the [/url] to the first thread I tried to link I will owe that mod a huge favor. Thank you.

[alice_in_wonderland]

So, um, leaving God and fucking out of it for a moment, you mentioned some health promlems. Why don't you say a bit more about that?

Honestly, this is quite a compassionate bunch of people if you give them the chance, but I think most of us don't quite get your meaning in the OP.

[eunoia]

No shit, the new Slayer CD rocks!

[GingerOfTheNorth]

Originally posted by Freyr
And now, in the category; Most Inane Use of the Word FUCK in a Single Posting!

And the Dopie goes to........

LittleTigger

Dopie? I thought we were gonna call 'em Wallys?

[Eutychus]

Originally posted by Ayesha
If some kind loving mod or even a nasty bitchy one could add the [/url] to the first thread I tried to link I will owe that mod a huge favor.

Of my own choice?

[Ayesha]

Of course of your choice Euty darling ! ::insert sexy flirting smilie here::

[Kantalooppi]

And now, important statistics:

Number of words in the post: 198
Number of swearwords in the post: 37
Percentage of swearwords in the post: 18.7
Number of misspelled words: 10
Percentage of misspelled words: 5.05
Number of exclamation marks: 101
Chance of God doing something as per this post (for atheists): 0
Chance of God doing something as per this post (for Christians): 0.037
On 1-10 scale, how 3l33t replacing ! with a 1 makes this look like: 8.7
On 1-10 scale, the intelligence of swearwords: 1.3 ('Poopfuck', while primitive, still has some primal beauty in it)
Number of posters which will, as result of this post, begin to think that hey, that subscription thing might not be so bad after all: 3

[JonScribe]

Tiggers are wonderful things.

[JonScribe]

Sure to take its place among the classics in children's literature, be sure to read, "Are you there, God? It's me, Little Tigger; Fuck You."

Heartwarming, really. Can we get Shel Silverstein to illustrate?

[tracer]

Can we get Shel Silverstein to illustrate?

Only if there really is an afterlife.

[hardygrrl]

Originally posted by JonScribe
[b]Sure to take its place among the classics in children's literature, be sure to read, "Are you there, God? It's me, Little Tigger; Fuck You."

Hopefully it's nothing like "Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret."

Hothing more disturbing that visualizing a Tigger sprouting breasts and learning that they are becoming a woman.

[Freyr]

GingerOfTheNorth wrote:

Dopie? I thought we were gonna call 'em Wallys?

My bad! My bad! I must have missed that memo going around.

[SpaceGhostofArrakis]

You, know, years from now, when you're lying on your deathbed, you and the priest are going to just laugh and laugh about this...

[capacitor]

It could be Lolo at it again.

[LoverBoy]

0.1. You get the .1 because the line "ASSHOLEDICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK!!!!!!1" made me laugh.

I thought you were leaving the boards? Hurry it up.

- Rob

[AwSnappity]

Originally posted by LittleTigger
JUST BRING ME IN TO THIS FUCKED UP
MEAN WORLD WHERE NO ONE FUCKING LIKES
ME BECAUSE I AM A GODDAMN FUCKING
CRIPPLE THAT YOU MADE YOU FYUCKING
ASSHOLEDICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK!!!!!!1

If people really don't like you for the only reason that you're crippled, those people aren't worth your time. I mean that. Forget those assholes and think about how you're blessed to be alive and to be able to form rational thoughts. At least you're not six feet under. At least you're not a vegetable.

_{Wouldn't it be weird if LittleTigger really was a vegetable and he was using astral projection to post this? Oh my God, someone call Scully and Doggett!}

[Angel of the Lord]

Aw...poor widdle Tigger...does someone have anger management issues?

Seriously, though...I gather you've gotten a raw deal. However, being neither God nor psychic, I don't know what it is. I'm betting that most of the people on this board don't, either.

So expand. Vent about your difficulties. Let it all hang out. Your resident archangel and others are waiting

But please, please tell us what you're talking about.

[JonScribe]

There's just a certain alliteration to it:

ASSHOLE DICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK

Almost sounds like a law firm.

[Gomez]

Originally posted by Little Tigger in the SOCIETY!!! thread

I love cats. Ya hear that? I LOVE MY KITTYPUSS!!!
And I'm dang proud of it too. He is my best little fuzzy
frend for when I'm alone and have no one to play with,
for when I'm alone and sad, or for when I want to
play.

Originally posted by Little Tigger in this thread

STICK YUOUR FUCKING CROSS UP YOUR ASS
AND FUCK I8T YOU SHIT FACED BUTTFYUCKING
SONOFABITCHING POMPOUS DICKFUCKED
BUTTFACE AND I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT
ANY OF YOU FUCKS ON THIS BOARD EITHER
I ON;LY CARE ABVOT MY SELF SO FUCK YOU
ALL!!!!!!

Damn...what a difference a day makes.

[mouthbreather]

Maybe his cat stopped being his "best little fuzzy frend"?

I can see how that might result in the OP in this thread.

[Enderw24]

LittleTigger, here it is, short and sweet.

You're on a computer. No one here can tell if you are in a wheelchair or not.
If you are, that's OK with us. We'll accept you just the same. Try to learn how to type a basic English sentence and run your posts through a spellchecker and we'll mostly be happy campers. You can be accepted here, "disability" or no. Or you can reject a community that won't judge you by how you look.

But if you're not in a wheelchair and you're faking it for your posts, then fuck you. Goodbye. Go away.

JonScribe that made me laugh.

[Fenris]

LittleTigger, This is GOD, posting through Fenris's computer. I have a brief message for you:

All that cursing makes Baby Me cry.

God

[Cartooniverse]

Originally posted by GingerOfTheNorth
Dopie? I thought we were gonna call 'em Wallys?

I have contact with the firm that casts both the Emmy[sym]ä[/sym] award and the Telly[sym]ä[/sym] awards, as well as many other fine award statuettes.

Perhaps we can open a separate thread, in which we all make suggestions at to the form the Wally Award should take.

I'd be glad to take a shot at making the original, then we can simply have castings pulled, and gold plated. Every year at the annual awards banquet, Cecil Adams can stand up and deliver the awards to the honorees. Then we can have a great meal and dessert, especially if they have those neato sundae bars like they have sometimes at weddings and Bar Mitzvahs !!!!

Um. I think I need to lay down.

Cartooniverse

[iampunha]

LittleTigger, I sympathize. I really do.

Those tears in my eyes aren't from laughing, honest. The people around me aren't wondering what in the flying fuck's so funny that I'm reading. They're wondering why I'm bawling my eyes out over someone I don't know.




Oh Dear Lord. I'm sorry. That rant is so goddamn funny.

"ASSHOLEDICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK!!!!!!" is mostly what did it for me.

I don't mean to mock your position, I truly don't. It's the style, the delivery, the . . . way it looks. It's fucking funny.

And yeah, fuck anyone who makes fun of you.

_{I'm sorry I'm such a bastard . . . I don't mean to be}

[Lockfist]

eunoia, I think our annoying LittleTigger is probably referring to this passage of the GHUA gospel:

We hold these truths to be painfully self-evident
All men are not created equal
Only the strong will prosper
Only the strong will conquer
Only in the darkness of Christ have I realized
God Hates Us All

[AwSnappity]

Originally posted by iampunha
Oh Dear Lord. I'm sorry. That rant is so goddamn funny.

"ASSHOLEDICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK!!!!!!" is mostly what did it for me.

I don't mean to mock your position, I truly don't. It's the style, the delivery, the . . . way it looks. It's fucking funny.

There is a time and a place for everything, iampunha. I can't believe you're being so anal as to mock his caps lock and the many exclamation points. It doesn't make his post any "funnier". If you're going to make fun of the way someone constructs a rant, don't cry foul when others do, too.

[tiggeril]

Originally posted by hardygrrl

Nothing more disturbing that visualizing a Tigger sprouting breasts and learning that they are becoming a woman.

Is there some kind of PROBLEM with that?? HUH??


Bitch.


--tigg, who is doubled over not with laughter, but with cramps

[tiggeril]

Sweetie? I'm assuming there's a brain back there somewhere. Might I suggest flipping it on before monkey-slapping your keyboard? Some of us have little sympathy for those who are more willing to curse a nonexistent God than to try to overcome their problems.

[MoodIndigo1]

Originally posted by JonScribe
There's just a certain alliteration to it:

ASSHOLE DICKFART DICKWAD POOPFUCK

Almost sounds like a law firm.

You guys are right: that is definitely the high point of the rant, definitely a keeper. On the other hand, since the OP didn't tell us in which way exactly he is handicapped (I guess if he can ride a bike, fall off it, skin some limbs, we can at least be reassured on that front: he is not a cul-de-jatte*, though he may well have fallen on some more vital part of his anatomy.)
By the way, there are people in this world who suffer from severe handicaps and yet are happy. I hope the OP manages to chill enough so that at least his cat will still like him.
If you are faking the disabled bit, may you be eviscerated with a wooden spoon, the contents stewed slowly with your words, and the resulting mess shoved down your throat.

*cul-de-jatte, French for legless person-- it means the bottom of a jug, not the epitome of PC, but this is the Pit, right?

[filthy]

Hey Li'l Tigger,

I enjoyed hell out of that, even though it was a shade on the futile side (unless you believe in a deity. Then, it was beautifully foul).

Now look, bro, I too am disabled, although ambulatory in a limited sort of way. If this is your disability shouting, you need to re-evaluate your situation. Life is a crapshoot and you've got to accept the numbers that come up. I have. But that doesn't mean you can't figure out an effective way to load the dice. I have. I still proform a useful function in society. I, with a couple of partners, go into the schools and libraries, and give conservation presentations complete with venomous snakes to display.

So sit back and ask yourself: What do I have that someone else might want? If the answer comes up 'fuckin' nothing,' then get off'n yer ass (figuritivly) and FIND something.

Wishing luck,

f

[hardygrrl]

Originally posted by tiggeril

Is there some kind of PROBLEM with that?? HUH??


Bitch.


--tigg, who is doubled over not with laughter, but with cramps

::gives tigg some Midol, a hot water bottle and a kitten::

[Silver Fire]

Jesus loves me, this I know.
For the Bible tells me so.
Little ones to him belong.
They are weak, but he is strong.

<This is your part, LittleTigger>

Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! Yes, Jesus loves me! The Bible tells me so!!