Technically speaking I think I only have two pairs of shoes… but I have FOUR pairs of boots!
ducks the flying shoes and runs off stage
ROTFLMAO!!!
That is the funniest, wittiest, cleverest thing I have read on these boards (or anywhere) in ages!!! Ba-rilliant!
Aodoi, this is a question we women have been asking for decades. I have never found an answer that I find satisfactory. Women’s clothing not only comes in one-number sizes, it also comes with built-in criticism. Junior, Misses and Women’s really mean “no boobs or hips”, “post-childbirth and sagging” and “call Omar”, respectively.
I think the correct answer was supplied by KellyM. Though you’d think with all the time men spend looking at women’s bodies, they’d have a clue as to their shape differences.
woolly, you’re on track here… look at that Y chromosome. See how it goes straight up and then makes a fork at the top? Now look at the X chromosome. See how it is shaped? Now I am going to type it upside down: X. Can you tell which way is up on that? I think you know where this is going.
Besides, none of this would be a problem if cartographers would print the street names to GO ALONG THE STREETS, instead of labeling them with those goofy-ass grid things. Sector B6, indeed. :rolleyes:
Dear Not a Guy (LifeonWry),
I’ve never heard of this. What things? Phone numbers? Their house keys? Naked pictures of them?
If I may answer for LifeOn Wry:
It’s usually things like food and general Stuff They Bought But Don’t Want To Carry Around. My dad has used my mom’s purse to smuggle food into movie theaters, for example.
My solution: either no purse or a really tiny one.
And jeez, if only I could get phone numbers and house keys and nudie pics that way…
Err, yes. Exactly so. Guess I should have clarified and said “when my husband puts things in my purse” – but every boyfriend I ever had was the same way. Before a night out is over, I have my husband’s keys, wallets, lighter, cigars, medication, and whatever else he picks up in the course of an outing, in my purse.
No, random fellas are not putting things in my bag. More’s the pity.
(PS: Shibb, Guano and Taps – )
Why the useless handtowel & soap in the bathroom?
Lace is not absorbant.
Stitched words scratch hell outta faces.
I’m not suppossed to smell like a flower.
All I want to do is pee and clean up butt now my hands smell like lilac and some goofy embroidered poem is lacerated into my cheek. It’s anything but a “restroom.”
Vagina?
Yeesh… Leave the computer for 2 minutes and my little brother… I have to go beat the snot outta him.
Sorry about that last post!
I sympathize, Chekmate. I’m surprised my brother survived his childhood, considering all the times I was going to kill him.
Wry, love the “georgia”. In our house she’s known (yes, she has her own identity and gender) as “Miss Kitty”. Prior to meeting spouse, however, I had no name for it/her since I never referred to it/her in conversation (except with my doctor – and cutsie names don’t go over well in medical exams.)
The toilet seat up/down is a problem in our house, with spouse always asking me why I leave it down instead of up, which is convenient for him. Response: Because when I get up in the middle of the night, I do NOT want my ass falling into that icy cold water! (Even with the light on, I’m not functioning well right after waking up.)
The best thing, for me, about being a woman is being able to “snuggle”. Just curl up with my sweetie without immediately thinking “Oh, boy! Let’s get lucky!”
Incidentally, WHY do men equate physical contact OF ANY KIND with sex? If I even pat spouse on the back as I walk by, he thinks its an invitation.
Men are such funny creatures.
I humbly submit that beauty IS a use. Those pretty towels and sweetly-scented soaps add an element of beauty to a room which is strictly utilitarian. And you’re not supposed to use them. The towels under the sink and the soap in the liquid soap dispenser are there for your use. A clean and coordinated bathroom is indicative of house pride and should be encouraged.
I’m a guy. I have, on many occasions, used the toilet with the seat up and with the seat down. I have never sat down with the seat up or peed with the seat down. It’s really easy to avoid screwing up; you just check the location of the seat and move it if you have to. If there’s enough light in the room, look. If there isn’t, or you’re blind, feel. I understand that sitting down with the seat up can be crummy, but so can walking out into the street and getting hit by a car. They both have similar solutions.
Is there, in fact, anything better than multiple orgasms?
Goddamn thats funny…[sub]I should seek professional help[/sub]
And of course a woman has never chosen to go purseless while wearing a pocketless outfit. Granted this is probably more common with college age chicks, but still…you hardly have the market cornered on this little foible.
[sub]Did I just use the word foible?[/sub]
Is there, in fact, anything better than multiple orgasms?
Is this a rhetorical question?
jmonster said:
<snip>It’s really easy to avoid screwing up; you just check the location of the seat and move it if you have to. If there’s enough light in the room, look. If there isn’t, or you’re blind, feel. <snip>
And this is PRECISELY why fellas have no excuse for not putting the toilet seat DOWN when they are finished making a tinkle.
Oh yeah, Life on Wry, I LOVE the “Georgia” bit. Very witty, indeed. 
Great thread, BTW.
FEEL? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. You might stick your hand in the water, or worse yet, on the rim complete with little yellow puddles left by some guy with only average aim.
Put the seat down, or die. No other options.
So my husband says to me tonight, he says, “How are things in Georgia?”
I reply: “Just peachy.”
(rimshot)