I’ve been pondering this seemingly sexist expectation for years. First, let’s omit the situation where it’s a male guest in a house where only females live. I can kind of perceive there being a reason if the females are accustomed to it being down and don’t check. So what’s the point if, say, it’s a married couple? Nobody has ever lifted a toilet seat for me, nor do I complain if I have to lower it to take a dump. I can only think of a few unlikely reasons. One, it’s too strenuous. Obviously this isn’t the case, as a two-year-old probably has the strength to lower a toilet seat. Two, it’s too much work. I refuse to believe there’s anyone out there who is lazier than I am, and I have no problem flipping the seat either direction before relieving myself, so I don’t believe that’s the case. I had at least one more reason to rebut, but I forgot what it was. So tell me why the male is supposed to do all the toilet seat repositioning.
Oh oh, I know this one. I’ve asked my wife this a bunch of times. The answer is, “because I said so, just do it and stop being a dick.”
Because he put it up in the first place?
After much experience with this issue as well, I agree. It makes life much easier. Just get into the habit now. Being lazy, you can see that it will save you much more time down the road by doing it.
In my house, it was because we asked nicely and the guys were nice back. Love can make you do the craziest things!
I don’t feel it has anything to do with laziness, maybe something of a Freudian power trip over someone else concerning bathroom use. If you have little control in your life, maybe it makes you feel whole to demand the seat be down in the bathroom. When really, it makes no difference in the grand scheme of things, except when it comes to pets? I dunno, I leave down because it looks better.
It’s only polite, and it help create a psychological barrier between the icky toilet water and the rest of the world.
I made a deal with my husband, who grew up in an all-male household since he was 12 years old: We both have to put the seat down when we’re done. He puts down both the seat and the cover, I put down the cover. I don’t have less because I deserve it, it’s just because I don’t need the bottom seat. The lid is always closed, so we both have to lift to use it, close to finish. It’s not that hard.
It took some gentle cajoling and asking nicely, but he did get it. He doesn’t go unrewarded (sex is never withheld, I’m talking about work lunches I make for him, etc).
I know we live in a generation of “me me me” and tallying who does what for who, but sometimes when people ask you nicely to do something that’s really not that big of a deal, it’s awfully rude to just huff and sulk over the little things. Especially when one supposedly cares for the requestor. In marriage, altruism goes a long way. Don’t do things expecting to be rewarded, do them because you care about the person. The may never be an immediate payoff, but the long term will pay for itself. Toilet seats may be a very simple thing, but at least when you’ve put it down, it says, “See? I care about you and don’t want you to fall in in the middle of the night. I am a gentleman, aren’t you lucky?” Instead of leaving it up nd it being a gaping, porceline moth that says, “Whatever. A woman lives here? Who cares? What have you done for me lately?”
Please excuse the letters “a” and “u” from my last sentence, as they were sick today with the flu. I understand the importance of them being used in the construction of the words “and” and “mouth”, and that instead you ended up with “nd” and “moth”. My sincerest apologies, but doctor’s orders, you see.
I’m too lazy to lift the seat in the first place. I have learned how to aim well enough for this luxury.
The classic toilet seat up or down argument means enough to some people that it almost should be in GD 
I’ve heard the argument about the falling into the water in the dark. Don’t women turn on the light? We need to, in order to aim, but are there a lot of women out there peeing in the dark?
Wouldn’t it be equal if he had to lift the seat and you had to put it down?
Why must you women over complicate things? :rolleyes:
I don’t pee in the dark, however, I do get up to pee in the middle of the night. Light goes on. This one applies to me, personally, though, because I wear contact lenses in the daytime. I can’t see a foot in front of my face without them. If my glasses are nearby, I will fumble them on, however, they still don’t focus (for me) for quite a long while. So, half asleep, stumbling into the bathroom in the middle of the night, I can’t see a damn thing. I can see vague shapes. I can usually tell that the lid is up, but I won’t know if the seat is down or not. I’ve fallen in in the past because I was still half asleep and didn’t see/wasn’t thinking straight.
I give my husband leeway, he still forgets once in a while. Hell, he might have gone to the bathroom in the middle of the night and simply forgot to put it back down. No big deal. But normally, we both put the seat down. It makes things look tidier, too. One of my “jobs” around here is to keep the house neat and tidy and pleasing to look at. It’s the least my husband can do to put the damn seat down. Seriously, he’s a big boy and can put the seat down behind him. It’s not complicated and it at least shows me he cares enough about what I do around here to respect my minor, tidy wishes.
Give a little, get a little.
As long as my husband and I both find it fair (to use, I must lift, he must lift. Then, I must close, and he must close. Big deal.), that’s what works for us.
This is IMHO, so I gave my opinion. It only applies to my situation. Obviously, you can continue doing whatever works for you. Don’t paint “you women” with such a wide brush, because I’m just me.
I’m a fluid person. My opinion can and does change. If my husband came to me with a genuine reason why he should never lower that lid when he finishes, I’ll let it be. It’s just a toilet seat. I’m hardly a demanding person. I asked if he would lower the seat, he complied, deeming it reasonable. I asked him again when he stopped and he found it a reasonable enough request. When I say “gentle cajoling”, stress the word “gentle”. I do the same thing for him when he asks me to do something that might make life a tiny bit easier for him, but may do nothing for me, or require a little extra work. Sometimes he has to gently cajole me, too. I’m human. I forget. So does he. Neither of us keeps count of who did what for who; we just do it because we care about each other. I know, that’s pretty complicated.
OK, hadn’t thought about that. Guys can’t aim without being able to see where the hole is (unless there are men doing that blind :eek: ).
Sure we can. You just feel where the toilet is with your knees, and aim a little in front of that.
The notion that there is some sort of collective obligation on men towards women to put the seat down is of course ridiculous. If one member of a household has a preference, and cares sufficiently about that preference to voice it, it is reasonable for other members of the household to comply (unless they have equally strong preferences to the contrary). But the sex of any individual involved is completely irrelevant.
Myself, I prefer the lid to be down, and anyone who leaves it up is a filthy beast, regardless of the position of the seat.
This woman pees in the dark - if I’m properly seated I don’t need to aim. In fact, my anatomy is such that I can’t aim. I don’t usually turn the light on because I don’t need it and might disturb the person in the next room.
The husband started leaving the seat down, at least at night, after the second surprised scream of outrage from me falling in. Seems that disturbed him more than the light flicking on, for some reason.
Actually, I prefer to have the seat AND the lid down except when it’s in use. The husband prefers not to have to worry about post-use seat repositioning. We compromise with lid up and seat down (usually - after 16 years you learn your mate has lapses and you learn to double check before proceeding.)
Actually, when I’m visiting the gentleman in my life, if I need to use the bathroom and the seat’s up when I go in, I try to remember to put it up when I finish. I can’t see the logic in demanding he put the seat down.
On the other hand, I don’t necessarily check to see if the seat’s up, especially if it’s in my own home. Unless the gentleman or other male friends have been visiting, there’s no reason to assume it would be up.
CJ
I suppose it depends what your living situation is, or how you were brought up.
My situation is roughly the same as **Broomstick’s.**The guys try to put the seat back down, sometimes the cover as well. They don’t always remember, but they try. Plus we have slobbery dogs and I’d rather they drink out of their dishes than the toilet.
I grew up with two brothers and now have two sons so have always lived in a male-dominated household, but my mom and dad must have had some kind of an agreement, ditto my husband’s family.
It seems like every other night I have to go to the bathroom at god-knows-what-hour, and it sure is nice to not sit on cold porcelain–let alone fall in.
Anastaeseon I loved your post #8. 
Bingo! Problem solved. This is the arrangement my wife and I have.
I’d think the reason for the demand (or courtesy) is that if the seat is up, there’s a higher potential for direct skin-to-nastiness contact when women go to sit and possibly forget to put it down. With the seat down, a guy will generally still hit the target. Unless there’s a known state that one gets used to (i.e., the seat and cover are always closed), the chance of forgetting to check in a middle-of-the-night, groggy stumble for relief is higher for women.