A discussion about toilet seat positioning

I often hear women complaining that men leave the toilet seat up. I can come up with just three possible reasons women might find this practice objectionable:

  1. They feel it is wrong because they may accidentally sit on porcelain rather than the seat.

  2. They feel is it wrong because the man is being inconsiderate and not ‘preparing’ the throne for the next user.

  3. They feel it is wrong because it is less sanitary or proper (putting the lid down ‘closes’ the appliance and this should be its default when not in use).

Is there another possibility I am missing? If not, allow me to rebut:

  1. Are you (female) claiming that you actually sit on the toilet without first checking the seat position? And you have actually ‘fallen in’? If not, this argument is moo*.

  2. What if the next user is male? Is it not a courtesy to him to leave the seat up? And for that matter, are you (female) ever extending this courtesy to males? That is, do you ever place the seat in the up position after use? I didn’t thinks so. Moo point.

  3. This is, to me, the only reasoning that (ahem) holds some water. I also believe the seat and lid should be closed when not in use. However, the complaints I hear are always about the seat being left raised, never the lid. Another moo point.

I await comments.
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*cow’s opinion.

(Female here). I don’t care about the seat being up, since I’m going to check it before I sit down, and as you said, it’s silly to “prepare” for the next user when you don’t know who it will be.

Unfortunately, my husband’s ex-wife trained him to always put the seat down and close the lid. I can’t tell you how many times during our marriage that I’ve run to the bathroom with a hand clapped over my mouth, vomit filling up my sinuses and spraying out between my fingers, to find the damn lid down. At that point there’s no bending over to open it without dire fucking consequences.

I curse that lady’s name while I mop up the bathroom.

When I got remarried I wondered if my wife would care about it. It turns out that she was more concerned about dribbles not being cleaned.

Male here. I always assumed that the “put the lid down” thing was nothing more than an excuse for women to bitch about their husbands. As noted who the hell goes to use the john and doesn’t check that the seat is in the necessary position?! Having said that…

I do this, and have for years. As our Exalted and Perfect Master noted, flushing the loo with the lid up creates a fine spray of shit and piss particles that has a tendency to drift around the bathroom. Not something I particularly want to encourage. Closing the lid seems a simple common courtesy. For imminent emesis the wastebasket can be utilized.

We close the lid in our house. That way, no worries about the household critters playing in the water, nor worries about things that shouldn’t be in the bowl falling in. Personally, I think a toilet with the lid up looks tacky. Almost as tacky as a lid with a furry cover, but that’s another thread.

I close the lid after use.
That’s why the lid is there, right?

That said, we each have our own bathroom. I would be sad if we had to share.

The lid is there to put down when you need something to sit on. Otherwise, it’s just an extra thing that needs lifting when nature calls.

Well, that and the poop mist thing.

Really? I have chairs, beds, a couch, a futon, etc located throughout the house. Have a seat on any of those, the toilet is pretty much reserved for elimination.

We put the lid down because the spray while flushing is gross. Isn’t that why it’s there? Mr. Helena came pretty well-trained, but one guy I dated didn’t. He left the seat up, and one night when I woke up and had to pee, I didn’t notice as I stumbled in. He never, ever did that again, to me and I suspect not to the women who came after me.

It’s a toilet.

NOT a urinal.

If you want a urinal, install one.

Otherwise, put the seat back down. No one wants to see the toilet bowl, proudly on display, upon entering the bathroom.

It’s just that simple.

The toilet-seat-as-chair is used when conversing with spouse as she does her makeup or he shaves, or to obtain privacy away from kids. Given your separate bathrooms and (I think) lack of kids at home, I can understand why chairs, couches, etc. are preferred.

The way I see it, everyone knows what seat-state they’ll be needing for the bodily functions they themselves are performing. Nobody knows what seat-state the next user will need. Therefore, the technique which minimizes unnecessary movements of the seat is for every user to position it appropriately for their own needs, and then leave it in whatever position that is, because the next user might need it in that same position.

The procedure of always closing the lid is also defensible, as, although it involves more work, does have articulable advantages of its own.

But always leaving the seat down, but the lid up? Whyever for?

When my wife moved in with me, I jokingly said that I wouldn’t complain when she left the seat down so she couldn’t complain when I left the seat up. Neither of us have ever complained about it nor have I ever paid enough attention to see what position it is left in more often. Fast forward a few years when we adopted a labrador, who thought the toilette was an alternative water bowl. Now, the seat and lid are down when not in use.

My reply is “OK, I’ll make a deal with you. I will leave the seat down for you, if you will leave it up for me. And if the seat is down, I’ll leave it down and pee on it, since I am incapable of putting it in the right position myself before using it. If the lid is down, I’ll pee on that, too, even if it’s covered with a pink fuzzy thing.”

Seat up means a man used it and was considerate enough to not pee on the seat.

Seat down means that he either raised the seat, peed, then lowered it. Or (more likely) he didn’t even bother and your seat is frosted with spray. Care to make a wager?

That said, I usually put the seat and the lid down before flushing. Both for the aforementioned backsplash, and also because cat thinks it’s a water bowl.

Or he took a dump.

Prefer to keep it closed for both sanitary and “so the cats won’t play in it” reasons.

However, my longstanding philosophy on the subject of toilet seats is that if you’re foolish enough to sit down without looking, you deserve what you get.

I mean, do you sit down on public or work toilets without looking? :eek:

You put both the seat and the lid down.

That way, anyone using the toilet needs to lift something…then when they are done, they return it to its original state, and there’s no possibility of an ‘unpleasant surprise’.

I happen to be on hold with Bemis Seats right now for an unrelated matter. My rep assures me that the lid is NOT for sitting on.

It’s strictly for concealing the bowl.

Bemis also makes Church and is the oem supplier for Kohler and many other manufacturers.

I think you mean put the seat AND the lid back down, yes?

But there are many women who insist that the man must put *just *the seat down when his standing pee is done, as a courtesy. This is what my OP was driving at and what I’d like an explanation of.
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