In another thread, I mentioned that I reward myself with three kettle chips and a jolly rancher to stop myself from scrolling on my phone forever, so I can hop out my car and get to my destination. I have those and other treats in my car trunk.
I’ve been going down a rabbit hole the last few months. I’m researching ways to increase motivation and resist temptation.
Most of the strategies I see are underwhelming as hell. Like “do your dishes, and you can reward yourself by petting your dog!” or “clean out your closet and then you can spend time in your garden!”
WTF?
With me it’s FOOD that gets me going!
-Last month, I had to pay a parking ticket in person about an hour away. I didn’t want to that! SO I rewarded myself with a small McDonald fry afterwards.
-This morning, I didn’t want to shower. In hotels, I love showers. But I’m on the road and had to shower at a truck stop! Ew! And I didn’t want to pay $18. I thought about skipping it, but it is Thursday. I see more single women at the casino on Thursday nights (besides Fri and Sat night), and I don’t want to be smelling like chicken tika masala! Soooooo, after my shower I rewarded myself with half of a Twix.
-Speaking of women. Shortly after graduating college, whenever I needed to do laundry I made sure to go to a laundromat near a college campus so I could chat with women while our clothes are washing. I HATE doing laundry! I can’t do that these days though, I’m older and that would make me a creeper. The last time I did laundry, I played with legos. That made time pass a little better!
-Sometimes I front load myself with rewards. I sometimes eat ghost pepper nuts with seasoning to wake my ass up in the morning. Yum and ouch! Also, cold showers does the trick sometimes.
Now that I’m an old lady, retired, and have an okay amount of money, the question of how I reward myself doesn’t really apply. In fact, I virtually never deny myself.
Yeah, there’s the food thing, and I try not to go overboard there (half a Twix would not be a blip on my reward radar-- my hat is off to you for being motivated by that). Last Friday I slightly injured my toe on my daily walk, so when I got home, I sat on the sofa and binged YouTube videos and other TV all that day, all Saturday, AND all Sunday. On Monday, my toe was fine. I do not want to mess even a teeny bit with minor injuries. I live with people who use canes, walkers, and rollators-- don’t want to join that club. Until I have to.
I get up whenever I want, go to bed ditto*, nap if so inclined, visit with people, or totally hide out. Eat out, scrounge for snacks in my own kitchen. Wear whatever I want.
My life is one ginormous indulgence-fest. And I am soooo very grateful, as for decades I attended a zillion meetings, wrote two zillion reports, wore pantyhose and high heels, tolerated stupid obnoxious bosses, and waited my whole life to be permaently OFF DUTY. Which I now am. I thank the universe every day.
Thank you for allowing me to pass through your thread.
* I was watching an episode of the excellent YouTube show “Tasting History” with Max Miller and he said he encountered someone (no doubt someone young-ish) who didn’t know the word “ditto” or what it meant.
I’m like @ThelmaLou but not as experienced with it. My reaction to anything unpleasant I might need to do is simply to decide it doesn’t need doing. Then I don’t do it.
But that really is just both of us stealth-bragging (with very little stealth) about the wonders of retirement. Real adulting includes a big helping of shit one just doesn’t want to do.
As to something actually maybe useful for the OP …
There’s a saying by a blogger I used to follow. He said “Discipline beats motivation every time.” His point as applied here is that reward and punishment and such are all about motivation. If you’re relying on motivation to get your [whatever] done, you’ve already lost. What you need is discipline. Which can be learned. It simply becomes unthinkable to shirk [whatever]. Your desire to be disciplined is it’s own reward and its own inexaustible motivator.
Yes, food for me, like i rewarded myself (and my wife agreed) with a Lunch at Denny’s (yeah, hardly gourmet, but it is close, not busy and I get 15% off).
And there is that.
I go to see my Doctor every three months to get injections in my knees to avoid arthritis pain. Less pain is my reward for the inconvenience and the small pain of the injections. Does anyone really LIKE going to the Doctors?
At some point in my middle 30’s I became disgusted with that part of me that likes to procrastinate. I was ok on the big stuff but the little stuff like mailing a letter, or getting up off the couch to turn off the garage light, filling out a form, I was terrible. Sometimes I would drink until I stopped thinking about it instead of just doing it. I started carrying a things to do list. My reward was an empty list. I found that very motivating and kept my list for decades until about 5 years ago. I just didn’t need it anymore. I had a rule that no matter how small something was, I could not go to bed without adding it to my list if it wasn’t done. I hated that list and would do anything to keep from adding to it. Now I have a daily planner which is 90% discretionary. Most of it consists of creative issues that will require me to put several hours of organized thought into. I love the feeling of resolving unresolved issues and that is my reward. Sometimes resolving something means just letting it go.
Same with me. Retired, alone in the world, but I have a bit of money and do exactly as I like, answering to no one. My cat and I watch birds at the feeder, nap when we feel tired, I sit up all night reading if I want. Shop and cook whatever I fancy, with a glass or two of wine. In my last years, It’s All About Me. …I do make myself keep the kitchen and bathroom clean all the time before I sit down in the evening. And take out the trash and recycling every couple of days (binging episodes of ‘Hoarding’ is great motivation.). Sundays I give the place a good clean and then take a drive listening to my favorite music, LOUD.
I lost a lot of weight a few years ago, I decided that I couldn’t buy a new fly rod I really wanted until I hit my target. I could have afforded it anytime, but I denied myself to motivate myself.
I use one specific credit card for just about every expense, including recurring expenses on auto-pay, and so I have a pretty significant cashback/points total each month. Amazon is one site that allows me to easily choose whether I use that money for a specific purchase.
And for at least the last ten years, I have made absolutely sure that every cent of that money goes towards a purchase of something that is not necessary. It is strictly for splurge purchases. My wife is getting rather tired of me asking her, “Honey, can you think of anything I don’t need that costs about $120?” She will point out that I had promised to replace this or that around the house several months ago. Nope. It’s splurge money.
I wonder how much one of those squirrel-spinning bird feeders costs?
My Wife and I are in the process of moving, so we now have two houses. It’s quite the pain and panic and lots of travel. And selling the old house as well.
But, we found a fantastic place to eat about 2 miles from the new house. Sit outside, fabulous views of the Colorado front range and the food is great. It’s casual because it’s connected to a golf course. And we get 10% off.
It is probably the best restaurant in the county. Shorts and tee shirts at lunch is fine though. Wait staff are great.
We love where we are moving to, and this was quite a find.
