That would be a nice curve ball!
My husband has an annoying habit of listening to the first half of something I’m saying in which I’m trying to answer a question he’s just asked, and interrupting all upset because I haven’t given him the answer. What I do is say over him, in fairly ringing tones, “IF YOU’LL LET ME FINISH MY SENTENCE, I was in the PROCESS of saying…” and then completing the thought. It works pretty well.
Of course, my father was an inveterate interruptor, so I had to learn growing up to be assertive about his cutting me off.
I get this a lot at work – a customer will interrupt me as I am explaining something (important about the product or their order or whatever) and I will just go silent. I will wait a full 5-10 seconds after they are done talking before resuming. Most of the time, I will resume with “why, yes, what I was trying to explain just now, before you asked me that is…” because it si almost always the exact thing I am trying to explain that they interrupt to ask about.
In a social setting, I will (depending on the other person) either just turn and walk away or do the fall silent for 20-30 seconds after they STFU. When I do the latter, the other person inevitably asks “what’s wrong?” and I will say “I was just waiting to see if it was my turn to speak yet.” That is usually very effective. I have done the overtalk thing, where I just continue talking, since I have a very soothing voice (unless I try not to) it freaks most people out and they shut up very quickly. The problem with that method, although it is very effective, is that I can get “bad monitor scores” at work if I do it on a call. If I do it in my personal/social life, it is very tempting to do it at work, too, so I try to not do it very often.
I’ve known several serial interrupters, and they’re damned annoying. As a result, I’ve tried various methods - the “as I was saying” and amrussell’s Dad’s ‘just keep talking’ method seem to work the best. If depends so much on the context - is this a friend, a spouse, a stranger?
I get this a lot from my wife, and my kids have learned it from her. I tend to keep talking, but sometimes I’ll interrupt them back and point out firmly that I was still speaking. The usual response is “but I thought you’d finished!”. My response tends to be on the lines of “how many sentences end with the words ‘and so’?” (or whatever).
Another thing: I used to get interrupted a lot when I was younger - around my early 20s - by all sorts of people, so I realised that this was my problem, not just theirs. So I worked on making my conversational voice and manner more engaging, and this worked. Now it’s habit to modulate my voice more, make frequent eye contact, use more facial expression and otherwise be more interesting to listen to.
I’ve also learned a lot from an old family friend, who seems to be able to be fascinating to listen to whatever she’s saying. Watching her, she leans forward slightly while she’s speaking, talks with a smile and raised eyebrows, and maintains eye contact - if she’s talking to several people she’ll look from one to another in turn. And she talks steadily, with minimal use of “ums” and “ers” and other fillers.
This friend, by the way, is a teacher. Maybe her conversational technique was (perhaps unconsciously) developed in the classroom.
I’m married to an interrupter. When he interrupts me, I usually wait until he’s done, and then say “can I talk now?” But it really bugs me when he interrupts other people. So I gently try to get my point across by staring at him when he does it with That Look on my face, waiting until he shuts up and saying “I’m sorry, Ashley, what were you saying about the baby taking a bottle well” or whatever is appropriate. Sometimes it works. ::shrug::
I just let them go. The point I was trying to make is simply lost to that person. Sometimes it is their loss. The rest of them, why bother?
I have had this same problem for the last several years; it seems like it started when I moved to Kansas, but maybe that is selective memory (not everything is Kansas’s fault :smack: ). Anyway, I was pretty upset too, but now I am so used to it that my technique is second nature. If someone interrupts when I am speaking, I instantly stop speaking and let them say whatever it is that was SO important that they had to invoke such rudeness in their haste to spew forth the words :o . Sometimes the person doesn’t notice and sometimes the effect is jarring. I do not resume my point unless asked. I figure why waste the energy if someone doesn’t care enough to inquire about your dropped point.
Besides, this kind of ties in to my whole not talking so much/ stop oversharing thing that I am currently working on. Not keeping my mouth shut has been bad on many occasions. I guess that is why my posts tend to be long and full of too much info here, it is a crutch while I am working on my zipped-lip 
.
I like Judge Milian’s (of the People’s Court) approach - one of her favorite lines is “Excuse me, did I take a breath and give you the impression I was done speaking?”
Love that lady. 
Since I’m a veeeeery nice person ( :rolleyes: )and usually don’t stand up for myself well, I’ve gotten spectacular results by raising my voice a little and saying:
“I’m not done talking.”
People sit and up take notice–it totally catches them off guard. But I hate interrupters. HATE.
In a one on one conversation, I just let the person interrupt. If the person makes it a big habit then I’ll probably just stop talking to them regularly. In my experience people who interrupt you anytime you’re talking when it’s a 1-on-1 conversation are people who have no interest in what you’re saying and just want to use you as a wall to sound off on.
In group situations if I “clearly have the floor” and am talking to everyone else and someone interjects in while I’m talking, I just keep talking. I usually just pretend I didn’t take note of the person trying to interrupt. It seems to work most of the time, and am not surprised to hear that others use the technique.
I try to be polite and wait for people to finish their thoughts before I begin my thoughts. However, it seems that everyone else wants to begin speaking their thoughts when there are about 3 or 4 words left in the mouth of the current speaker. The new speaker’s speaking overlaps the tail end of the previous speaker. I had to learn that if I wanted to speak at all in a group setting, I would have to start doing this.
I like to say, “Oh, I’m sorry. You make your point and then I’ll finish mine.” I enjoy listening, but it’s usually the sound of the sexton’s spade furiously digging the plot for their ideas.
People (and cultures) differ in terms of how much they overlap speech. What you percieve as interrupting may be someone else’s perfectly fine overlap. It is also possible that you have a quieter speaking style than others, and they are not aware that you have started speaking. I say this because you say that you get interrupted frequently, so there is some sort of mismatch going on.
My mother seems not to be able to remember a thought longer than three seconds. Her solution is to say whatever she thinks whenever she thinks it, regardless of anyone else speaking at the same time. And regardless of how inconsequential the thought might be. During my whole childhood, I don’t think I finished a sentence, ever.
When I became an adult, and realized that I didn’t actually have to put up with jackrabbit conversations all the time, I began to use the “fall silent” method. I just stopped talking. Usually, she would ramble for a little while about something, and then stop. After a couple moments of silence, she’d say, “What were you saying?” I’d either finish what I was saying, or say, “I really don’t remember” if that were the case. It really didn’t take that long for her to modify her behavior, at least around me. She still forgets occasionally, and I respond the same way.
But I like the idea of continuing to speak as if the interrupter didn’t exist. I think it’d be much more effective on my sister-in-law, a constant interrupter. She is The Center of the Universe, though, so I guess it’s her right to speak whenever she wishes. Oy.
I had the misfortune of being stuck with a young Chatty Cathy for a few hours one-on-one during my vacation. She’d just go on and on about everything that she was interested in and wouldn’t listen to anyone else. We were walking along and as I was saying something she interrupted me. When she was done I said, “I was going to tell you my opinion of that, but it’s obvious that you aren’t interested in anything but your own monologue.” She was stunned that I said it and apologized profusely. We then had a chat about how polite people converse with one another. I wonder if it ever sunk in.
Thanks Everyone for all the great replies! I think I’m a-gonna do the one some of you suggested and just stop talking immediately when interrupted, and then not bother resuming unless asked('cause they’re not interested anyway).
In fact, now I can hardly wait to get to work just so I can run into a certain guy that happens to be a big offender. It’ll be fun to see if he has any reaction when I just let things drop on my end.
My sister gets pissed and says “I was talking!” The problem is everybody has been listening to her for the last half hour and she never pauses to let somebody give even one or two lines of input. It’s a lecture, not a family having pleasant interchange. twenty to thirty minutes of nobody but her talking is my limit and I finally start talking, and get her statement. I’m to the point where I’m about to tell her next time, if she’d shut up and let other’s take turns speaking it wouldn’t happen. Six or more people in the room and only she gets to speek. :mad:
Remember this next time you’re interrupted and think back to how long you have been talking. It might be a sign that you need to give others a turn to speak. :eek:
The problem with just not speaking is that some people take it as a sign to keep going on and on, because your so enthralled by their wisdom. You need to recognise them and modify the response.
Ooooooh…I have someone in my life that is in the 95/05 talking ratio. Sometimes it’s funny and entertaining. Other times, not so much. There is a floodgate of psychological baggage just waiting to fall off the carousel…it’s just a matter of time.
Have you considered secretly tape recording your sister and playing it back to her? 