Ladies: Would you get involved with a Saudi Arabian man?

[CookingWithGas]

@Johanna

She’s from Palestine…

JFTR my wife is Egyptian through from a liberal family and she grew up in the U.S. Her stepfather once told me, “A good Muslim doesn’t drink, but if he’s a *really *good Muslim, it’s OK.” He was Egypt’s first ambassador to Israel. Nonetheless, she did not want the ostensible stigma of having married a non-Muslim.

[colonial]

@Blackberry

I don’t even know for sure if he is Muslim, although I think in Saudi Arabia you have to at least act like you are.

If he has a Saudi passport then he is a Muslim.

[Johanna]

@CookingWithGas

JFTR my wife is Egyptian through from a liberal family and she grew up in the U.S. Her stepfather once told me, “A good Muslim doesn’t drink, but if he’s a *really *good Muslim, it’s OK.” He was Egypt’s first ambassador to Israel. Nonetheless, she did not want the ostensible stigma of having married a non-Muslim.

Good point. Demonstrates the difference between discrete rulings in the science of fiqh versus general social pressure which is not necessarily rooted in any fiqh at all. How many popular attitudes in Muslim social circles are faithful to Islamic textual prescriptions, if any?

[Blackberry]

@AK84

Yes it must be. Considering about the only people who can afford to travel to the West are upper middle and above. The kind of women who the OPs date would know considering his likely social class are those who have a lot more disposable income than most ordinary people…anywhere. Caling them oppressed is about the most ridiculous statement anyone can make.

Since when is economic oppression the only kind of oppression? I’d sure rather live here and be poor (which I am) than live there and be rich.

Anyway, he’s here on a scholarship from his government, and he seems to have some money but he had a good job in Saudi Arabia, so I don’t see any indication that he necessarily was raised in a wealthy family and only hobnobbed with other rich people.

@colonial

If he has a Saudi passport then he is a Muslim.

I’m sure there are people there who are considered Muslim by the government, but don’t really believe. (As it turns out he does consider himself Muslim though.)

[Blackberry]

@CairoCarol

Full disclosure - I am no fan of many aspects of Saudi culture and saw some of its excesses when I lived in Egypt (a prime tourist destination for Saudis on honeymoon, gambling, or on the prowl). It doesn’t surprise me in the least that the OP’s potential paramour is shaping up as someone she won’t want to date. But its important that she comes to this conclusion by talking to him as a person, not by jumping to conclusions based on his nationality.

I had been agreeing with this, because I had a good time and I’m glad I did go out with him. But then I got to thinking about it and what if another man who recently came here from Saudi Arabia asks me out sometime and I’m not in the mood to spend time on a longshot? Would it really be wrong to assume that our beliefs are probably too different, and not give him a chance?

Who in this thread would be comfortable being judged solely on their nationality (or religion), with no effort to get to know you as a person? Not me, that’s for sure.

Well, I really wouldn’t have any problem with a Saudi Arabian man assuming we wouldn’t be compatible, just because I’m American.

I guess it depends on how true the generalization is. Assuming he’s a terrorist would obviously be horrible. Assuming his beliefs are not compatible with mine is probably almost certain to be correct.

[Nava]

@AK84

You mean the woman who at times had to beg for money to be able to pay her ladies in waiting and handmaidens?

Next time get a better example.

And you think none of those other women ever have to beg, negotiate, and suck and grunt? Seriously? Their life is all shopping, they eat but do not fart and all they want out of life is more malls?

[Siam_Sam]

@elbows

In my experience with muslim culture, I found that, once off the island, they can be more lax morally. Hence all the brothels along the Thai Malay border. Or when you fly through any Asian airport, even early in the morning, the bars are all packed out with Arabs in long white robes with beers in their hands. For some, but not all, once off the island, things change, it’s time to let loose a little, or a lot!

Not to mention all the bars in the Little Arabia section on Lower Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok and the pick-up bar in the basement of the Grace Hotel, the old Arab standby. Many of the freelance hookers on that portion of the street are chubby, many from Muslim countries themselves, because the Arab and other Muslim men like a little meat on the bones. Allah seems to avert his eyes when his followers are among the heathens.

[astro]

A little scene froma mall in Saudia Arabia to give you an idea of how progressive they are.

[Blackberry]

@sahirrnee

Another thing to check out is if he has a wife and children back home, or if he is expected to marry someone from back home. I dated two Nigerians and was asked out by one Israeli who had a wives and children back home. They didn’t think it should be an issue, they said it wasn’t an issue for their wives. For all I know it is an acceptable part of their culture, it’s not acceptable to me. That they never even thought to mention it before we went out shows just how little it meant to them.

Okay! I didn’t pay too much attention to this the first time around, but yes, it turns out that he is married with two children, and didn’t mention it until now because I didn’t ask :rolleyes:.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@astro

A little scene froma mall in Saudia Arabia to give you an idea of how progressive they are.

That made my stomach clench with anxiety just watching it. Good for her for standing up for herself (but man, she doesn’t know when to shut up when she’s won!).

[Sahirrnee]

@Blackberry

Okay! I didn’t pay too much attention to this the first time around, but yes, it turns out that he is married with two children, and didn’t mention it until now because I didn’t ask :rolleyes:.

I’m glad you found out before you got involved.
Could you imagine falling in love with him, marrying him and the first time he takes you to his home you find out you are not the only one?

[shijinn]

what exactly has the man done to earn some of the comments made here? it appears he has been nothing but polite and honest so far.

[elbows]

Flirting and dating while married with children maybe?

[Simple_Linctus]

@elbows

Flirting and dating while married with children maybe?

Why is that a problem when he’s from a society that allows more than one wife?

[even_sven]

@elbows

Flirting and dating while married with children maybe?

Which is completely normal for someone who is interested in finding a second wife. Sure, you may not be into it. But like “I used to be the other gender” or “I have an STD”, this disclosure is something that typically comes between the first and third date.

SIimy? I don’t know. At least they have a system that keeps everyone in the know, rather than AshleyMadison.com.

[Sahirrnee]

I had forgotten about this that I read years ago.
I hope I did this right, never copied a link here before,

[URL=“404 - Page Not Found”/URL]

[Cat_Whisperer]

@sahirrnee

I had forgotten about this that I read years ago.
I hope I did this right, never copied a link here before,

[URL=“404 - Page Not Found”/URL]

Not quite - you missed a couple of square brackets.

An example -
[url=http://www.spidersolitaire.org/]Description of your link here.[ /url] (I inserted a space in the closing brackets to break the link.)

[Sarabellum]

@sahirrnee

I had forgotten about this that I read years ago.
I hope I did this right, never copied a link here before,

[

Wow, [URL=“404 - Page Not Found”]that link](404 - Page Not Found"/URL) was certainly eye-opening.

[Sahirrnee]

Try again

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_931.html

http://travel.state.gov/travel/cis_pa_tw/tw/tw_931.html

[Blackberry]

@sahirrnee

I’m glad you found out before you got involved.
Could you imagine falling in love with him, marrying him and the first time he takes you to his home you find out you are not the only one?

I thought it would seem rude to flat out ask him if he already has a family, but I guess not! His family isn’t even in Saudi Arabia right now, they’re here temporarily.

I kind of sympathize with his situation if he doesn’t have a good relationship with his wife (which is what he said) but I sympathize with her more, because he’s off doing whatever he wants and living more of a bachelor lifestyle than most bachelors, and I’m pretty sure she doesn’t get to do anything like that.

@even_sven

Which is completely normal for someone who is interested in finding a second wife. Sure, you may not be into it. But like “I used to be the other gender” or “I have an STD”, this disclosure is something that typically comes between the first and third date.

I guess, but I think that method is going to see about a 0% success rate with non-Muslim American women.