I also wanted to say, if you are not enjoying whatever it is I’ve (or other people) have recommended, stop reading it immediately and move on to something else. I find that sometimes I will read a book because it is “good for me,” not because I like it, and that quickly leads to dislike of the book and maybe even that entire branch of literature 
Nothing is more likely to turn you off of the classics than reluctantly slogging through Jane Eyre or suchlike. I know some people like Aristotle but I’ll never be able to fully appreciate him, having been forced to read his treatises on how to write plays. Anyhow, a little advice. (But please do read The Scarlet Pimpernel, because it’s a superhero book before Superheros came about officially.)
Anything, anything, by Alexander Dumas, but yes, start with the Count. The best revenge story ever.
Very true! We seem to be throwing **Silver Fire ** in at the deep end. SF, you will probably enjoy the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy books by Douglas Adams, and they are very popular on this board.
I also recommend Watership Down by Richard Adams. I’ll try to come up with more…
• The Epic of Gilgamesh, which sounds intimidating, but is not at all. It’s the oldest narrative poem in existance (circa 2000 B.C.). The translation I read by David Ferry (recommended) was 99 pages and could be read in one day. If you like action-adventure, with a little sex thrown in, the royal hellraiser Gilgamesh is your man. A recent translation by Stephen Mitchell has also been well received. The SparkNotes study guide.
• Henry David Thoreau, Walden, one of my two favorite non-fiction books of all time. The edition annotated by Philip Van Doren Stern is highly recommended; it includes the essay Civil Disobedience.
• Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice. As a writer, Austen is charming, sensible, rational, ironical — and funny. The SparkNotes.
• F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby. Search no further for the great American novel; this is it. One of my two favorite fiction books. The SparkNotes.
And then move onto Joseph Heller’s Catch-22. (I love Milo Minderbender’s scheme to by eggs for seven cents and sell them for five cents, making a profit for everyone involved.)
And if you like that, try The Plague Dogs, and the much harder going Shardik by the same author.
I like Aldous Huxley and George Orwell, and Twain (especially The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court). Graham Greene is good for short, yet deeply perceptive novels (Our Man In Havana and The Quiet American are some recommendations, plus his short stories), and since I haven’t already seen it mentioned, A Thousand And One Arabian Nights is a classic that (with the right translation) is a nice light read.
Stranger
AYE! Tw Cities! Are ye daft mun?
Another vote for pretty much anything by Terry Pratchett. Nominally it’s science fiction, but it’s mostly just satirical humor.
For “harder” science fiction, I’d recommend “The Moon Is A Harsh Mistress,” by Robert Heinlein - it’s not near as much science fiction as political commentary - but done up in a setting where it’s easier to explore some wilder ideas. (Sort of like the Straight Dope website -!) Follow it up with “Stranger In A Strange Land” by the same author. Again, more political / social commentary than science - okay, maybe getting a little dated for that - but good. And classic.
Anyone want to suggest “Ulysees” by James Joyce? No? (Anyone care to explain it in fifteen words or less?)
The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton. I can’t recommend it enough, and I’m not romantic. I haven’t even finished it, but I’m actually rationing it out by chapter because it’s so damned good. It should be required reading in high school, especially all girl’s schools.
I could make up something. Who could contradict me? 
What’s funny is how beautiful and readable Joyce is in The Dubliners. Then you get to Ulysses and it’s sheer torture. I’ve read excerpts and have never had the desire to read more.
Impressions of an ad writer, his wife, and a young artist one day in Dublin.
Ta da!
I’m going to go with War and Peace (Tolstoy). I’m not just saying that to sound intellectual, I genuinely adore that book. But then I got my copy from a friend because she couldn’t get through it no matter how hard she tried so YMMV.
Any works by Al Franken, Tom Bodett or P.J.O’Rourke are good.
Maybe not so ‘classic’, but certainly fun authors…
Feh. I can explain all James Joyce in two words: “It sucks”. I had to read Dubliners and my friends had to read A Potrait of the artist as a young man and only three of us survived. The rest were found buried under a pile of epiphanies.
Here are some of my favorite books:
• I always recommend Lonesome Dove. Even if you saw the television miniseries, read the book! It’s funny and heartbreaking. I’ve read it several times and enjoy it every time I do!
• **Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil ** by John Berendt. True tale of society murder and assorted oddball characters in Savannah, Ga.
• **The World According to Garp ** by John Irving. Anything by John Irving is good; he used to be my favorite author, but I sort of have tired of him over the years. Some other titles are **The Hotel New Hampshire ** and **A Prayer for Owen Meany **, which is excellent. He has a new one out, I read recently.
• **The Journeyer ** by Gary Jennings. Tells the “true story” of the adventures of Marco Polo from Italy to the empire of Ghengis Khan in the 1200s. Hilarious. I’ve read all his books and they’re at times depressing and shocking. (I’ve seen people on these boards accuse him of being a pedophile, I think.) But in terms of quantity of sheer entertainment, he can keep you going for months. Other titles are Spangle, Aztec and Raptor.
• **Jitterbug Perfume ** by Tom Robbins. Also odd but also funny. The strange story of a bottle of perfume, sort of.
• A Confederacy of Dunces, John Kennedy Toole. This gets recommended a lot here at SD. It won a Pulitzer Prize, awarded posthumously. The story of Ignatius, a super-neurotic mama’s boy intellectual who eventually finds a happiness as a hot-dog vendor in New Orleans’ French Quarter.
• **The Executioner’s Song ** by Norman Mailer. This is one of my all-time favorite books. It tells the story of Gary Gilmore, the man who challenged the ruling on executions and was put to death in Utah in the late ’70s for killing two men. It looks at the crime and all the legal battles, protests, etc. as well as his personal story and the stories of his family. Also his relationship with Nicole, a real trashy slut who is also quite fascinating! His brother is Mikal Gilmore, who used to be, and might still be, a writer for Rolling Stone magazine.
• Woman on the Edge of Time, Marge Piercy. Tale of a possible future Utopian society whose fate depends on an inner-city black woman who may be crazy. We know she’s not, but what will her decision be?
• Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. It is a good book. I was suprised by its depth when I re-read it a couple years ago.
• Roots by Alex Haley. I always feel obligated to read it after reading GWTW; uplifting story of a family.
• Sophie’s Choice by William Styron. The horrors of the Holocaust, personalized for us.
• The Good Earth by Pearl Buck. Chinese farmer goes from poverty to wealth.
• The Color Purple by Alice Walker. Rural southern black woman triumphs over the men who try to rob her of self-worth.
• A Tree Grows in Brooklyn by Maggie Smith. Girlhood classic, which I adored, along with Anne of Green Gables. YMMV
So many of these I’d love to be reading for the first time! Have fun!
Oh, I disagree. For example, I think “The Dead” is one of the finest short stories ever written.
War and Peace well… you sounded like you had some time on your hands!! 
I second Joyce’s “The Dead” and anything by Vonnegut.
“The Sun Also Rises” Ernest Hemmingway
“As I Lay Dying” William Faulkner
“Farenheit 451” Ray Bradbury
“2001” Arthur C. Clarke
“Foucault’s Pendulum” Umberto Eco
"QB VII " Leon Uris
“Handmaids Tale” Margaret Atwood
and I’ve always been partial to anything by J.D. Salinger
and Robert Anton Wilson
Just to name a few.
Harry Potter Books are a cracking good read. (If not addictive.)
I second that and also:
“Foucault’s Pendulum” Umberto Eco and of course the Name of the rose
If you’re going the russian way:
Mikhail Lermontov’s A hero of our times is good, but even better are:
Dead souls by Nikolai Gogol
and my fav: Oblomov by Ivan Goncharov. If you think you’re lazy and no good read about that fella.
Sci-fi:
Orson Scott Card
William Gibson
Neal Stephenson
Neil Gaimon
Robert Rankin for surreal humor
crime:
Michaal Connelly
I’ll second Ellen Cherry. How did I forget to mention Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins? Also by the same author: Even Cowgirls get the Blues and Still Life with Woodpecker. This author, like Vonnegut, usually falls into the “either love em or hate em” category.
And arguably the best book ever written.