Kerry: “So, Clinton says if you just shove her legs all the way back to her ears, like this…”
Actually, it’s the first one. But at least someone else got it. 
Edwards (muttering through clenched teeth): If he doesn’t stop singing show tunes RIGHT THIS SECOND, I’m gonna punch him in the mouth…
Kerry: “I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!”
Kerry: HAAAAAA-llelujah! HAAAAAA-llelujah!
Edwards: Praise the lawd!
Kerry: “What’s with the fuckin’ balloons?”
Kerry: Then I look up and there she is, the most beautiful woman I’ve seen, and she says, “Hello, my name is Teresa”, and well, you know the rest.
Edwards: Yeah. CHE-CHING! Mo money, mo money, mo money!
Kerry: Damn skippy!
Batman Kerry: Behold! The MOTHER SHIP!
Robin (to himself): Smile and nod, smile and nod…
falls off of chair
I think we have a winner.
Edward (through clenched teeth): Dammit John, knock it off with the shadow puppets. I mean it now!
KERRY KHAAAANNNN!!!
EDWARDS: He’s doing it again… why did I let him talk me into going to a Star Trek convention?.. oh, this is so embarrassing… if he calls me Chekov again I’m gonna punch his lights out…
Kerry: (singing) “The sun is a mass of incandescent gas, a gigantic nuclear furnace…”
BTW, Lord Ashtar, I thought it was the second one, too. Weird.
Hey 2 Johns! Down here! I’m the cute baby you’re pretending to be holding up and looking at. You dropped me you bastards! Down here!
Kerry is speaking to a large assembly with Edwards by his side.
Edwards (thinking): I shoulda used Preperation-H!
or…
Kerry: Mine is THIS big!!!
Edwards (thinking): I… am… so… horny!
Dammit, lieu! I wanted to suggest the Bob Dole impersonation!
Edwards: Dammit! He’s conducting the orchestra again. What a doofus!
Kerry: … bill-li-ons and bill-li-ons of stars…
Edwards: If he does that Carl Sagan impression ONE MORE TIME I’m gonna kill him!
Kerry: Look at the size of the moon tonight! Hey, have you ever tried listening to Dark Side of the Moon and watching Wizard of Oz? Trippin’ man, trippin…John? John? Oh crap, he’s stuck in grinning politician mode again. Quick, someone hit that switch on his back and reboot him before everyone notices!
hehehehe Rooves
Edwards: “You want Bush’s balls over there? I’m crunching them in my right fist, you know.”