Upping the ante on Kinkade horror

I just had to share. I got an ad for this monstrosity in the mail, and it’s so jaw-droppingly tacky and awful, I can’t keep it to myself.

And yes, if someone finds this kind of thing beautiful and inspiring, they have every right to hang it up and consider it beautiful, worthwhile art.

But I have every right to snicker at them, too.

I first looked at it and thought, “Hmm, a hummingbird sculpture. I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a real hummingbird, but it might look good in the right place. Especially if there was a sculpture of a real bird.” Then I took a closer look at the wings. UGH! Man, that sucks.

The other day a little old lady called me up looking into how much some of his crap cost. I helped her find the nearest gallery. She said she was on a limited income, was legally blind, and was hoping it would not be too much. I felt a bit guilty actually giving her the number to that purveyor of horrors, but hey, she is an adult and here eyesight made looking up the number difficult. But it gave me insight into his customers–they are legally blind.

I’d rather hand a Velvet Jesus on the wall than a Kincade.

I just threw up a little in my mouth.

If you send it to Kinkade, he can paint a waterfall on it, I’m sure. Then you can hang it on your wall.

Even removing the “gardens of luminous wonder” from the equation, how on earth could you have thought that?

It looks like a pigeon that’s embarrassed because it just crapped itself.

My granny used to love this kind of stuff. Since I knew that her artistic tastes tended toward the garish and glurgeful, I created a few kitschy Kinkadesque pieces as gifts for her. I found it alarmingly pleasant to mimic this style of “art.” There is a perverse thrill to it, rather like mimicking Elvis’s taste in cuisine or doing karaoke versions of Vanilla Ice songs.

I can think of some old women’s homes that it would fit right in. Trust me, my house is not the right place.

I just fell in the bathtub and hurt my ribs but now I know it’s not too serious. There’s no sharp pains when I laugh at that line.

Hmmm…maybe it would nicely balance the aqua ceramic sea horse in the can…?

I just wanna say, this is the first time I’ve seen a pic of Kinkade himself, and I gotta ask:
What’s with the molestache? I don’t want I guy who looks like that painting my kitsch.

“painting the kitsch”, so that’s what they’re calling it these days…

I worked in a call center for 7 years, and there was a group of trailer-park housewives on my tech team who actually paid for a set of screensavers and wallpapers of Kincade crap. They were absolutely rhapsodic over the stuff. They were devastated when IT wiped every workstation in the place and banned all non-client, non-work software, including desktop themes. ('Course, I was a little upset too … no more X-Files screensavers!) But I was so grateful at not having to look at anymore “Garden of Prayer” glurge.

Okay, but what about our right NOT to be subjected to horrors that make us want to jab our eyes out with chopsticks?

As long as it doesn’t escape the trailer park, I’m good with it. They can hang it right next to this:

Ack! Make it stop!!!

The Horror! The Horror!

I just threw up in my mouth…a lot. :frowning:

What is people’s objection to Kinkade? I think his paintings are great. Sure they’re pretty much all the same, but is that why people hate him?

There are much better examples of Impressionist painting out there. The thing that I hate about Thomas Kinkade’s work is that it’s got that eery-creepy “this is not reality” lighting to it that turns any meaning that the painting might have had into one giant blob of glurge. Sure, it’s great for people with no real taste in art who tend towards inoffensive or religious themes in the works they buy, but it’s really just not for me.

I’m only slightly unsurprised that my future MIL doesn’t have that “stained glass” cross. It would be fitting to her tastes, but, well, it’s not an Orthodox icon, so it wouldn’t be able to be blessed by the priest.

I think it’s because they are the visual equivalent of a deep-fried Twinkie covered in Kool-Whip.