Yep. Perfectly agreeable outside the home so no one would imagine how he could be in private. Knows his wife won’t ever tell. Maybe pissed his life didn’t turn out the way he thought it would and those around him get the brunt of it.
It wasn’t clear from your original post if this has always been your father’s behavior or has he changed for the worse as he’s gotten older. If the latter, there could be a very good explanation and he should seek medical attention. If he’s always been so abusive in his behavior, then it’s a pretty tough problem to crack if he refuses to seek professional help.
It worked in one way to combat his depression, but it killed his libido. Also, he was diagnosed with a personality disorder with symptoms not otherwise specified. He had SERIOUS anger management problems. He felt he was fine, and wouldn’t work to get better. It was “all my fault” you see. He was firmly entrenched in the behaviour pattern, and I am lucky I got out alive.
Or, it could be that he decided to go down that path because as the OP put it, “he lost his kingdom” so decided to lash out at his family to ease the pain he felt. He’d feel a little bit better once he’d cowed his family. It still stems from the abuser’s inabilty to face up to failure in life, and pick up the pieces and start over. They are unable to deal with such negativity, and unable to express their negative emotions in any other way than destructively. Often they also had problems expressing the postive emotions too, before the big event that caused them to decide abusing others would assuage their damaged ego.
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This is closed.
-xash
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