Revenge (harmless)

Factual Questions
1

What was the most fun, clever, fulfilling act of revenge you ever really did?
No physical harm or illegal stuff, just a little “Right back at ya!” stuff.
Mine was: I told off a little snotty manager who rode roughshod over her people.
Soon it spread through the office, and I had to re-tell it over & over. Finally I said, “Aww, c’mon. Go ask Sue, I’m tired of it.”
(Sue was the tell-off-ee)
And the woman said to me “C’mon, I want to hear it right from the horses mouth!”
I said, “Well ask Sue and get it straight from the horses ass!”

“That was small, but I feel the better for it.”-- Katherine Hepburn

2

One of my students got me on April Fool’s Day. I don’t even remember what the prank was, but I do remember my revenge. He was the top student in the class, straight A+.

Several weeks after the April 1 incident, everybody had forgotten about it, and it was finals week. All the students waited anxiously in the hall as I graded the final exams on the spot. I handed out the grade sheets one by one, but had stuck the prankster’s paper at the bottom of the pile, so his would be the last to be graded.

Finally I handed him his semester results, and with many of the students still hanging around, announced he has failed his final exam, and his final grade would therefore be D+. Everybody’s jaw dropped, and that guy just about had a heart attack. After a few minutes of him shaking his head and chanting “I can’t believe this” over & over, I handed him his actual results and said “that’ll teach you to April Fool me again!”

3

Shouldn’t this be an MPSIMS thread?

MODERATOR!!!

Holger

4

Naw, it’s got an actual question in the OP. :smiley:

“We’re gonna have lawyers here. It’ll be a fun time.”
–R.R.S.

5

I got fired by a asshole controller who said I never did anything for the company while he on the other hand continually slept the afternoon away in his locked office when the big boss left. On the day of the firing, I hung out across the street until his appointed naptime then picked his lock and began filling regular 12 ounce plastic cups from the break room to the brim with water and putting them along every square inch of the floor. By the time I was done there was no way he would have been able to move. The fatass slept right through it too.

After that I called the big boss and told him there was a office emergency and to come right back.

Now imagine this (and from what I heard from friends it happened). The boss walks in on fatass who is probably sleeping soundly, with no way to get out of saying he nodded off 2 minutes ago (his excuse I hear) but surrounded by large red cups of water filled to the brim that would take a hour to fill all the open floor in his office.

Revenge is…swwwwwwweeeeeeeeettttttt

Fatass was demoted for sleeping on the job and lost a raise he was trying to get. Probably knows who was responsible too and cannot do anything about it.

6

Genius, Heath. Pure genius!! My hat’s off to you.

All Hail Unca Cecil, or the next best thing available!

7

This topic was done awhile back in the old SDMB and I think it was Kitten that had the most wonderfully evil paybacks:

listed someones phone number in the classifieds to call for the hot concert ticket.

Listed someones house as having a garage sale.

My personal payback was in high school. There was a girl who had skipped two grades and graduated #1 in our class. No one liked her because she glommed onto people and just sucked the life out of them.
(She’s now a bank manager…so that gives you an idea to her personality.)
She hung out with our group of non populars, though none of us liked her, we took her in.

I started taking all the magazine subsription cards for every magazine on the rack and sending them in in her name. Did it for years. Never told a soul about it until this group. God, was it fun to listen to her whine about receiving Soldier of Fortune and Popular Mechanics.

Bigamy is having one wife to many. Monogamy is the same. - Oscar Wilde

8

Real funny. It is worth noting that someone here in Ohio just got arrested and charged with eight felony counts for doing exactly that to two different people. I’m not sure on what strange square planet this is considered “harmless.”

9

In response to your hailing my revenge Olent

Why thank you…someday I must try and use my powers for good rather than evil

10

I’d say you already were, Heath.

Most of my revenge fantasies involve sharp objects so I guess it’s a good thing I’ve never gone through with them…

Cave Diem! Carpe Canem!

11

In our office someone sent out an e-mail last year stating that they felt very patriotic this 4th of July and if anyone saw him in the hall, please stop him and join him in a chorus of “its a grand old flag”. Next day that person sent out an e-mail saying “whoever used my e-mail yesterday, it wasn’t funny”.

In the “some harm done but not too much” category, there’s ordering diapers sent to someone’s house (much funnier than magazines and occasionally they’ll have a free sample promo so no harm really done) or the “Upper Decker”- this one requires access to the toilet tank in their house though.

12

Inquiring minds want to know…what’s the “upper decker”?

13

Back in my pizza days there was a delivery driver who got a whole bunch of “change of address” cards from the post office. If any customer stiffed him on the tip, they would soon find that all their mail had been redirected to a Hari Krishna monastary in Oregon.

14

We’re always playing jokes on one another in the office. I recently placed my hand on a co-workers back. He didn’t notice anything amiss but I had taped a piece of paper to his back saying “call 911” It was pretty funny. A couple of days later, I got a phone call and there was a half chewed piece of gum stuck to the earpiece. Paybacks are hell.
Sandra

Libby’s Mom
Sandra

15

Jeez, mom, at least mention a good one. When she used to work here, it was a man named Craig that she practical joked with. One time (and I’m not sure whose idea this was), they cut out an article from Ohio State’s student newspaper that said “Man Caught Masturbating in Library,” stole Craig’s hospital photo ID, Scotch-taped them together so it looked like the picture and name went with the article, Xeroxed it, and posted the resulting “article” ALL OVER THE PATHOLOGY DEPARTMENT. I actually think she and the other co-conspirators got yelled at for that one (they stuck one in an elevator that patients sometimes rode), but it was worth it, I’d imagine. I was perhaps 12 or 13 when she pulled that trick, and I still get a chuckle thinking about it. There are many more where that one came from, too.

My mom, actually, is probably one of the worst practical jokers on earth. Practically every year on April Fool’s day, she’d wake me up by saying that school was cancelled, before I had a chance to register that it was, in fact, April 1st. Silly, and I know other people whose moms did that as well, but it still sucked. So this year, I decided to get her back. Created a Yahoo mail account using my boyfriend’s name (not that he was my boyfriend at the time, but I had his permission for this one–he drew the line at writing the actual letter, but didn’t mind that I pirated his name and did it), and wrote her an e-mail asking for my hand in marriage. Sad thing is, she actually said yes. I still try to get her to admit that she was inwardly dreading the whole thing, but she won’t. Pride, you know.

16

Upper Decker- Using the toilet tank instead of the toilet bowl for a number two. It starts to really stink after a while and no one thinks to look in the toilet tank.

I think it was “Surfing” magazine that sent a box of complimentary donuts to a rival surfing magazine. A couple of days later they sent a polaroid of them sans pantalons with the donuts pressed up against their nether region.

17

Mojo, the surfing magazine thing sounds a lot like the tourist/thief/toothbrush/camera/rectum UL.

“I wept because I had no shoes, then I met a man with no feet. So I took his shoes” - Dave Barry

18

Since weve drifted somewhat into practical jokes...my favorite ever was when I was an Account Executive...It was the very first beautiful day of Spring. Extra warm for April, sunny...beautiful. We were all on the road, but ocassionally would meet for lunch. Well, about 8 of the guys said, "Lets go play golf!" …and so they did. I saw a few more clients, then back to the office do my paper work. It got late, and there were just a few of us in, a couple of other AE’s & my secretary. I asked her to type up a memo, ostensibly to everyone, but really only to the golfers. “There is a major problem. All AE’s are requiredd to report to (the big boss’s) office for an urgent meeting at 4:00 today. THIS IS MANDATORY! Reschedule any afternoon appiontments . I WILL see you there” ~~ Soon enough, the guys started calling in for messages…When I picked up a call, George asked me to check for any messages… I told him there was a memo in his in-box and that the big guy went ballistic when they didn’t show up at the meeting!Those of us in the office laughed like hell!

But Just WAIT!!!

Next morning, about 7-7:30…all the guys are asking about the meeting, nervous as hell (not to mention a skosh sunburned!) when the second in command, a woman I was very friendly with asked me to come into her office. She shut the door. Ruh-Roh! She holds up the memo. “Did you do this?” she asks. “Yeah”, I say smiling. “I figured I break it off on the guys for golfing.” She said to me, serious as death: “You cannot issue a memo and say it’s from (the big Guy)! This is real bad…serious trouble.” Now, AE’s as a bunch work hard, but play even harder…and we play some rotton pranks on each other–this was tame!-- and this woman, was the biggest joker in the bunch when she was on the road. Well, since I am not the type to do things wrong, I guess I looked like I was going to just die, right there. Then she said, “Hey, I’m just kidding. The guys found out it was you and asked me to help get back at you.” Then we both laughed…I said, “Those SOB’s! Okay. I am going to go back to my office, and when they ask me what you wanted I am going to say I’m leaving, I don’t need this, blah-blah blah…” Then she and I were really laughing. So I did it. Back to my office, grabbed my briefcase, slammed a bunch of desk drawers…the guys kept saying “What’s wrong?” Now THEY looked like they were going to cry. I said, “I’ve got appointments, I’m leaving. Or maybe I’ll just keep driving and never come back to this hell-hole.” And I stormed out.
The guys called me on my car phone ALL day, apologizing, swearing it was just a joke, they’d talk to the boss, was I OK, etc., etc., etc…!

This was a kinda double reverse; everyone got everyone else type of thing. We laughed about it for years…

Back to revenge: My favorite thing I’d like to do, is staple a piece of bacon or a sardine to the underside of my ex’s car seat. Smells like death and it’s REAL hard to find! But I am A CHICKEN, and I guess I’ll never do it. (sigh)
Anyway, I can dream, can’t I?

The Voice

19

Since weve drifted somewhat into practical jokes...my favorite ever was when I was an Account Executive...It was the very first beautiful day of Spring. Extra warm for April, sunny...beautiful. We were all on the road, but ocassionally would meet for lunch. Well, about 8 of the guys said, "Lets go play golf!" …and so they did. I saw a few more clients, then back to the office do my paper work. It got late, and there were just a few of us in, a couple of other AE’s & my secretary. I asked her to type up a memo, ostensibly to everyone, but really only to the golfers. “There is a major problem. All AE’s are requiredd to report to (the big boss’s) office for an urgent meeting at 4:00 today. THIS IS MANDATORY! Reschedule any afternoon appiontments . I WILL see you there” ~~ Soon enough, the guys started calling in for messages…When I picked up a call, George asked me to check for any messages… I told him there was a memo in his in-box and that the big guy went ballistic when they didn’t show up at the meeting!Those of us in the office laughed like hell!

But Just WAIT!!!

Next morning, about 7-7:30…all the guys are asking about the meeting, nervous as hell (not to mention a skosh sunburned!) when the second in command, a woman I was very friendly with asked me to come into her office. She shut the door. Ruh-Roh! She holds up the memo. “Did you do this?” she asks. “Yeah”, I say smiling. “I figured I break it off on the guys for golfing.” She said to me, serious as death: “You cannot issue a memo and say it’s from (the big Guy)! This is real bad…serious trouble.” Now, AE’s as a bunch work hard, but play even harder…and we play some rotton pranks on each other–this was tame!-- and this woman, was the biggest joker in the bunch when she was on the road. Well, since I am not the type to do things wrong, I guess I looked like I was going to just die, right there. Then she said, “Hey, I’m just kidding. The guys found out it was you and asked me to help get back at you.” Then we both laughed…I said, “Those SOB’s! Okay. I am going to go back to my office, and when they ask me what you wanted I am going to say I’m leaving, I don’t need this, blah-blah blah…” Then she and I were really laughing. So I did it. Back to my office, grabbed my briefcase, slammed a bunch of desk drawers…the guys kept saying “What’s wrong?” Now THEY looked like they were going to cry. I said, “I’ve got appointments, I’m leaving. Or maybe I’ll just keep driving and never come back to this hell-hole.” And I stormed out.
The guys called me on my car phone ALL day, apologizing, swearing it was just a joke, they’d talk to the boss, was I OK, etc., etc., etc…!

This was a kinda double reverse; everyone got everyone else type of thing. We laughed about it for years…

Back to revenge: My favorite thing I’d like to do, is staple a piece of bacon or a sardine to the underside of my ex’s car seat. Smells like death and it’s REAL hard to find! But I am A CHICKEN, and I guess I’ll never do it. (sigh)
Anyway, I can dream, can’t I?

The Voice

20

Vengence! How sweet it is!
My all time favorite ( I have a lot- I used to be quite a bitch)
My friend is renting a basement apartment from this drunken old jerk, who- after she refused his sexual advances- kicked her out- no notice! Well, he gave her two days to get her stuff out. Soooo…first- she was already getting ants in the place- there was a ground level window where they all seemed to be coming in, so I made a mixture of dissolved sugar and hard candy, put it in a spray bottle and sprayed it on every surface in the place…I imagine it was good and infested quickly. Later in the week we got drunk and mad, so we took a super soaker, filled it with RoundUp (weed/grass/plant killer) and super soaked his prize flower beds (which he made her weed all the time). It was big fun, and we did it at night (kinda like a mission impossible thing). We drove by a few days later to check it out, and it was better then we imagined. Ahhhh- sweet vengence!

“Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?”- The Man with Two Brains