I'm Satan at the moment

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Hi, I’m Satan at this point in time and I know the secrets of life.

THE LAW OF REALITY
EVERYTHING happens for a Good logical reason.

The secret of eternal life on earth is to not break any commandments in the Bible, tempt others, be selfish, don’t pay for things with money, don’t manipulate people, be imperfect and believe and preach the LIE of materialism.

Anyone want to be my servant or be another Satan?

2

I have to be Satan and be imperfect otherwise I’ll leave the physical world and go back to the spiritual world.

BTW, am I allowed to give out my contact details? I have faith that the Illuminati will protect me.

3

Beavis: Is that supposed to be Satan?
Butt-Head: I’ve seen scarier Satans in a Mister Big video.

4

Are you unhappy with life, do you want your wildest dreams to come true?

5

I don’t want to scare people.

6

You’re not Satan, he got banned. That said, do go on, Mr. Clay.

7

Ye of little faith. If you have the faith of a mustard seed you can say to a mountain to throw itself into the sea or something.

8

Advice to would-be Satan’s - stay out of the Sun or you beauty will disappear.

9

Are you Gunnar Nelson?

You’re on the right.

10

Is everyone here PERFECTLY happy? Note that the solution might involve risking your mental, physical, and spiritual health.

11

Are you off your meds or somethin’? Just wondering.

12

No. Do people want to know my REAL name? If moderators say so I can give it out.

13

No I’m on 100mg zoloft and 15mg of abilify.

14

Funny, that.

15

Alright. If you are claiming to be the Prince of Darkness, or the Great Deceiver, or Beelzebub or something, you gotta drop some knowledge here that is frickin’ off the HOOK! Fo’ shizzle!

Otherwise, you’re just an attention whore.

Go.

16

Can we guess again?

Are you Starr Jones?

17

I’m locking this one, even though I’m not the Mod for this forum.

A previous thread from yesterday http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=8196317#post8196317
indicates that the OP was told not to do this again. but he does have a

Whatever the reason, this will be taken up shortly with a discussion amongst mods/Admins.

samclem