Attention Theists!!!! I Am Going To Bet My Life That God Does Not Exist!!!

Great Debates
1

I am starting a new thread in connection with this thread about what it would take to make an atheist believe.

It is really a sidebar to the other thread, but since I am willing to lay my life on the line, I think SD can indulge me with my own thread on this one.

I hereby invite God, if he exists, to kill me in the space of the next hour. He has my permission, and in fact, I dare him to! I double-dog dare him to.

Look, I am pushing 60 and He is allegedly omnipotent. How hard can it be? One little heart attack, or something. I am here alone. Nobody comes home until after 5:00 p.m.

How will we know if it worked? Because I intend to sign out at the end of this message. In precisely one hour, I will sign in again. Synchonize your watches. It is 10:14 Eastern Standard Time. God, or Allah, or whatever, has one hour to prove He exists by killling me. If I am alive, I will sign in to this thread in exactly one hour, at 11:14 EST.

If I do not sign in, you will know that God has spoken (and acted)…

So right now I sign off (drum roll).

Dear friends, in one hour, I will see you on the web or I will be roasting in Hell.

2

Damn, what a foolproof plan - with no possible weaknesses. If only someone had thought of it earlier.

I look forward to the next hour in which this question will be entirely and comprehensively answered.

3

God wouldn’t do that, he loves you!

-Joe

4

I’m a little nervous. If he does happen to die, we’re all going to look really silly. :frowning:

The flaw in your bet is that you might die in the next hour, and it still wouldn’t have anything to do with God.

5

I had the same idea with selling my soul to the devil. Still waiting for him to show up too.

6

Great. Now some theist is going to come over and kill you just to prove a point.

7

Wow you have to be the bravest being in all of the history of all of the dimensions.

8

Is that the best you can do?

9

If you actually do die, can I have your stuff?

10

Who do yo think is running this show anyway?!?! You can put in a petition to God and He may entertain it, but it is the other way around, God orders you not the other way around.

[QUOTE=Matthew 4:7 - NIV]

Jesus answered him, "It is also written: ‘Do not put the Lord your God to the test.’ "
[/QUOTE]

11

Monotheism is not the only alternative to atheism. Perhaps the gods on Mount OIympus are right now arguing about Valteron’s challenge. Mars wants to kill him anyway (he’s like that), but Aphrodite is winning with her argument that killing Valteron would just be a win for those new-fangled monotheistic religions.

12

[QUOTE=Valteron]
How will we know if it worked? Because I intend to sign out at the end of this message. In precisely one hour, I will sign in again. Synchonize your watches. It is 10:14 Eastern Standard Time. God, or Allah, or whatever, has one hour to prove He exists by killling me. If I am alive, I will sign in to this thread in exactly one hour, at 11:14 EST.
[/QUOTE]
How will we know it’s you who’s signed back in and not some creature from the outer void inhabiting the husk left behind when you were smited?

13

[QUOTE=Pleonast]
… you were smited?
[/QUOTE]

Nitpick: the past participle is “smitten”, though there is a tendency for rarely used irregular verbs to regularise :slight_smile:

14

[QUOTE=Valteron]
I am starting a new thread in connection with this thread about what it would take to make an atheist believe.

It is really a sidebar to the other thread, but since I am willing to lay my life on the line, I think SD can indulge me with my own thread on this one.

I hereby invite God, if he exists, to kill me in the space of the next hour. He has my permission, and in fact, I dare him to! I double-dog dare him to.

Look, I am pushing 60 and He is allegedly omnipotent. How hard can it be? One little heart attack, or something. I am here alone. Nobody comes home until after 5:00 p.m.

How will we know if it worked? Because I intend to sign out at the end of this message. In precisely one hour, I will sign in again. Synchonize your watches. It is 10:14 Eastern Standard Time. God, or Allah, or whatever, has one hour to prove He exists by killling me. If I am alive, I will sign in to this thread in exactly one hour, at 11:14 EST.

If I do not sign in, you will know that God has spoken (and acted)…

So right now I sign off (drum roll).

Dear friends, in one hour, I will see you on the web or I will be roasting in Hell.
[/QUOTE]

Do not test the Lord your God in vain. :eek:

He’s not gonna listen to your double dog dare.

15

[george carlin]

In fact, I’ll prove it! If God does exist – may he strike this audience dead!

[/gc]

16

[QUOTE=Giles]
Monotheism is not the only alternative to atheism. Perhaps the gods on Mount OIympus are right now arguing about Valteron’s challenge.
[/QUOTE]

That is a good point, Valteron you did not say who is your ‘God’, if you are a atheist your god is probably yourself, which you are inviting you to kill yourself, certainly within your power - but I can’t recommend it. Lets see how well your god complies with your demand.

17

Plus, God has a really crappy watch:

“But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day. The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.” (II Peter 3:8-9)

And, he does not wish that any should perish, so your plan has a couple flaws.

18

holy crap! Valteron never logged on again… I wonder if he dropped dead! :eek:

19

[QUOTE=JohnnyEnigma]
holy crap! Valteron never logged on again… I wonder if he dropped dead! :eek:
[/QUOTE]

He has 10 minutes left, simmer down! We are all in suspense!

20

He’s probably on the toilet reading the newspaper having totally forgotten about this thread.