It has been years since my wife and I watched the station almost religiously. When we gave up our cable HGTV was one of the stations we thought we’d miss, but turns out we really didn’t.
We were at a friend’s house recently who had her TV tuned to the station. Every so often I’d look over and House Hunters would be on, every time. It was either House Hunters, House Hunters International, or Hawaii Life, which is just House Hunters but in Hawaii. I finally asked our friend if there was some kind of marathon going on there. She said no, HGTV has other programs, it just seems like a lot of House Hunters to us because we don’t watch much TV anymore. Really?
We were at our friend’s house for over three hours and House Hunters was on the entire time. Even the promos during the commercials were for House Hunters. It certainly seemed to us that HGTV had become the House Hunters station.
If it’s been awhile since you’ve seen it, here’s what you need to know:
[ul]
[li]Counters must be made of granite[/li][li]Walk-in closets get claimed by the wife; the husband has to use a different one[/li][li]The wall colors are hideous - we must not buy this house![/li][li]We need space for our dogs/large parties/three cars[/li][li]The back yard is either too big or too small[/li][li]A young couple can swing a $600,000 mortgage[/li][li]An older couple needs a $600,000 “vacation” home[/li][li]Yadda yadda yadda[/li][/ul]
So you see, you haven’t missed anything lately.
Don’t forget
[ul]
[li]Natural light[/li][li]Man cave[/li][li]Family of 3 that needs 5 bedrooms and 37,000 sq ft.[/li][/ul]
Yeah, I quit watching - the whole channel just ticked me off.
*There has to be a wall for the guy’s 98" TV and he won’t shut up about it.
*The appliances MUST be stainless steel, because, you know, stainless steel.
The people on these shows make me nuts, which I guess is supposed to be part of the charm (?) of it. We saw one recently where the guy insisted that his wife was all about the decor, but that he was into the “science”. It turned out that his idea of science was to ask about the price to calculate the $/sq. in., which had already been done by the realtor. Also, astute observations like “It’s on the third floor” or “So there are 2.5 bathrooms.” Real scientific, moron.
I like the show about people tackling renovations, but having almost zero knowledge as to what goes into it. If you’ve ever worked in construction, it’s the funniest show on the air right now. I like seeing the problem coming before they encounter it.
I chuckle when I see them sitting at a bar/ eatery making the decision of their life based on 3 frigging homes!!!
If only that was reality.
My favorite international one was a home in Israel.
This rabbi’s wife had 600,000 as a budget, 5 kids, the husband was no where to be found and the house she found in the Jewish Quarter was AMAZING!! Shabbat Shalom it was a mega mansion with 3 floors.
The next one was a single girl in tel -Aviv ready to emerge herself in Jewish culture.
Every apt had a bomb shelter and gas masks.
I guess Jeruselem was at peace and Tel Aviv hadn’t gotten the memo from Bibi!!!
Well, technically I think you can remove load bearing walls, as long as you engineer some kind of replacement (teleposts and a beam or something). You don’t just take a sledgehammer to them and call it good, though.
Yeah, “open concept” is all the rage now. Our house is not open concept, and I like it just fine. How do I explain - you can go in a circle around our living room, kitchen, and dining room, but there is still an L-shaped wall there. I don’t need it any opener than that.
We’re also going to buy a new fridge and dishwasher soon - they’re going to be white. I know, I can hear your gasps from here.
Don’t forget that there can’t be any stairs, because the toddlers will fall and kill themselves. AND of course, they will remain toddlers forever. And the kids’ and parents’ bedrooms have to be right next to each other, which guarantees the kids will witness the Primal Scene sooner or later.
I live in a Craftsman with lots of little rooms with doors that close. This is essential when I have to put the kittens in a time-out (or kill them) or shut all the animals out of my office when I’m working on a deadline.
What do you mean that houses built 100-200 years ago don’t have built in closets, laundry rooms, four bathrooms and large bedrooms?! I want charm, but it has to be like my house in Houston.
That fridge is so small! How am I supposed to stuff it full of food for a week? Geez, now I have to go the market a block away every day and buy fresh food instead? And the oven is too tiny to make that turkey I bake once a year!
I want to live in the middle of the action, steps from the bars and restaurants - but gee, it is so loud here and no parking and what do you mean it costs more than $300 a month to live here? Maybe you can find me an apartment directly on the beach instead - but only if it is fully furnished - then I might be able to up my budget to $350, assuming parking is also included and there is a pool.
Now that I am moving here lock stock and barrel and clueless, I guess I should learn some customs and maybe try some words in that language. Hardly anyone but my realtor speaks English worth shit.
I know I am living alone and don’t have a job yet, but I really need four bedrooms - one for yoga and the others for all the friends who swore they will come to visit. Better to pay $3000 extra per month than have to put them up in a hotel for a week.
Sure I can afford to buy a house for just under a million dollars - all I need is my laptop and I can work anywhere! Isn’t that how everybody lives? Making millions writing blogs?
There have been a few HHI episodes set locally, the one I remember best the houses they were looking at where so, so, so, so far out of normal. It would be like a 10 million dollar house in Houston, and the hilarious thing was they kept saying they were doing it so their kids could soak up local culture!
Our kitchen/living room/dining room rotates around the fireplace, which is also the main load-bearing wall. The kitchen looks into the dining room. There’s a doorway-without-the-door that peekaboos into the kitchen or living room, depending on where you are. Our house was built in the 1920s. This was their version of open concept
You may now gasp at my almost-brand-new white washer with an agitator
Serious reason - first of all, no-one expects missiles to fall on the Old City of Jerusalem. Too many Muslims, too many Muslim holy sites.
Second of all, it’s a matter of building codes. New buildings need to have bomb shelters or safe rooms, while older buildings without them are grandfathered in. My apartment building here in Tel Aviv, which is from the 1930’s, has no protected areas.
House Hunters may have made my husband and I too confident about our ability to find a nice house at a real steal, when we start looking. We don’t need stainless steel OR granite! We’ll have the pick of the crop!
Selling our house, on the other hand, worries us. White appliances and Corian you know.
One thing not mentioned yet is that House Hunters is super fake. The people have already bought a house and they’re just going through the motions for the TV show. Sometimes the other houses they look at aren’t even on the market, but belong to friends. Someone that was on the show wrote a long blog post about the experience a year or so back.
I will turn HGTV on Saturday morning and watch it all the livelong day while I do the chores. It is irritating when people are looking at houses outside their budget, or they don’t have the same priorities as me, and I know it’s fake, but I don’t care. I just want to look at other people’s houses!
