The bTruth About NASA's Moon Exploration!!!

CalMeacham · February 18, 2015, 3:53pm

Ooooo-kayyyyyyyy.
I’d be less concerned about this, but it appears in the freakin’ Washington Post. And it’s not April 1.

By Sasha Volokh February 17 at 11:59 AM 
I see that NASA has proposed sending a submarine to Saturn’s moon Titan to explore its seas. Maybe this is a good idea in theory, but I don’t know if I trust NASA on this one:

(1) It’s not widely appreciated that these are the same guys who made our own Moon into a lifeless rock by removing all the lifeforms that existed on it.

(2) Also, priorities! NASA scientists are already aware of a planet entirely populated by robots… why aren’t we exploring that one? Public can’t handle that knowledge?

The robotic planet angle has already been covered elsewhere, so let me just focus on the Moon issue for now. I don’t see how this doesn’t get more play — unlike the standard conspiracies, this is supported by verifiable fact!

Fact: About 46 years ago, NASA detected two lifeforms on the Moon. These lifeforms were able to use sophisticated technology, as NASA could easily verify from their audio and video transmissions that we intercepted. I’ve actually seen the video, and the beings seemed humanoid to me, but quite frankly, I think it’s hard to say for sure because of the bulky protective shielding they were wearing at all times.

Fact: What did NASA do? Stuck these lifeforms onto a rocket and brought them to Earth! NASA did the same thing five more times over the next 3.5 years and brought back ten similar lifeforms. Every time NASA has detected lifeforms on the Moon — every single time — they’ve removed them from the Moon and shipped them to Earth. Those might have been the twelve only lifeforms to have existed on the Moon — intelligent, technologically sophisticated lifeforms — and now the Moon is barren! (As far as we know. Could there be more such lifeforms evading detection? I’m just asking.)

Fact: NASA conducted tests on them and then released them to live among us! They’ve been living among us for decades! The first lifeform ever detected on the Moon died a couple of years ago, and a couple more have also died over this time.
Now these guys want to mess up Titan? Where’s the outrage???

According to Wikipedia, The Volokh Conspiracy is a blog that’s been around since 2002. It’s been carried by the Washington Post since last year. Its members all seem to be law professors from Emory, and they mainly argue about legal weirdness.

Their earlier forays into the topic of the Moon seem to concern Property Rights there, and whether NASA ought to be spending government money to build a base there. This piece is either a straight-faced protest in the form of conspiracy theory whackiness, or else it really is unadulterated Conspiracy Theory Whackiness. I don’t know enough about them to distinguish. I’m just amazed that this is in the Post.

Anybody know anything about this?

TriPolar · February 18, 2015, 3:56pm

It’s obviously satire. There were two life forms on the Moon and we did bring them back to Earth. Why it’s being published is beyond me since many people won’t get the joke.

CalMeacham · February 18, 2015, 4:04pm

That would be consistent with the twelve astronauts who have walked on the moon (2 X 1 + “five more times”). But again, why?

Maybe they couldn’t wait for April?

flight · February 18, 2015, 4:18pm

And the robot planet is Mars. The robots are the ones we sent there. I thought it was cute.

Just_Asking_Questions · February 18, 2015, 4:19pm

I have to admit, it’s a clever piece. It never says anything that’s not true, but what it “says” is as far from the truth as you can get.

I like the “planet of robots”!

but yea, publishing it in the Post is weird. People won’t get the joke.

Robot_Arm · February 18, 2015, 4:30pm

It does sound nice, doesn’t it.

Just_Asking_Questions · February 18, 2015, 4:34pm

I think you’re biased.

Whiskey_Dickens · February 18, 2015, 4:49pm

Oh thank god. I was baffled and saddened by the article, thinking it was serious.
I need my satire detector recalibrated!

CalMeacham · February 18, 2015, 6:03pm

I’m still baffled by it. The “robot planet” thing was clear as soon as you clicked the link. But I still have to ask what the heck the point is.

TriPolar · February 18, 2015, 6:20pm

“The Volokh Conspiracy - Mostly law professors, blogging about whatever we want since 2002”

That helps explain it. The guys phone number and email are on this page. You could just ask him. Your email address would probably get his attention.

CalMeacham · February 18, 2015, 6:26pm

It does? How? Are law professor noted for this?

Besides, I noted that they were law professors from Emory in the OP.

The_Joker_and_the_Thief · February 18, 2015, 6:30pm

I’ve been reading Volokh for some time, and they like doing stuff like this. Their dedicated audience is pretty highbrow, since their content is pretty dry, but one consequence of being on the WP network is that some of their stories blow up and get a lot more visibility. This is one of them, and I thought it was pretty funny.

TriPolar · February 18, 2015, 6:35pm

No reason a law professor can’t want to blog about nonsense like this. I assume these guys submit their articles and they end up on the web. I doubt anyone at the Post is reading the articles carefully. What editor wants to argue with a law professor? I think it’s just misplaced satire, although maybe he’s got some kind of point I’m totally missing (along with everyone else so far).

Battle_Pope · February 18, 2015, 9:36pm

Fry: So let me get this straight. This planet is completely uninhabited?
Bender: No, it’s inhabited by robots.
Fry: Oh, kinda like how a warehouse is inhabited by boxes.

Andy_L · February 19, 2015, 12:11am

I think this is very funny - a great example of how true statements can end up being very misleading. The only thing the author missed is noting that one of the lifeforms released on Earth has attacked a human Bart Sibrel - Wikipedia

Derleth · February 19, 2015, 1:16am

nm

Omar_Little · February 19, 2015, 7:52pm

One of the recovered lifeforms infiltrated one of the highest branches of the US government.

HelenGawn · February 21, 2015, 1:16am

She’s in on the conspiracy! She didn’t even mention Comet of the Robots! (Well, just the one - that we know of.)

davidm · February 21, 2015, 2:52am

Only because the human insisted that the lifeform hadn’t really been brought here from the Moon. Plus the human was bigger than the lifeform and was standing very close shouting and waving an object at the lifeform, which no doubt caused the lifeform to feel threatened and lash out according to it’s instincts.

davidm · February 21, 2015, 2:54am

What’s a “bTruth”? Is that a Lunarian word?