chique, yeah, my personal day of death according to the death clock is Wednesday, March 23, 2038.
1,206,048,289 seconds from…now.
That’s if all is normal. There are two other settings on the Deathclock.
Pessimistic: Monday, March 12, 2029. 889,564,971 seconds to go.
Sadistic: Saturday, March 23, 2002. 38,438,462 seconds left.
Still, guess tonight is not the night.
Oh yeah, and the only thing I’ve got against your contemplating the beauty of the snow is that is fine on the weekends/holidays. But when Tuesday rolls around and you’re trying to figure out how to unstick your hand from the windshield you were scraping ice of off because you’ve got to get to work…I bet you’re not thinking how beautiful all that snow is.
And while you’re doing that, I’ll be driving to work with my windows down, enjoying the warm weather and sunshine.
Dude! This means you’ll off yourself the day before my 50th birthday! Like, no way!
Hey, if you want to off yourself quick, and try an experiment for me. I have some Castor beans here. I want to see how effective ricin is on your system. If that doesnt work, maybe I can find some Sophora beans instead (pretty red color!) ?
No, I kid. Why do I kid? Because, despite the fear that hangs over my head like the sword of Damocles, i do Like you.
Well, since you like me, I guess I could postpone it a day. What time do you open presents? I could do it right afterwards and then everybody can have cake.
**
No, that doesn’t really work for me. If I’m gonna do it, it’s got to be done with style. So people will say, “boy that’s sad, but what brilliance!”
My current favorite is to bungie dive off the Golden Gate Bridge. With the bungie around my neck, of course. That should stop traffic, eh?
Hey man, i was wondering, seeing as you’re in a bit of a hurry to do the deed and all.
Do leap years make you feel cheated? I mean, you’ve got a date and everything all set for this, but every four years you’re going to be handed an extra day and there’s not a bloody thing you can do about it…
Damn. To tell you the truth Upham, I hadn’t considered it before. I always thought that I’d have things all taken care of well before February. After checking the DeathClock to be sure, my plans had to change.
Now that I’ve considered this, yeah, I am pissed off. I mean, really! What’s up with that? I haven’t gotten an actual count, but that does add 9 or 10 days to the whole schedule.
Hmmmm…OK, Leap Year Day is now added to the official list of Days in the Life of Crack’dOff that Suck:
Christmas
Christmas Eve
Day After Christmas
July 9.
Thanksgiving Weekend
August 5.
March 31.
The second Tuesday in September. But only if there’s a full moon.
The 3rd, 7th, and 19th of April
The day after the winter solstice
I dont know about you man, but i’m getting really sick of watching a computer tell me when i’m gonna die…
Then i realise that at any moment i can take the computer outside and smash the living fuck out of it, and then IT will die.
And this makes me feel somewhat better, because now i know the computer goes through the same thing as me every time it sees me, and i’d like to think i’m slowly driving it insane.
