The rules are: You state two very bad things. The next poster has to choice which of those things he’d rather do. Then he gives two more things, and the next poster posts which he’d rather do, and so forth. And you can’t choose to die instead, hence the game name. I’ll start:
Would you rather:
Be sodomized by the entire LA police department or
Perform oral sex on Fred Phelps
Perform oral sex on Fred Phelps (VERY drunk)
Watch a marathon of Madonna movies or
Attend every boy band concert
Watch a marathon of Madonna movies (there weren’t that many, fortunately)
or
Cow snot.
Watch Steel Magnolias in a theater full of PMSing Southern women and comment loudly and often that “Chick movies suck balls!”
or
Listen to the audio book of War and Peace read by Fran Drescher
Watch Magnolias.
Guzzle a bucket of smegma…
OR:
Watch a remake of Waterworld starring Elvira.
A hundred times in fifty days.
Waterworld
Playfully jiggle Robin Leech’s man-teats to the strains of Mambo # 5
~or~
Return your next movie to the video store during the rush period completely nude?
Jiggle Leach’s man boobs
Have Rosanne sit on your face for 5 hours after she has finished a huge bowl of chili with extra peppers and onions
Or
Attend a 2 week long conference of lectures, where the lecturers are Jerry Falwell, Fred Phelps, Pat Roberston, Michael Savage and Benny Hinn. (Note: You may not fall asleep during any lecture, in fact you must take notes.)
Lectures
======
Eat the waste from your city for a week
Or
Go without the SDMB forever.
I’ll take the lectures. Know Thine Enemy.
–
Teach 8th grade remedial math for a week
OR
Be a corporate drone for a year without making any disparaging comments about your cow-orkers, your immediate boss, or the CEO.
8th Grade remedial math.
Felch an entire herd of sheep that’s just been visited by Texas’ Death row - without a straw.
or
Yell, “Jerry Falwell was right about Muhammad!!” in downtown Teran.
<minor hijack>
Sluggy Freelance did something like this waaay back when.
“Locusts or frogs?”
“Frogs.”
“Famine or leprosy?”
“Famine.”
“Paparazzi or telemarketers?”
“DEATH!”
“Okay, we’re in agreement then.”
</minor hijack>
Yell Jerry falwell was right!(with a tank!)
Be forced to each type of sadomasochistic sex in every way imaginable by The Jack Chick god.
Drown in semen,menstrual fluids,each type of ejaculate, feces, and urine.
Yellow flag…
hebesphenomegacorona, your post is disqualified. Remember death is not an option, this means none of the activities involve death.
I will pick up with sivispacem’s post. I would choose to yell Falwell was right. Can I say it in Norwegian?
Castration
or
Sexual gratification every waking minute of the day.
[hijack]
Isn’t there some kind of book out along similar lines?
[/hijack]
F_X
Lucky for you I’m male, racer72, so I can answer your question. Castration.
Identifiable pictures of you fellating Dick Cheney circulating the Internet, which will eventually be uncovered by all your friends, family, and enemies.
OR
Getting pegged in the ass by Hillary Clinton in the middle of Times Square on New Year’s Eve.
Getting nailed by Hilary. At least I agree with her politics.
Get smashed on the head with a two-by four wrapped in barbed wire on a Japanese wrestling program.
OR
Attend a triple feature showing of Crossroads, Kangaroo Jack and Battlefield Earth while wearing nothing but a bikini made of steel wool.
The movie marathon - but only because the bikini thing sounds intriguingly kinky…
Standing up in a crowd of staunch democrats and being required to yell “There ARE WMD’s in Iraq, just like the president said” for 24 hours straight.
or
Being REQUIRED to install each and every AOL CD that arrives in the mail.
I’ll take the AOL cd… we don’t get any of those over here yet smirk
Amputuate your own arm with a rusty and blunt multitool
Or
Be tied up, disembowelled, and left for wildlife to eat chunks out of while still alive (a la Promethius)
Phraser, wouldn’t that kill you? “Death is not an option!”
Yeah Phrasers options are disqualified so I’ll pick up the one before him.
Share every single thought you have with everyone around you for a month straight.
-or-
Be completely nude for a whole month, everywhere you went, work, shopping, family dinners etc…