I got the following e-mail. I claims to be actual ads taken from various newspapers. Dunno if they are all true, but they are funny. YMMV.
FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL- 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR’S DOG
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD, UNPLEASANT LITTLE DOG
1 MAN, 7 WOMAN HOT TUB - $850/ offer
AMANA WASHER $100. OWNED BY CLEAN BACHELOR WHO SELDOM WASHED
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SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE… ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS
FREE PUPPIES…PART GERMAN SHEPHERD - PART DOG
2 WIRE MESH BUTCHERING GLOVES: 1 5-finger, 1 3-finger, PAIR $15
TICKLE ME ELMO, STILL IN BOX, COMES WITH IT’S OWN 1988 MUSTANG, 5L, AUTO, EXCELLENT CONDITION $6800
COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED… ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE
83 TOYOTA HUNCHBACK - $2000
STAR WARS JOB OF THE HUT - $15
SOFT & GENITAL BATH TISSUES OR FACIAL TISSUE 89 cents
GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED, SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE
FULL SIZED MATTRESS 30 YR WARRANTY LIKE NEW. SLIGHT URINE SMELL
FREE 1 CAN OF PORK & BEANS WITH PURCHASE OF 3 BR 2 BATH HOME
FOR SALE: LEE MAJORS (6 MILLION DOLLAR MAN) - $50
NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED ************* CALL CHUBBIE ************
BILL’S SEPTIC CLEANING “WE HAUL AMERICAN MADE PRODUCTS”
SHAKESPEARE’S PIZZA - FREE CHOPSTICKS
FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG LOOKS LIKE A RAT. BEEN OUT AWHILE… BETTER BE REWARD
HUMMELS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER “IF IT’S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT”
GET A LITTLE JOHN: THE TRAVELING URINAL HOLDS 2 1/2 BOTTLES OF BEER.
HARRISBURG POSTAL EMPLOYEES GUN CLUB
GEORGIA PEACHES CALIFORNIA GROWN 89 cents lb.
NICE PARACHUTE - NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE SLIGHTLY STAINED
FREE FARM KITTENS. READY TO EAT.
AMERICAN FLAG 60 STARS - POLE INCLUDED $100
TIRED OF WORKING FOR ONLY $9.75 PER HOUR? WE OFFER PROFIT SHARING AND FLEXIBLE HOURS. STARTING PAY: $7 - $9 PER HOUR
NOTICE: TO THE PERSON OR PERSONS WHO TOOK THE LARGE PUMPKIN ON HIGHWAY 87 NEAR SOUTHRIDGE STORAGE. PLEASE RETURN THE PUMPKIN AND BE CHECKED. PUMPKIN MAY BE RADIOACTIVE. ALL OTHER PLANTS IN VICINITY ARE DEAD
EXERCISE EQUIPMENT: QUEEN SIZE MATTRESS & BOX SPRINGS - $175
OUR SOFA SEATS THE WHOLE MOB AND IT’S MADE OF 100% ITALIAN LEATHER
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER AND DRYER $300
LAWYER SAYS CLIENT IS NOT THAT GUILTY
ALZHEIMER’S CENTER PREPARES FOR AN AFFAIR TO REMEMBER
GROUND BEAST: 99 cents lb.
GAS CLOUD CLEARS OUT TACO BELL.
BAR S SLICED BALOGNA REGULAR OR TASTY SAVE 30 CENTS ON 2
OPEN HOUSE BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON FREE COFFEE AND DONUTS
KELLOG’S POT TARTS - $1.99 box
FULLY COOKED BONELESS SMOKED MAN - $2.09 lb
FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000.00 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows everything