That’s probably exactly what I meant. But it’s not as fun as making up a new word! 
How about:
16 or more items?
Go ahead, make my day!
It doesn’t add to the time because of the extra 5 items so much. It adds to the time because of the entire extra person in the line ahead of you. If the store figures that 5% of the customers will use the express, but we end up with 10% of the customers, because shitheads think the rules apply to other people, that adds the time to the process.
And while we’re on the subject, what is the point of express lines anyway? What kind of a business model is it that lets people say, “I’m hardly buying anything here, could I have special treatment?”. If I were king of the grocery store you’d have to use the ten items or fewer line if you didn’t have more than ten, and it would be staffed by a half blind arthritic octogenarian so starved for human contact that he or she would prolong any interaction to the point of despair. If people complained, I’d say, “Buy some more shit, cocksuckers and get into the regular lanes, I’m not in business for my health.”.
Is a coupon an “item”?
It takes just as long to scan a coupon as it does a product, but you don’t have to bag it. Someone with 15 items plus 15 coupons takes almost as long as someone with 30 items.
Thank you!
This is very true- if you see a business is completely chock-full of customers and is chronically understaffed GO SOMEWHERE ELSE OR COME BACK LATER!. Do NOT whinge to the check-out staff about how “You guys should have some more lanes open”- there’s nothing the staff can do about it, especially if Head Office is wringing their hands with glee over all this extra money they’re making without having to pay for “extra” staff.
Last year, there were some “temporary” wage cuts at the store I was in. The store manager wanted to go all out and show HQ how great we were managing anyway, despite the cut-backs. I warned him not to, since HQ would simply turn around and say “You’re doing so well with your current wages, you don’t need the extra money”. Sure enough, he gave 110% effort, did lots of extra work, and kept trying to motivate an increasingly demotivated staff.
Sure enough, when the “Temporary” period of wage cut-backs was supposed to be over, HQ sent the next round of wage budgets through. I still remember the manager standing next to the fax machine with the print-out in his hand, the looking up at me and saying sadly “You were right, you know.”
You guys are so silly. Yeah, I know that we apparently have come to Jesus on the whole less/fewer debate. That was part of the joke. There has been some contentious dialogue 'lo these many years around here, so I thought I’d make light. That, and I was post #10, so double funny!
Sometimes the jokes are just for me.
Would an under-ripe watermelon be acceptable? 
I vote for a coconut.
But it’s so easy to remember! If you can count them it’s fewer, if you have to weigh them it’s less. It’s just like the difference between boogers and snot. You can count boogers, but you have to weigh snot.
They don’t do that at the stores here any more. The cashiers will run the identical items over the scanner one by one by one. Presumably it is at store direction as mentioned by an earlier poster, because you have to think it is an annoyance to the cashier.
Well, in their defense, supermarkets have an extremely high rate of variation in customer density. Most people do their shopping before work, after work or on weekends; if the local Market Basket had to have enough lanes and checkers to negate the 2pm-on-Sunday-rush, they’d have to have at least twice as many registers and most of the time they’d be sitting idle since there’s only about 3 lanes worth of business on, say, Wednsday afternoon (actually the local Market Basket could probably save money by only being open 7-10AM and 4-9PM on weekdays).
JRB
Market Basket?! You guys still have Market Basket up there?! Holy hell, I haven’t heard that name in just about forever! The store around the corner when I was a kid was Market Basket, and as far as I knew, it went the way of the dodo when I was about 8 or 9.
Good place, that.
If you can stand a little small town aww…
We had an old collie when I was a kid. His name was Noah. Greatest. Dog. Ever. Hands down. Well, Noah never could stomach a thunderstorm. As an aside, San Bernardino used to get those pretty regularly, and I haven’t seen a good one in years…freakin’ global warming! Anyway, Noah’s M.O. would be to escape the back yard and run to Market Basket to wait it out in the produce department. Pretty often on a rainy day, someone over there would call us up and let us know that Noah was visiting. My folks were on a first name basis with all the cashiers there and most of the rest of the workers, so without even looking at his tag, they knew the drill. Everybody loved Noah.
sniff
This dip in nostalgia was brought to you by Market Basket!
One unusual twist on this point: I had the experience the other day of being at Walmart. Around here, Walmart has recently moved to an Express Checkout “zone” of about 10 tills that have one single queue, and the shopper is directed to the next available till. The Express is for 10 or fewer items. They then also have the normal array of checkouts for shoppers with more than 10 items in their cart.
So there I was at Walmart on a Saturday afternoon, and yep, it was pretty busy, which I expected going in. So what’s my point? The person responsible for allocating staff had every single Express checkout till open, and only 3 of the “regular” lines. It was actually almost funny because it was so odd. For the “reguar” checkout lines, shppers were lined up 1/2 way across Walmart (not kidding) it was like Christmas level lines, only worse. And hey, I did have a pretty good conversation with the woman in front of me in line with each of us having more than 10 but fewer than 15 items in our carts. Anyway, my point about this all is, that this is not exactly an optimal allocation of resources and it was something that was within the store’s more immediate control.
This has happened to me more times than I care to count. It really does make me feel badly, even though the checker is the one who called me over.
Didn’t Wal-Mart get bought out by E-Mart?
Here is an interesting bit about the word less:
From the same link, a note on usage:
Seems to me that 10 items or less is perfectly acceptable.
Because many grocery chains (mine included) use automated replenishment. If the inventory system thinks that we sold a case of peach when it was really 5 of peach and 7 of blueberry, then it will order a case of peach but no blueberry. We are permitted to use the quantity key, but we must be absolutely certain they are the same. As the items are usually mixed on the belt, we usually just scan it. It would take longer to sort then count them than it does to just scan them.
As far as 10 or less, it’s easy:
Each item counts as one item. The only exception to this is produce items: Each bag of identical (identical – Braeburn and Fuji apples in the same bag are TWO items*) produce is 1 item. This is because the cashier will ring the bag up all at once. If it’s a weighted item, he’ll take the tare off the bag and then type in the PLU for it (f’rinstance, 1 TARE 4012 ENTER to ring up a bag of navel oranges.) If it’s sold by eaches, then the cashier will use the quantity key and the PLU (4 QTY 4062 ENTER for 4 regular cucumbers). If you’re one of those who chooses not to use a produce bag thereby causing us to chase your apples hither and yon around the checkstand, then you need to get out of the express lane because then five apples count as five items, because we can’t handle them as a single unit.
Also, no checks means no checks and that includes WIC, TYVM.
*This practice is especially irritating, because we have to dig out each different variety to ring them up. And if you think we don’t know that green peppers are significantly cheaper than red, yellow, and orange, you’re stupid. If you think you’re the first person to ever put them in the same bag hoping we’d just ring it up as green peppers, you’re crazy.
Safeway (at least the one near me) does enforce it. I’ve seen cashiers turn people away with full carts, saying something like, “I’m sorry, this is the express lane. You need to get in the next lane.”
I love Safeway.
Point well taken, but I think you missed Martini’s. 
Right; this is the problem in a nutshell. If a customer visits the local Safeway at 5:30 p.m., and there are so many people there that he has to wait half an hour to check out, Martini’s saying (and so am I) that perhaps that should be that customer’s clue to rethink his shopping schedule if possible.
Ten items or less does not mean 5 boxes of assorted baby food containers at different prices counts as 5 items. Each one has to be scanned, or sorted by the cashier and then rung up in group’s. Only if the boxes contain all of one selection and can be identified visualy on the top to be the same product, is it 5 items. The cashier scans one, and types in the quantity in the box. She is done almost at the same speed as if they were five items. This goes for the person with 200 yogurt packs too.