This is why I put my items on the conveyer belt (not usually in the express lane) in groups, and I make sure to tell the checker “There are groups of the same kind of item here.” as I do so. 
This way, they can hit the qty key and move on.
I love grocery shopping at six or seven in the morning. When I worked the nightshift, I gloried in this. I was at the end of my day and everyone else was waking up and there were no lines anywhere.
I will give a little wail to the two-cart shoppers, though: when we did this, it was because we were feeding twenty people three squares a day for the next week. Not just people, either – college students. Many of which were men in their early twenties. There is nothing short of a black hole that can take in as much matter and stay the same size.
I do miss the co-ops sometimes.
“We need to shelve more blueberry yogurt. Stock control system says we’re almost out.”
Consider as well that the checkers usually don’t have authorization to fix certain transactions. They’ll have the user level to clear a double scan, usually. They may not have the user level to deal with a quantity typo. They may scan every yogurt container just to avoid having to deal with the floor manager.
My guess is that they probably make higher margins off the people who buy a few things at a time. People who buy loads of groceries at once are probably value shoppers–they’re the type to stock a pantry with things that are on sale. People who buy groceries every 3 days are just buying whatever they need at whatever the price. I’m not sure that’s really a factor in why they do it that way, but price discrimination is a huge factor in a low margin business like groceries, and attracting the higher margin shoppers is a big goal for most stores.
In general, grocery stores seem bad at queue theory. The whole system sucks, pretty much. On the other hand, helping people with small time requirements get out from behind the people with large time requirements does have a sound basis in theory, so it’s not like the Express Line is a totally out to lunch concept.
I’m another one. I shop once a week for a family of four including our teenage son. I married into a big family, so the weeks I’m shopping for a family party for a birthday or holiday on top of our usual groceries, it often looks like I’m going to need a sherpa to get all this stuff home :smack:
Somehow the concept of “express lane” has not yet made it here to Troll Country. But if I see that the person behind me only has a carry basket, I’ll wave him/her ahead of me.
Or, better yet, program machines to allow only ten items per one bill. Or, even more better, program them to add 50% (or any other painful percentage) charge “for express service” to price of every item if there is more than ten of them? When there’s money involved, even most dense people learn to count to ten in no time.
Ah-Ha-hahahahahahahahhahah!
You, Sir, are obviously not cut out for Management. While your proposal sounds reasonable to snort “normal people”, We in Management have learned that the people who don’t buy lots of shit need to be escorted off the premises as soon as possible. They clog up lines, make things look crowded, demoralize the staff and the Valued Customers and generally suck the life force out of our Fine Company.
No, Sir, it’s the tired looking women with teenagers to feed and Sherpas in tow that we want to keep around longer. They’re more likely, if standing in line, to grab a Lo-Carb Monster from the cooler at the end of the checkout, or a Women’s Day/Family Circle/Martha Stewart from the magazine rack. They may placate their shrieking crotchspawn with a sweet confection, or notice the batteries on the check-out stand they forgot to pick up in Aisle 23. They, Sir, are the people most likely to have forgotten to pick up 14 cans of Spaghetti-Os, the ones with hot dogs in them that *aren’t *on sale but they must be purchased nonetheless because they’re the only kind Junior will eat, and the longer We keep them in Our store, even in line, the more likely they will remember, turn back, and pile that cart even higher.
That guy, with his 6-pack of Coors and three frozen pizzas, is a Liability in this business. We want him to get out, and take his ideals of efficiency and shopping only off his strict little list with him! Begone!
As someone who HATES the trip to the grocery store, having to go more than every two or three weeks makes me cringe. Therefore, a heaping cart full both top, bottom and seat is typical.
Always fun to shove it all into my little sports car.
Staples can be purchased at convenience stores.
When I was at Petco last week, I had to ask the cashier to NOT just count and ring up all the cans of dog food as they were the same brand, but some where less expensive.
Since I had a couple of dozen, I didn’t receive much customer love that day.
Most people at a grocery store will come back again if they have a reasonable experience. Most of the customers are local, and the stuff that grocery stores sell is mostly stuff that you have to buy over and over again. The person who is in the express lane just buying a few items for tonight’s dinner today may be back in a few days to stock up for the week. If you make buying just a few items a frustrating experience, they will probably go to your competitors instead for the next trip.
You guys should move to Pittsburgh and shop at the Giant Eagle on Murray Avenue. I was there in the “12 items or fewer” line last night. (Note: I had 11 items)
That’s an absolutely wonderful idea. After 10 items a buzzer sounds and the belt stops.
“I’m sorry sir, but the rest of these things have to be reshelved. You cannot purchase them right now, or we can continue at a $.75 per item premium for the express service.”
Clear this shit right up is what that would do.
Has anyone ever seen a retail clerk actually call a person on having too many items? In all my years of purchasing items, the only time I’ve ever seen it is when one clerk very politely told a person with a full cart, who was 2 back in line, that it was an express line. The woman laughed and said she hadn’t realized and went to a different lane. But I’ve never seen a clerk enforce it on a current customer, and I’ve never seen a response.
I went through the Wal-Mart 10-Items-Or-Less Express checkout just yesterday with an entire shopping cart full of groceries, plus three Sterilite storage containers, with lids, AND eight gallons of spring water.
[pause]
I needed to get two packs of rolling papers. For the oboe. They’re the only kind of paper that’s thin enough, absorbent enough, and stiff enough to insert under the octave key and soak up the spit that blocks it while you’re playing.
And the only place Wal-Mart sells tobacco products is, of course, the Express checkout.
I apologized profusely to the guy behind me, with his couple of TV dinners and loaf of bread, who came up while I was about one-third of the way done (or else I’d have let him play through). He was really nice about it.
So you’ve BEEN shopping with me? 
Oh - and vibrotronica, you said:
There’s no poetry in your soul, is there…
Another fond memories of my bachelor days was shopping at Buy 4 Less at 3 AM. Just me and the stockers. Ah, those were the days . . .
Oh yes. When I was a bartender, I used to cash out at 3AM and go to Meijer- a square mile of everything needed, no lines.
Carrots, motor oil, socks, milk, bread, Counting Crows CD, varnish, condoms, E.L. Fudge, lampshade, a gross of pencils. I’d watch the cashier to see if I was out of the ordinary
(And if you chop the liver, does it become a hundred little items instead of one big one?)
They taught us in business school that when designing a system of flow-through for jobs or customers, the entire system runs most efficiently if there is a way to expedite the small jobs. I don’t remember exactly how it works but I’ve seen it demonstrated. The MBAs at the store headquarters are probably relying on that theory. So it may not seem fair to pay more and wait longer, but overall the store can process more people more quickly if they can get the quick jobs through.
They also want to appeal to the quick-stop customer who might go in to pick up three things quickly, but once inside will see more stuff they need. Without the express lane, that person goes to the convenience store instead.
The Kiwi fruit you just took out of the freezer!
I get in the 10 items or fewer lane with 30 items and just tell them to ring it up in three different groups of ten. That way everybody is happy.
What?