10 motherfucking items or less!

The BBQ Pit
81

[QUOTE=Bambi Hassenpfeffer]
Because many grocery chains (mine included) use automated replenishment. If the inventory system thinks that we sold a case of peach when it was really 5 of peach and 7 of blueberry, then it will order a case of peach but no blueberry. We are permitted to use the quantity key, but we must be absolutely certain they are the same. As the items are usually mixed on the belt, we usually just scan it. It would take longer to sort then count them than it does to just scan them.
<snip>

[/QUOTE]

This is why I put my items on the conveyer belt (not usually in the express lane) in groups, and I make sure to tell the checker “There are groups of the same kind of item here.” as I do so. :wink: This way, they can hit the qty key and move on.

82

I love grocery shopping at six or seven in the morning. When I worked the nightshift, I gloried in this. I was at the end of my day and everyone else was waking up and there were no lines anywhere.

I will give a little wail to the two-cart shoppers, though: when we did this, it was because we were feeding twenty people three squares a day for the next week. Not just people, either – college students. Many of which were men in their early twenties. There is nothing short of a black hole that can take in as much matter and stay the same size.

I do miss the co-ops sometimes.

83

[QUOTE=JR Brown]
I have known cases where the checkers were forbidden to do this. Not sure why; perhaps the higher-ups are afraid that the checker will miscount, or maybe they really need to know that they sold four blueberry, two peach, and one raspberry Colombo fruit-on-the-bottom yoghurts and not seven blueberry.
[/QUOTE]
“We need to shelve more blueberry yogurt. Stock control system says we’re almost out.”

Consider as well that the checkers usually don’t have authorization to fix certain transactions. They’ll have the user level to clear a double scan, usually. They may not have the user level to deal with a quantity typo. They may scan every yogurt container just to avoid having to deal with the floor manager.

84

[QUOTE=Bill Door]
And while we’re on the subject, what is the point of express lines anyway? What kind of a business model is it that lets people say, “I’m hardly buying anything here, could I have special treatment?”. If I were king of the grocery store you’d have to use the ten items or fewer line if you didn’t have more than ten, and it would be staffed by a half blind arthritic octogenarian so starved for human contact that he or she would prolong any interaction to the point of despair. If people complained, I’d say, “Buy some more shit, cocksuckers and get into the regular lanes, I’m not in business for my health.”.
[/QUOTE]

My guess is that they probably make higher margins off the people who buy a few things at a time. People who buy loads of groceries at once are probably value shoppers–they’re the type to stock a pantry with things that are on sale. People who buy groceries every 3 days are just buying whatever they need at whatever the price. I’m not sure that’s really a factor in why they do it that way, but price discrimination is a huge factor in a low margin business like groceries, and attracting the higher margin shoppers is a big goal for most stores.

In general, grocery stores seem bad at queue theory. The whole system sucks, pretty much. On the other hand, helping people with small time requirements get out from behind the people with large time requirements does have a sound basis in theory, so it’s not like the Express Line is a totally out to lunch concept.

85

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Expeditions? Well, I shop for a family of four and an in-home daycare for toddlers (my Goldfish purchases alone are a tax deduction!), and I do it about three times a month, so yeah, I’m that tired looking woman with the cart overflowing with stuff.
[/QUOTE]
I’m another one. I shop once a week for a family of four including our teenage son. I married into a big family, so the weeks I’m shopping for a family party for a birthday or holiday on top of our usual groceries, it often looks like I’m going to need a sherpa to get all this stuff home :smack:

Somehow the concept of “express lane” has not yet made it here to Troll Country. But if I see that the person behind me only has a carry basket, I’ll wave him/her ahead of me.

86

[QUOTE=AngelicGemma]
Can we pit the companies that don’t bother to enforce it as well? Would it be so terrible to let the staff say “I’m sorry sir, but this is the 10 items or fewer line. I can’t serve you here.”
[/QUOTE]

Or, better yet, program machines to allow only ten items per one bill. Or, even more better, program them to add 50% (or any other painful percentage) charge “for express service” to price of every item if there is more than ten of them? When there’s money involved, even most dense people learn to count to ten in no time.

87

[QUOTE=Bill Door]
And while we’re on the subject, what is the point of express lines anyway? What kind of a business model is it that lets people say, “I’m hardly buying anything here, could I have special treatment?”. If I were king of the grocery store you’d have to use the ten items or fewer line if you didn’t have more than ten, and it would be staffed by a half blind arthritic octogenarian so starved for human contact that he or she would prolong any interaction to the point of despair. If people complained, I’d say, “Buy some more shit, cocksuckers and get into the regular lanes, I’m not in business for my health.”.
[/QUOTE]

Ah-Ha-hahahahahahahahhahah!

You, Sir, are obviously not cut out for Management. While your proposal sounds reasonable to snort “normal people”, We in Management have learned that the people who don’t buy lots of shit need to be escorted off the premises as soon as possible. They clog up lines, make things look crowded, demoralize the staff and the Valued Customers and generally suck the life force out of our Fine Company.

No, Sir, it’s the tired looking women with teenagers to feed and Sherpas in tow that we want to keep around longer. They’re more likely, if standing in line, to grab a Lo-Carb Monster from the cooler at the end of the checkout, or a Women’s Day/Family Circle/Martha Stewart from the magazine rack. They may placate their shrieking crotchspawn with a sweet confection, or notice the batteries on the check-out stand they forgot to pick up in Aisle 23. They, Sir, are the people most likely to have forgotten to pick up 14 cans of Spaghetti-Os, the ones with hot dogs in them that *aren’t *on sale but they must be purchased nonetheless because they’re the only kind Junior will eat, and the longer We keep them in Our store, even in line, the more likely they will remember, turn back, and pile that cart even higher.

That guy, with his 6-pack of Coors and three frozen pizzas, is a Liability in this business. We want him to get out, and take his ideals of efficiency and shopping only off his strict little list with him! Begone!

88

[QUOTE=Mikemike2]
I like this idea. As I have always shopped for one to three days at a time, I do not understand people who can fill a cart. Are there that many expeditions? I certainly do not ever want to wait behind one of those.
[/QUOTE]

As someone who HATES the trip to the grocery store, having to go more than every two or three weeks makes me cringe. Therefore, a heaping cart full both top, bottom and seat is typical.

Always fun to shove it all into my little sports car.

Staples can be purchased at convenience stores.

89

[QUOTE=PastAllReason]
They don’t do that at the stores here any more. The cashiers will run the identical items over the scanner one by one by one. Presumably it is at store direction as mentioned by an earlier poster, because you have to think it is an annoyance to the cashier.
[/QUOTE]

When I was at Petco last week, I had to ask the cashier to NOT just count and ring up all the cans of dog food as they were the same brand, but some where less expensive.

Since I had a couple of dozen, I didn’t receive much customer love that day.

90

[QUOTE=Bill Door]
And while we’re on the subject, what is the point of express lines anyway? What kind of a business model is it that lets people say, “I’m hardly buying anything here, could I have special treatment?”.
[/QUOTE]

Most people at a grocery store will come back again if they have a reasonable experience. Most of the customers are local, and the stuff that grocery stores sell is mostly stuff that you have to buy over and over again. The person who is in the express lane just buying a few items for tonight’s dinner today may be back in a few days to stock up for the week. If you make buying just a few items a frustrating experience, they will probably go to your competitors instead for the next trip.

You guys should move to Pittsburgh and shop at the Giant Eagle on Murray Avenue. I was there in the “12 items or fewer” line last night. (Note: I had 11 items)

91

[QUOTE=puppygod]
Or, better yet, program machines to allow only ten items per one bill. Or, even more better, program them to add 50% (or any other painful percentage) charge “for express service” to price of every item if there is more than ten of them? When there’s money involved, even most dense people learn to count to ten in no time.
[/QUOTE]

That’s an absolutely wonderful idea. After 10 items a buzzer sounds and the belt stops.

“I’m sorry sir, but the rest of these things have to be reshelved. You cannot purchase them right now, or we can continue at a $.75 per item premium for the express service.”

Clear this shit right up is what that would do.

92

Has anyone ever seen a retail clerk actually call a person on having too many items? In all my years of purchasing items, the only time I’ve ever seen it is when one clerk very politely told a person with a full cart, who was 2 back in line, that it was an express line. The woman laughed and said she hadn’t realized and went to a different lane. But I’ve never seen a clerk enforce it on a current customer, and I’ve never seen a response.

93

I went through the Wal-Mart 10-Items-Or-Less Express checkout just yesterday with an entire shopping cart full of groceries, plus three Sterilite storage containers, with lids, AND eight gallons of spring water.

[pause]

I needed to get two packs of rolling papers. For the oboe. They’re the only kind of paper that’s thin enough, absorbent enough, and stiff enough to insert under the octave key and soak up the spit that blocks it while you’re playing.

And the only place Wal-Mart sells tobacco products is, of course, the Express checkout.

I apologized profusely to the guy behind me, with his couple of TV dinners and loaf of bread, who came up while I was about one-third of the way done (or else I’d have let him play through). He was really nice about it.

94

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
No, Sir, it’s the tired looking women with teenagers to feed and Sherpas in tow that we want to keep around longer. They’re more likely, if standing in line, to grab a Lo-Carb Monster from the cooler at the end of the checkout, or a Women’s Day/Family Circle/Martha Stewart from the magazine rack. They may placate their shrieking crotchspawn with a sweet confection, or notice the batteries on the check-out stand they forgot to pick up in Aisle 23. They, Sir, are the people most likely to have forgotten to pick up 14 cans of Spaghetti-Os, the ones with hot dogs in them that *aren’t *on sale but they must be purchased nonetheless because they’re the only kind Junior will eat, and the longer We keep them in Our store, even in line, the more likely they will remember, turn back, and pile that cart even higher.

That guy, with his 6-pack of Coors and three frozen pizzas, is a Liability in this business. We want him to get out, and take his ideals of efficiency and shopping only off his strict little list with him! Begone!
[/QUOTE]

So you’ve BEEN shopping with me? :smiley:
Oh - and vibrotronica, you said:

There’s no poetry in your soul, is there… :wink:

95

Another fond memories of my bachelor days was shopping at Buy 4 Less at 3 AM. Just me and the stockers. Ah, those were the days . . .

96

Oh yes. When I was a bartender, I used to cash out at 3AM and go to Meijer- a square mile of everything needed, no lines.

Carrots, motor oil, socks, milk, bread, Counting Crows CD, varnish, condoms, E.L. Fudge, lampshade, a gross of pencils. I’d watch the cashier to see if I was out of the ordinary

97

[QUOTE=Cluricaun]

That’s an absolutely wonderful idea. After 10 items a buzzer sounds and the belt stops.

“I’m sorry sir, but the rest of these things have to be reshelved. You cannot purchase them right now, or we can continue at a $.75 per item premium for the express service.”

Clear this shit right up is what that would do.
[/QUOTE]
What am I, chopped liver?

(And if you chop the liver, does it become a hundred little items instead of one big one?)

98

[QUOTE=Bill Door]

And while we’re on the subject, what is the point of express lines anyway? What kind of a business model is it that lets people say, “I’m hardly buying anything here, could I have special treatment?”. If I were king of the grocery store you’d have to use the ten items or fewer line if you didn’t have more than ten, and it would be staffed by a half blind arthritic octogenarian so starved for human contact that he or she would prolong any interaction to the point of despair. If people complained, I’d say, “Buy some more shit, cocksuckers and get into the regular lanes, I’m not in business for my health.”.
[/QUOTE]

They taught us in business school that when designing a system of flow-through for jobs or customers, the entire system runs most efficiently if there is a way to expedite the small jobs. I don’t remember exactly how it works but I’ve seen it demonstrated. The MBAs at the store headquarters are probably relying on that theory. So it may not seem fair to pay more and wait longer, but overall the store can process more people more quickly if they can get the quick jobs through.

They also want to appeal to the quick-stop customer who might go in to pick up three things quickly, but once inside will see more stuff they need. Without the express lane, that person goes to the convenience store instead.

99

[QUOTE=the PC apeman]
I would go with the kiwifruit.
[/QUOTE]

The Kiwi fruit you just took out of the freezer! :smiley:

100

I get in the 10 items or fewer lane with 30 items and just tell them to ring it up in three different groups of ten. That way everybody is happy.

What?