So I’m in the Price Chopper, in the express line. Things are going slowly. Ahead of me is an old lady with two items. Ahead of her is a woman with a cartful of stuff. It sure looks like a lot.
When she gets up to the cashier, she takes out ten items of related stuff (five quarts of ice cream and some other frozen stuff) and then puts down one of those divider thingies. She takes takes out an additional fifteen items and puts them down.
(For those of you with poor math skills, 10+15=25.)
She then pays for the first bunch of items separately. By the time the old woman between us is grumbling audibly. Now she goes through the rigamarole of starting to pay for the second group. She turns to the old lady and says in a neener-neener voice, “See, I only have fifteen items.”
“No you don’t!” says the old lady angrily.
“Yes, I…”
“Ma’am,” I say politely, because this was stewing up to be an argument that would just hold things up longer, “you have 25 items, I counted. Would you please…”
“No I don’t!” she said. “I have fifteen. THEEEEESE things are for someone else. I’m buying them for someone else.”
Of course, anyone dumb enough to say something like this would not know that every decent and intelligent human on earth will immediately think the following:
- Oh yeah. They’re for someone else. Suresuresure. Yup, yup. A likely story.
- So fucking what? That still defeats the purpose of the EXPRESS LINE.
“Ma’am,” I said, “I’m sorry, but I only see you, and you have 25 items. Now, please…”
“I have fifteen! Those aren’t mine!”
I finally lost it. “Pay the lady and get the hell out of the way!”
She paid and got the hell out of the way.
Honest to fucking fuck. The purpose of the express line is to get people through quickly. “Sixteen items or less” means you have 16 items or less tha the cashier needs to scan. It does not mean you have 10 items for yourself, 16 for Mabel, 14 for Edna and 11 for Jane, it means YOU, the only person in line, have 16 items or less. It does not mean that if you have 29 items it’s okay because they’re all boxes of Frosted Flakes; if they have to be inputted 29 times, it’s 29 fuckin’ items. If you are A PERSON with more than 16 items, you don’t belong there. She knows that. EVERYONE knows that; she was just being an inconsiderate bitch and trying to get around the rule with a ridiculous technicality.
I find as I age I’m getting more patient with most things. Work-related things? No fuss; fix the problem, not the blame, no reason to panic. Family things? No problem, let’s find a solution. Baby’s screaming? Babies scream; just figure out a solution. Traffic slow? That’s what the radio is for.
But I’m getting LESS patient with one thing; people who are inconsiderate. I used to not saying anything to people to butted into line and did shit like this, but no longer. If you’re trying to take advantage of other people, you’re an asshole, fuck you, and I’m gonna say something.
