- I’m not even old enough to consume alcohol.
2…nor smoke.
3…nor join the Army. - I’m old enough to drive, but don’t have a license.
- I’m a teenager
6…that enjoys studying languages
7…and history
8…and writing
9…and is (surprise!) a virgin.
10…I haven’t had a relationship in nearly two years.
11…I secretly listen to rap music.
It is wonderful, and scary, to see so many kindred spirits here!
My own list:
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I have the biggest feet, ever. I have to wear men’s shoes a lot.
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I adore Aerosmith, even though they don’t have big hair anymore and their music is getting way mellow. I’d jump in the middle of a Steven Tyler/Joe Perry sammich in a second.
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I adore my Mom, and would rather spend time with her than almost anyone else.
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I have bangs. They are not fashionable. Famous, fashionable people do not have them. I will always have bangs, and fluff them up a little, because my head looks like a big basketball without fluffed bangs.
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I notice misspelled words and incorrect grammar, and it bugs me. I’ll tear apart the spelling in a freakin’ love letter. And the grammatical errors in people’s speech. But only in my head.
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I love to listen to polka music with my Mom.
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I use the word ‘dude’ for everyone, regardless of sex, age, or status.
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I like craft stuff, like decoupage and beadwork.
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I love guinea pigs, and almost all animals. I, too, make up melodies and songs for all of my pets.
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I write a pet column for my local paper and don’t get paid for it.
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I talk to fish in pet stores. I talk to my own fish. They seem to like it.
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I love to tear up my Wendy’s french fries, and put them in my frosty, and eat them together with a spoon like cereal.
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I am very close to my pets and feel as though I should take them to church with me.
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I walk funny.
Holy crap! I did that yesterday at work when it came on the radio and everyne stared at me. Good to know I’m not alone in the world.
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I love drum and bugle corps and have paid good money to see them.
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I love to talk about my children ad nausium.
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I own a Yanni CD.
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I own the soundtrack to Oliver!
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I love bagpipes.
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I dress up to go to renaissance faires.
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I read cook books. Not just to cook, but sit-down-on-the-couch-for-hours reading.
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Once a year or so I see a psychic and take most of what she says to heart.
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I have a sever speech impediment caused by poor hearing and hardly anyone that hasn’t known me for years can understand a word I’m saying.
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I think most of the things people have listed here are extremely cool.
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I have the same hairstyle I had when I was 15. (I’m 24.)
2a. I honestly didn’t know my bangs were uncool until I read this thread.
Crikey! That’s one of the most repulsive things I’ve ever heard of.
Ack!
Anyhow…
It’s a bit odd that some people have listed not smoking/drinking as a reason they’re not cool, and other people have listed smoking/drinking as a reason they’re not cool. Thus, I will provide two separate lists.
Things that I think are pretty darn cool, but that Joe Six-Pack would stereotypically think weren’t cool:
1-I read the SDMB
2-I play Magic: The Gathering
3-Heck, I live Magic: The Gathering (not in a live-action roleplaying sense, or a delusional sense, but in the sense that it occupies inordinate amounts of my time, thoughts, and money)
4-I paid $500 (to charity) to get to see Attack of the Clones 5 days early and briefly meet George Lucas. I consider it money well spent, and for days ahead of time I was giddy with anticipation. Oh Yoda.
5-The only thing even close to a rock concert that I’ve ever been to was a Weird Al concert
6-I don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs
7-I don’t “party”
8-I own videotapes of all the episodes of My So Called Life, and have preordered the DVD boxed set
9-I have inconsistent but sometimes freakishly good retention for details. I’ve never met anyone else of my generation who could beat me at trivial pursuit
10-I almost played in a scrabble tournament all weekend last weekend, but logistics prevented it at the last moment
11-I have a box at home with all the love letters I got from my first girlfriend (over 10 years ago)
12-I don’t have, nor have I ever had, a hairstyle
13-I don’t care what clothes I wear
14-I wear the same white tennis shoes every day and for every activity (barring extremely formal events or hiking)
15-One of my most prized possessions is a vintage broccoli ad featuring a young girl dressed up as broccoli labeled The Tender Years, which is alternately described as awesome, campy, and pedophilic
16-I dressed up as the aforementioned broccoli girl last Halloween
17-I’ve been a member of match.com for so long that I remember when they didn’t even have a website, just email forms that you filled out and mailed in
18-I own lots of CDs, but most are classical and showtunes, with the only exceptions being Weird Al, The Beatles and Queen.
19-In fact, I’m stunningly ignorant about rock/pop music in general
20-I grew up without TV, and thus have never seen (for instance) The Facts of Life
21-Having read the lists of uncool characteristics of other dopers, I now have even more crushes on female dopers than I did before. And I somehow believe, deep in my heart, that my mentioning that will somehow, through some chain of emails and events, lead to me marrying one of them. (OK, I admit, even I don’t think that makes me cool…)
22-Last Thanksgiving I visited my uncle and aunt along with their children and cute baby grandchildren, and I helped their grandchildren build the words biggest and best marble machine which rolled marbles all the way down the basement stairs inside rolled up paper tubes, into a cardboard box, down a whole bunch of wooden blocks onto a table, from their onto a chair, and finally onto the floor
23-I can beat anyone, and I mean anyone, at Super Street Fighter II Turbo. I also recently set the high score in a worldwide Ghouls N’ Ghosts contest. However, I hardly like any of the video games that are released these days.
24-I can do origami
25-I can tie knots
26-I can do magic tricks
27-I fool myself into thinking that I can keep this list up until it reaches 100 entries
28-My favorite movie is Wayne’s World, which I saw 7 times in the theatres
29-I am a lapsed member of the American Contract Bridge League
30-I was actively involved in a dairy-pun-war which, until recently, was floating around the net, but which seems to now have vanished. (Sample: “Are you ready for the fastest pun in the west? See, I slipped it right past your eyes”) (and I was going to include a link here, but now I can’t)
31-I really don’t enjoy Harry Turtledove’s books, yet I read them all
32-I’m still reading The Wheel of Time
33-I like chocolate. I like Ice Cream. I don’t like Chocolate Ice Cream at all.
34-I cry like a baby whenever I see Les Miz, which is as often as possible
35-I’m very sad that the weekly 4-square game we had at work has trickled to a halt. It was the high point of my week.
36-I still clearly remember in chillingly precise agony the details of how one of my schoolmates failed to show up for the Santa Clara Valley Math Field Day in 1991, leaving my alma mater (Homestead High School) in second place, despite an otherwise dominant performance
37-Every year for my birthday, I organize a party called “win [my real name]’s money”, in which my guests compete in various game-show-style competitions to win actual money. Last year it was more elaborate than ever before, feature bonus rounds, skill competitions, and Dance Dance Revolution, and best of all, it raised over $200 for the World Wildlife Fund.
38-Among other things hanging on the wall of my cube are:
-An autographed head-shot of Kirsten Dunst
-Postcards from Legoland
-The Doonesbury strip where Lacey Davenport dies
-Pictures of me in several wedding parties
-A screenshot from the Microsoft Gaming Zone when I was the 2nd ranked hearts player out of 50,000 or so
-A photo of me being frisked by a storm trooper
39-At family reunions, I end up spending all of my time playing with the 3- through 7- year olds (I’m 28)
40-I frickin’ love Titanic
41-In high school, I was on the newspaper staff. Our newspaper was widely considered to be the best high school newspaper in the country. I bet you didn’t know that there was such a thing as the “best high school newspaper in the country”. Well, there was, and I was on it, and quite aware of it, let me tell you.
Thinks that I think in fact truly are NOT cool about me:
1-As mentioned above, I don’t smoke or drink or do drugs or party. Which is cool by me. But I have a tendency to be a bit kneejerk and judgmental about people who do. Which is not cool. Same goes for people who have hairstyles, wear nice clothing, listen to rock music, etc.
2-I’m sometimes astonishingly unaware of other people’s feelings
3-There are lots of things that I enjoy doing that I never get off my duff to do
4-There hasn’t been much going on at work for the past couple of weeks (we’re between projects), and instead of using that time to organize things, research useful techniques, or even expand my intellectual horizons, I’ve mostly been doping
5-I’ve just about given up on love
6-I’m extremely arrogant
7-I’m extremely insecure
8-I don’t spend enough time with my truly extraordinary group of friends
Man, this list could go on for ages, knowing me…
[list=1]
[li]I have Toaster52 beat by a few years, as far as wearing glasses is concerned. First wore 'em at maybe age 2, if not earlier.[/li][li]I have almost always kept lists of people’s birthdays, phone numbers, and anniversaries. Nothing weird or uncool about that, you say? Well, how about this: lists of deceased people, people’s email addresses, people’s name changes (by current name and former name, thank you very much), middle names, maiden names, addresses, and such. (no, I did NOT cannibalize the thread of people’s real names a while back… however, I do that to the birthday threads, hahaha)[/li][li]An addition to the above: I used to keep lists of families that had only boys or only girls (I called them “one-gender families”), families that had multiples, families with only one child, and large families. (defined as having four or more children)[/li][li]To further add to the two items above: the people in question don’t even have to be people I know in real life, or at all. That’s right: I cannibalize the Internet and the newspapers for my own use! MWAHAHAHAHAHA![/li][li]I have almost never watched any current popular TV show regularly. (except for ER) But I remember the days when I watched Full House, Unsolved Mysteries, Square One, Family Matters, You Can’t Do That On Television, Married With Children, and Saved By The Bell regularly. :D[/li][li]I just got my sister to check my email for me, since I can’t check it myself. (she said I had 188 messages… cropped way down to 57)[/li][li]I have never smoked, had a hangover, or ingested any illegal drugs. (I used to be tempted to smoke at one time or another, but never actually got close to putting a cigarette in my mouth)[/li][li]I have been known to relentlessly correct errors in spelling and grammar (I got called a “nag” over this in that final confrontation I had a week ago)[/li][li]As an addition to the above, I usually try to correct my mistakes, which sometimes results in more work. [/li][li]I have never had a relationship in any way, shape, or form. (and those “play” relationships back in Gr. 8 don’t count, since we never dated)[/li][li]An addition to the above: I have never kissed a guy at all.[/li][li]I still sometimes wish I’d posted a newbie thread for myself, even though I know that might be frowned upon. (but I did just do one for Spoz, so that’s cool, right?)[/li][li]I am not your stereotypical Asian woman in that I am not of petite build, like karaoke, and always talk in Chinese. (in fact, I almost never speak Cantonese except to communicate with my grandma and her friends)[/li][li]I have almost always made up “families” out of “clusters” or names on handouts and things of that nature. It’s certain you don’t know what I mean, either. :D[/li][li]I sometimes go around saying things in a weird, hybrid, and obviously very fake accent: it’s sort of a crappy blend of British/Australian. (or at least, what I think it sounds like)[/li][li]I have been interested in twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc. since I was young.[/li][li]I have never been to a nude beach. (this Twisted Tune on the radio about Wreck Beach just reminded me of this item, heh)[/li][li]All the kids ask me for gum, and I usually have it. :D[/li][li]I have my online crushes, but I’m not telling who they are… ;)[/li][li]I used to play RPGs a lot, but only ever finished one or two. (Earthbound! was one, I remember… I think the other one was Breath of Fire II)[/li][li]I have never had a pet. (those fish we ultimately had to flush down the toilet might not have counted)[/li][li]Since discovering this message board, I “think” in smileys, abbreviations, inside jokes, etc. :eek: Not so surprising, really, since I spend almost all my time here. :o[/li][li]I have watched Pop-Up Video enough times to practically memorize certain shows.[/li][li]I used to memorize bits of Garfield comic books.[/li][li]I almost never wear makeup. Can’t remember the last time I ever did. (only used hairspray once, as I recall)[/li][li]I watched MuchMusic and/or MuchMoreMusic on a regular basis up until the beginning of this year. (and watched Musique-Plus up until it was no longer offered here; yes, even though I didn’t really understand much of what they were saying in French… my brother and I used to love watching Beavis and Butthead on Channel 35)[/li][li]My brother and I used to watch the Weather Channel years ago, and pick out mistakes in the text forecasts. (and found rather a lot of them, too)[/li][li]Even though I’ve had braces and a retainer, my teeth have never grown in straight. (part of it is due to my own less-than-rigorous care, I’m sure, but still…)[/li][li]I used to like watching The Monkees and The Partridge Family on the music video channels, when they ahd them on.[/li][li]I think this list has gone on too long, and I should stop.[/li][/list=1]
F_X
No, really, it’s yummy. Seriously. It’s that whole sweet/salty thing. One night my sister and I sat down and ate vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup mixed in and dipped Tostitos in it. MMmmm.
Also, about the bangs-not-fashionable thing, I’ve just heard on television and in the magazines and the papers and the fashion shows how completely out they are. Oh well. Who cares? Let there be bangs!
Oh, hell:
- My last three girlfriends have been nuts.
- My first girlfriend used me as a booty call.
- I got up at 5 a.m. last Halloween to paint my entire head. I was Darth Maul.
- Speaking of which, I went to the premire of Episode I in a Maul costume.
- I didn’t go as Maul to Episode II, although I did wear my black cape.
- Speaking of which, I waited in line for 6 hours for Ep. I tickets. The news reporter who showed up went right for the idiot with the lightsaber…me.
- I’m wearing a complete, homemade Boba Fett costume this year.
- My last 5 posts were about Star Wars.
- Here’s one more: I own pretty much ever Star Wars Lego set.
- Glasses since the 4th grade. I get by with contacts now.
- Balding, although not horribly.
- When I was six, my parents gave me a Little House on the Prarie lunchbox. I hated the show. Plus, kids teased me for having one; they all had cool plastic Superman boxes.
- I’ve never been to Disneyworld. My mom, dad, brother, and sister all have, as did every one of my classmates in grade school.
- I’d get sent to my grandparents’ house in Florida every winter break. Everyone ELSE went to Disneyworld.
- I get the jokes in Dilbert, yet I’m not an engineer.
- I never activated my teaching certificate.
- I went to my school formal alone this year. (Crap, I’m taking Persephone as my date next time.)
- I’m nuts about Rensaissance Faires. I own a full Scottish costume, although it’s largely hodepodge.
- For daily news, I read Drudge, Fox, and TheForce.net. (The last, of course, is a Star Wars news site.)
- I keep misspeling “tongue.”
- I hate the Beatles. Could never get into it.
- I hate when people sing “American Pie” in bars.
- It’s 3 a.m. right now, and I’m watching Leno reruns.
- My list isn’t as (un)cool as the rest of yours.
I am uncool, because…[list=1][li]I actively avoid celebrities and the cult of celebrity.[/li][li]I can’t name a single current popular TV show. Partly because I don’t even have cable.[/li][li]I still have most of my cassettes and vinyl from the eighties, and I actively listen to them. I’m listening to Tears for Fears as I type this.[/li][li]I don’t drink alcohol. I decided when I was 13 or so that I never wanted to experience a hangover, and I’ve kept to that.[/li][li]I don’t smoke.[/li][li]My best classes in my last year of high school were art, physics, chemistry, and math.[/li][li]I came third in my high-school’s math competition.[/li][li]I’ve made web pages in Unicode. After writing a Perl CGI script to power them.[/li][li]I run Linux on my home PC.[/li][li]I speak half-decent Esperanto. This has led to…[/li][li]…about half of my social and work life involving Esperanto-speakers.[/li][li]…my PC running in Esperanto.[/li][li]…my going to Europe during 2002 specifically to attend an Esperanto convention.[/li][li]…my becoming Acting President of the local Esperanto club.[/li][li]…serious plans to write, publish, and sell my own comic book in Esperanto (and in as many other languages as possible).[/li][li]…serious plans to return to Europe to go to, yes, another Esperanto convention.[/li][li]…and fantasies about meeting an Esperanto-speaking woman, getting married, and raising multilingual kids who speak Esperanto.[/li][li]I write technical manuals for wireless communications equipment.[/li][li]And I like indexing them.[/li][li]I sometimes hang out with a bunch of activists who have the courage to go to the barricades and courtrooms for their beliefs, even though I am much too cowardly to do the same. I just catch the news later. :([/li][li]In twenty-five years, I’ve had one serious SO; most of my friends are now married. Some of these friends have grandchildren.[/li][li]I’ve written fiction for the Devilbunnies shared universe.[/li]And… I can properly include a list in an SDMB post. :D[/list=1]
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I spend too much on my computer
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I know the brand of lighting fixtures in movies just by looking at them
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I’m a pushover
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I have absolutemly no running ability
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I work at WalMart
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I’m not going to quit
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I actually take telephone surveys
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I’m up till 4 AM surfing the net
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I refuse to wear long sleaved shirts
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I can recite the words to “Everything You Know is Wrong” by Wierd Al
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My abilities at conversation would make a ceramic tile seem articulate.
Four Things:
- I’m English, living in London, and a big 'ole Willie Nelson fan. I went to see him at the Albert Hall last month, and I’m flying to Vermont on Wednesday to see him again.
- I have a pair of 22 year old Birkenstocks I always wear around the house. In fact, sometime I’ll travel with them so as I have something to wear in the hotel…
- I only post about once a year, but I had to come out of the closet for this thread…
- Um, three things.
Only post about once a year and yet you have 492 posts? Holy crap, how long has this board been going? (And what kind of moonshine have you been sipping? You lookin’ young, baby!) 
I thought of a few additions to my list overnight: (darn, they don’t let you start lists with the first item not being Number One)
-
Speaking of lunchboxes, Res… my mother made me carry one to school well into Gr. 7. I remember it was a yellow Cabbage Patch Kids[sup]TM[/sup] one. I finally rebelled and made her see the error of her ways. (for once, I got what I wanted)
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I don’t drive at all; never really wanted to learn. (oh, the horrors!)
33, I’m not current on all the latest arts & entertainment news, and I have never had a crush on a celebrity.
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I have never had the desire to type in “leet speak.”
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Speaking of school functions, about the only ones I attended were the school concerts (because I was in them, as a clarinet-playing member of the band), and graduation. (and I only got to attend that through subterfuge)
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I’ve never really had what you could call a “lifelong friend,” much less a tight group of friends at school. In fact, I’m not sure I was all that popular in school. (unless certain church friends count as lifelong friends)
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I’m getting old. and can’t stay up till 3 or 4 AM much these days. Of course, this may change for a couple days in a row, but I’m no longer able to do that with regularity.
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I have never really cooked a huge meal in my life, or even one for myself and a bunch of friends. There was the time I actually made chicken piccata a month or so ago, but I’ve never made it since. (I always have to follow recipes if I ever do cook, otherwise the results would be disastrous) In fact, I don’t think I enjoy cooking. (or dishes, but that’s another story)
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I display a marked aversion to exercise and being fit. (this, in a city where seemingly everyone is interested in these things)
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I also spend way too much time on my computer. (or my brother’s computer… the same applies)
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I frequently laugh over nothing at all. (“uncontrollable, hysterical laughter,” as my friend calls it)
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My database of lists (mentioned in my last post) actually has an “official” name. However, I didn’t name it; my brother and his friend Eric did. Every time they refer to it, they call it “the Bootybase[sup]TM[/sup].” :o
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I have this weird selective memory for cetain mumbers and birthdays, music trivia, and such. Anything else you want me to remember, I’ll have to write it down… but sometimes I do forget!
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I sometimes use weird language forms when talking to people; for example: “Well, it would be advantageous for you to take this opportunity to do what you truly, in your heart of hearts, want to do.” (instead of, say, “This would be good for you to do what you want to do.”)
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I have a fairly large vocabulary, and I’m not afraid to use it!
(our friend Eric once told me that my vocabulary was too big for him… hey, I was only using the words “capacious,” “castigating,” and “perspicacious,” among others) -
I think the above two items come from reading far too damn much.
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I like to burn people sometimes, and make fun of them. Yes, sometimes even when I’ve just met them… but mostly when I’ve got to know them over some time first.
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Our Richmond Crew[sup]TM[/sup] has inside jokes about the Roots[sup]TM[/sup] chain, A-1 steak sauce, booty, burgers, etc.
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I spend way too much money on books and spicy food.
That’s all I can think of right now; besides, I have to go eat lunch.
F_X
Oh, joy, what fun!
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I can name just about every member to join the X-Men since they were first introduced in 1963
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I quite literally go into withdrawal if I’m away from the computer for more than a day
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When other kids wanted to be pro basketball players, I wanted to be a paleontologist
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I refuse to wear shorts. At all. Just…no.
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I love to cook for myself and others, especially breakfast stuffs
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I never swear. Ever. My motto: You show me a man who swears, and I’ll show you a man in desprate need of a thesaurus
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Never smoked or drunk, and never will
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I think that live theatre is the best thing to happen to the world since bread. (No, not sliced bread. Bread.)
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Do the words ‘Can’t do a single push up’ mean anything to you?
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I actually iron my t-shirts before going out
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I am 14 years old and all of this applies to me.
- I can strip down and reassemble a computer in less than 15 minutes.
- I prefer to wear a t-shirt and jeans.
- I own several t-shirts with things like “No, I will not fix your computer” written on them. (thinkgeek.com rocks!)
- I’m in high school and use a laptop at school. Said laptop is 5 years old.
- I name my computers
- Like others, I talk to objects. I curse (loudly) at computers when they don’t work.
- I can’t reliably take public transportation. There’s an good chance I will miss a bus, and a small chance I will miss a subsquent bus.
- I’m looking to buy a Newton PDA.
- I don’t like to watch sports. I also don’t like to play most sports. (Fencing is the exception, though I can’t afford it at the moment)
- I’m 18 and haven’t had a date. I’m also too lazy to find a date.
- I’m not terribly interested in getting my driver’s license.
- I’m the wizard (administrator) on a small MOO.
Let’s see, picking some from the middle of my list at random;
CATEGORY 1341 - Entertainment and Popular Culture
…
1341.2 - I use phrases like “OH! The machine that goes BIIINNGG!” even in corporate meetings.
1341.3 - I can recite pretty much the whole of “Real Genius” on command.1341.4 - Star Wars, STTOS, STTNG, STV, STE, Battelstar Galactica, Tron, Space 1999, The NASA channel
1341.5 - References to SPAM always make me break out in song
…
CATEGORY 1342 - Social life and issues
1342.1 - I’m a gay man who doesn’t like show tunes (very much) and I don’t sleep around - I’m in it for love
1342.2 - I ride a Harley because I like the bike, not because I want to be a “biker”
1342.3 - I’m against animal cruelty, but I eat meat and wear leather
1342.4 - I drink too many Starbucks mochas because they taste good.
1342.5 - To me, a “hot” date is someone who’s willing to talk for hours and sit home eating pizza
…
CATEGORY 1361 - Leisure pursuits
1361.1 - I like going to see really dumb movies by myself
1361.2 - TV is sometimes my best friend on a Saturday night
1361.3 - I still listen to A-Ha, Bam and Yaz
1361.4 - I cry at the end of “Appolo 13” - every time.
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- OK, that’s enough for now
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I refuse to eat unless I’m hungry. I have to be ravenous and feeling shaky before food passes my maw. If there’s a party, or a barbecue or whatever, I’m not gonna eat unless my stomach gives the go-ahead.
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I hold conversations with my cat.
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My wardrobe consists of five pairs of black jeans, two pairs of shoes (one of which is giving up the ghost), one pair of dirty sweatpants, a pair of battered shorts, a suit and an assortment of T-shirts. The only head covering I own is a stocking cap. I’m wearing it right now.
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I am one of two vegetarians in my school of 1500 students.
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I’m a drama geek. I’m also in Hi-Q, perhaps the geekiest thing a geek can do. I’m also the copy editor for the yearbook.
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I asked a friend what ‘bling-bling’ meant. I honestly had no clue what it meant. Same with asking what ‘keeping it real’ meant and asking where Motown was - I was laughed at heartily for the last.
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My incompetence with modern slang is made up for by my use of big, obscure words in everyday conversation. I’m like Palve in that I’m shameless with using certain German loans (and a few French loans that are creeping into my vocabulary). This angstige teen even makes sure he inflects them right.
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Sports - the only sport is cross-country running. All others may die in the rain.
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I like dinosaurs. That’s the only reason I saw Jurassic Park III - to see the dinosaurs. The plot stank, but the dinosaurs ruled.
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If it’s a movie involving anything I even remotely have a clue about, I’ll nitpick it endlessly. I could fill a page with the whole Jurassic Park series’ inconsistencies.
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I’m allergic to television, and yet, am an avid fan of Star Trek. I ignore the commercials - I want my Star Trek, goshdarnit! I get up immediately after the episode ends and turn off the TV. No need to pollute my brain with any more television.
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i want to make music…of intentionally poor quality.
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i dont like star trek…because i can tell you how it is scientifically inconsistent
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greetings, amorphous hydrated quartz!
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I insert variations on inside jokes even after people have played off them
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i dont ask women out (or men for that matter, actually, even though i’m hetero male i’ve actually asked more women than men to go out and do things, but they never took it as a date)
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I think rockford files is cool
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i wish more people would be into Echo and Psych Furs and fewer into Goth
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i use names like “echo” and “psych furs” to refer to depressing 80s bands
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i never use caps
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when asked a trivia question about shaft i still make a “hayes-compatible modem” joke
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i think a “revenge screw” counts
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i dont like porn
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sometimes i cant remember a common word like “apple” and instead i say something like “the plant that snow white ate and has amygdalin in it which will transform into cyanide in your stomcah”
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i can empathize with Syd Barrett
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i know who Syd Barrett is
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i write lists in the style of a Purity Test
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i can read a map
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i can ride a unicycle
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i never wear make up and i have never dyed my hair
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i liked survivor
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i cant sing or dance, but i do both in the privacy of my own home
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i dont like soda pop
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i dont like milk
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i was the only one in my circle of friends to gasp breastfeed
my children -
i make my kids eat vegtables
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i cant swim
and finally what makes me really uncool –
- i worked the past 8 friday, saturday and sunday nights and didnt really feel like i missed out on anything