Did we ever figure out this puzzle? Because now and again it pops up in my mind and drives me crazy again.
Is it 14 kinds of gun in a nutcase’s house?
No, we didn’t. Somebody set up a site devoted to the problem and I think one of the posts is the most realistic answer, but I have no way to verify it’s true.
Nice site, Marley - thanks. I wonder if that poster should ever appear at a Dopefest, would we just hound him for the answer? 
He’s a funny guy. I can’t spell his name but whatever this means I’m sure it’ll have an amusing base to it.
It’s 14 kinds of green in a Ford Paint Directory, btw.
( Okay, I’ll admit it’s a guess, but it seems a good un! )
14 Kinds of Gods in a Full Pantheon (of) Deities?
(zeus, poseidon, hades, apollo, hera, artemis, ares, athena, hephaestus, hestia, hermes, dionysus, aphrodite, demeter)
Is there any chance that the person who thought of it has made some mistake and rather than own up, has left us all floundering? Is the poster still active on the board?
I am the one who posted the above quote on www.14kofginafpd.com. I believe I copy/paste it from a post in the thread where the question was originally asked. I saved the quote in a txt file without keeping its author name. He/she didn’t offer an explanation off where it came from in their post. Sorry.
14 kilos of grass in a fully packed doobie?
Although that would be one seriously large joint.
The person who posted it here didn’t have the answers to the puzzle.
The site linked above is mine but I don’t know the answer either. Someone did send me this on Twitter the other day…
I think @baconpie is someone around here too; they asked the exact same “how do I learn to pilot a blimp” question that Cecil answered a few weeks ago.
I think the the 14 k g thing is “14 karats of gold”, but as for the f p d, I don’t have a clue.
But who’s to say that this didn’t appear on some other page during the infancy of the internet and it was just a red herring even then?
This does not escape the realm of possibility.
:dubious:
So???
Puff, puff, pass - Don’t park on the grass!
As I recall, the original thread was supposedly based off a question in a car magazine, so something automotive does seem like a best answer.
Note, a real answer to these sorts of things always has everyone going "Of course, that’s it!!". No answer to this has come close. Thus, either the original OP was trolling us, or he got it wrong.
And, often these quizes are repeated and re-printed, with the answer code somewhere. This has not been.
Thus, there is no answer. There are many things which will fit, but none are “the answer”.
Sorry.
The poster in question was mittu, whose last activity was more than two years ago.
14 kilos of gold in a festival prize draw.
Here is the original thread: 14 k of g in a f p d - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board
The phrase “karats of gold” does not make sense, so that can’t be part of the answer unless the teller screwed it up. Karats do not measure the weight of gold, they measure the amount of gold in a ring (on a scale of 24).