It was 19 years ago when i found The Straight Dope. My then wife and kids had just moved back home prior to our divorce and the sdmb (even though it would be years before i signed up) often provided me with a tiny measure of comfort and connection on those first horrible lonely nights. Right back there again this week as the soon to be ex current wife has moved out and we are starting the process of divorce.
Happy anniversary everybody, how was your week?
Sorry for what you’re going through right now (and back then), guestchaz.
I wasn’t one of the original folks who participated in the AOL version of the SDMB, but I was one of the first to sign up on this site, waaaay back in March of 1999. It’s been a semi-constant online companion of mine ever since.
I hate to hear that the column is bidding farewell to us all, but I’m glad the board itself will remain. I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have this place to visit from time to time.
guestchaz, hang tough.
I’m kinda sorta going thru something similar with wife of 24 years coming “home” Monday so we can negotiate our divorce. She’s leaving without the kids, so I’m very soon to be a single Dad of twins. Good thing but it’s gonna suck at times. C’est la vie.
Aw, man. What a bummer. Hold your head up.
[The Beatles] It was 19 years ago this month [/The Beatles]
…nah, not as catchy.
A lot better than it was in 1999. I would kill myself rather than go through that experience again.
I caught the tail-end of the AOL board. But when the board moved to the internet at large, my computer wasn’t fast enough to keep up with it. It was wanting to follow the SDMB that pushed me to learn about computers so I could install more RAM in my computer, and follow it to the bigger internet. And ditch AOL, thank goodness.
Sorry for your troubles, guestchaz.
19 years ago, I knew of the Straight Dope from the local artsy newspaper, but I was still fairly new to all this Intrarwebz stuff. I found and joined the board in Aug 2000.
As for my week - just another week. We need rain. That’s pretty much all.
Need to vent, and this seemed like the best and only place i can right now. my best friend and confidante who has been helping me through this is in the hospital, she had brain surgery this morning to remove a tumor.
I took my son to family counseling last night, and it was afterwards that he broke down and criedand said he’s been feeling sad and hiding it in order to help me out. That was expected by me at some point, but broke my heart all over again after finally getting onto an even keel emotionally this week. Back to sleepless nights and chewing toothpicks in a mostly fruitless attempt to not chain smoke.
I just don’t know what to do with myself in the evenings. Days aren’t so bad with work keeping me occupied enough mentally. Nights though, and this weekend when Guestling goes to stay with mom, this weekend terrifies me.
Maybe working on the house, all those mundane chores will be enough to keep me from thinking, but probably just stir up a lot of memories.
Well enough of that for now, just needed to get some of that out to someone, anyone, that isn’t my mom or dad.
So for those of you that read this and those of you that read my op and expressed sympathy, thank you,
Mu sympathies for you china guy, my son is going to live with me also, never been a single dad with primary custody before. Whole new world
Whelp, rather than start a new thread, I thought I’d drag this one out of its uneasy grave with an update and a correction.
First the correction, 19, well basically 20 now, years ago was when I started reading the column and lurking here. I checked it and it turns out I didn’t join until Obama was in office. It all blends together, why we invented writing I suppose.
Now the update.
I took Scoot The Guestling out for some dinner before the school carnival (a good time was had by all). While eating we were discussing some issues he was having with going to his mom’s house. I was explaining what they and I are and are not allowed to do regarding discipline and punishment, communication between him and me and his mom, plus a few other things pertaining to him directly and what he should do if <when> they violate the decree. He wanted to see it all in writing (good boy!) So I opened my email to show him the settlement proposal(relevant sections only) to find a new email with signed attachments from my attorney. It’s official as of 12 April 2019, I am divorced.
It’s a bittersweet feeling. Bitter in that this is not how I hoped it would be, and I thought we were really solid as a couple, until we weren’t and yadda yadda yadda on that. Sweet because it turns out she is a beautiful sexy charming unfaithful(serving Fek’lhr in Gre’thor is her fate I’m sure) utterly self centered bitch with no regard for anyone unless helping them serves her desires somehow who, while driven and scary smart, is made wholly predictable and stupid by her short narrow closeminded focus.
I am way better off without her.
Here, here! Better days to come, for you friend!
…
I’m sorry, guestchaz. I had a friend like that, attractive, sweet, and charming until someone didn’t serve her purposes any longer. She cheated on her husband with another friend’s husband. Her husband was a very nice man who never saw it coming.
I doubt there’s any comfort in knowing your ex will probably do it to her current guy, too. But I hope you come to terms with it all and find some peace soon. Your kid sounds amazing! At least you got him out of it!
My sympathies, guestchaz. I guess it’s not an uncommon event because I too was stabbed in the back by wife #1. Never saw it coming, I felt like a QB blind-sided by Lawrence Taylor. And we had been the happy and solid marriage in the family (I have 4 siblings). That was in 1999 and I’d been married 14 years, with 3 young’uns.
You might take comfort in knowing she’ll likely do the same with her current guy, but more importantly be there for your kid, and look up for good things to come. I eventually met a great girl and we married back in 2002. 17 years later and it is going great, wife version 2.0 is a significant upgrade over version 1.0, and I never knew it would be this good.
Hang in there!