I grabbed a few DVD’s on Friday for the weekend, one of which was 2 Fast 2 Furious…the first film wasn’t all that bad, but this sequel was truly horrible. It is seldom I turn off a DVD because it is so bad, but I got about 20 minutes into it and just had to stop.
Adding to the list, I also stupidly rented Legally Blonde 2…another mess.
Any other nominees for recent films no one need bother to rent?
In the same vein as 2F2F…Biker Boyz and XXX. Ick.
Also stay far away from Queen of the Damned and Freddie Got Fingered. I can usually find something in a movie to make it worth (in my mind) watching but these just leave a void in your soul after a single viewing.
Bad Boys 2
First one was somewhere between bad and acceptable, this one was just horrible.
Hollywood Homicide was pretty crap too… damn, I have been having bad luck with my movies lately.
Sweet Home Alabama. I tried it because the very sexy Josh Lucas plays Reese W’s love interest. The problem is, it hurts to see good actors wrestling with poorly-conceived characters and story arcs.
A couple of people told me that Bringing Down the House was surprisingly funny, so against my better judgment I rented it a couple of weeks ago.
Had to turn it off after twenty minutes. Tried to watch from that point the next day and only got another twenty minutes in before I could bear no more. Christ, what a shitty movie.
I’ll give you Bad Boys 2 and raise you Charlies Angels 2. Both truly, monumentally awful films.
I actually liked 2F2F though, I thought it was better than the first one.
The Truth About Charlie. I made the mistake of buying this piece of shit and it was the worst $14 I ever spent.
It’s not out on DVD yet, but I’m surprised nobody’s mentioned Gigli…
Teenage Caveman
I agree with Horseflesh about XXX. What a dumbass movie.
I’ll also add Druids, starring Christoher Lambert, a complete mess of a movie.
Ghost Ship. A movie so incompetent I can’t even tell what was supposed to be scary.
House of 1,000 Corpses. Started out as a good Texas CM knockoff then just got stupid. WIth a totally predictable ending.
Ghost Ship again.
Another Don’t-Rent-It! vote for (against?) Ghost Ship. Horrendously bad and not fun at all.
I’m afraid I kind of liked XXX.
I also liked The Fast and the Furious: I must admit that I have a weakness for Vin Diesel. But 2Fast2Furious was terrible. I saw it in the theaters, but hey–I wasn’t paying. It wasn’t actually painful, but I wouldn’t have wanted to pay money for it.
I rented Legally Blonde 2 this weekend as well. I actually liked the first one, in a guilty pleasure kind of way, but this? This was just stupid. I couldn’t believe they actually expected me to laugh at some of the jokes. And it’s not like I have particularly highbrow tastes in humor… just ick.
It was five minutes before the video store closed and in a rush I had the extreme misfortune to rent AVENGING ANGELO.
Take a good long look at this poster:
http://images.amazon.com/images/P/B00008UALG.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
Does that say romantic comedy to you? Holy fuck, what an awful movie. Yes, it IS Stallone’s worst. I know that’s really saying something, but trust me. Every inch of this movie sucked right down to the shitty and incredibly obnoxious Bill Conti score.
I watched “Fast Sofa” because it had some actors I like in it: Natasha Lyonne, Jennifer Tilly and Jake Busey. But it very quickly became evident that it was one of those movies where the director just gives the actors a situation and lets them improvise their lines. So every last scene rapidly became a scenery-chewing contest between the actors, generally culminating with lots of screaming and sobbing and shouting.
yech.
Y’know, there’s a reason most movies have scripts written by, get this, writers. Movies like this make that reason very evident.
Bulletproof Monk!!
It sounded really interesting in theory…but O.M.G… What were they thinking?
2Fast 2Furious contained some mildly interesting elements, though it was otherwise an incredible crapfest:
[ul][li]I like Cole Hauser just as I liked him in Tigerland. His dad, Wings Hauser, remains the prince of B-Movie supporting roles, though.[/li][li]Eva Mendes is seriously hot, and I find it somewhat interesting that Hispanic has become the “grey” of sexy roles, i.e. if an action movie wants broad appeal but not to offend too many people, it’s “safe” for a Latin female character to be romantically interested in a black male character or a white male character. As a follow-up, I have to point out how crushingly disappointed I was by Once Upon a Time in Mexico (which I’ll grudgingly admit is worth renting on the strength of Johnny Depp’s performance) which featured Mendes and Salma Hayek, and if there was ever an opportunity for major-league-hot Latina girl-on-girl action, this would have been it, but Mendes and Hayak didn’t have any scenes together. Tragic.[/li][li]When nitrous oxide is used in 2Fast 2Furious, there is a momentary “blurring” visual effect, suggesting that the Doppler Effect has kicked in, or that the gas is leaking into the driver’s compartment, or something.[/li][li]In one relay drag-race, the lead characters (driving some goofy-looking imports) are about to get their fiberglass asses kicked by “good old American muscle”, in the shape of a Charger and a Mustang. They only win by cheating. To me, this one scene completely invalidates all the glitzy image-conscious crap in the rest of the movie. You can look good with LED lighting and pastel paint jobs and lots of other crap, but when you’re racing, it’s only the basics that count. Similarly, you can make a movie that is chock-full of visually pleasing but empty bullshit, but if you want to make a good movie, you need basics like logic and direction, both of which are missing in 2Fast 2Furious.[/ul][/li]
Don’t get the impression I secretly liked 2Fast 2Furious. It sucked incredibly. But if you were ever looking to deconstruct a stereotypical action movie in the Miami Vice style (appearance counts for everything, substance counts for nothing), I can’t think of a better choice.
Easy:
Mr. Deeds
Other Sander movies are okay for mindless entertainment. This one was missing the entertainment portion.
Hollywood Homicide . Ouch.
Chiming in to add The Avengers, Mod Squad, and Rollerball. Are we seeing a pattern here? Leave it alone, Hollywood!
See, I sorta like Ghost Ship…I really like the sultry Portuguese(?) song at the beginning ballroom sequence. The rest of the movie is rather bland but not unbearably so. As for House of 1000 Corpses, sure it was a knockoff but it has some interesting visuals and I like the Captain Spaulding character. I kinda liked Sweet Home Alabama (okay chick flick) and Bulletproof Monk (strange action flick with Chow Yun-Fat).
Okay, Charlie’s Angels 2 was pretty awful, especially when Demi Moore showed up. Who said she could be an action heroine?