Bad movies that just aren't that bad

Cafe Society
1

A few months ago, I saw Best Worst Movie, which is a sweet little documentary on the people who made Troll 2, a film which has the honor of remaining at 0% on the Tomatometer. I meant to watch Troll 2 after that, but never got around to it. So last week I got my fiance to watch Best Worst Movie, so now I’ve seen it twice, and we then watched Troll 2.

Seriously, guys? This is NOT the world’s worst movie. Don’t get me wrong - it wasn’t great, it was laughable in many respects, I have seen Citizen Kane and you, sir, are no Citizen Kane. But the worst movie? Seriously?

Really, really bad movies are practically unwatchable because they’re BORING. Generally they have horrible pacing problems and make absolutely no sense. My ex was a filmmaker and made some very, very bad movies for people who decided they just HAD to make a movie and then have it edited the way they wanted it. You want to see a bad movie, watch one of those. Or watch The Room. (Seriously, go watch it. “Hello doggie!”)

Troll 2, unlike The Room for example, was made by people who had at least a basic understanding of the language of film. It certainly wasn’t boring, it made “sense” broadly defined (at any moment in the movie, you could have asked the people watching it with you what was going on and they’d be able to tell you who the people on screen were and what they were doing and roughly why), it had a beginning, and a middle, and an end. The child actor wasn’t even bad.

I can’t really tell how good or bad it was, though, because I’d been set up for it by the documentary - I wanted to like the actors because I liked the actors IRL, I wanted to see what happened to put context to the clips from the movie, etc. But really I think the reason I didn’t think it sucked so hard was that I’d been set up for it with “THIS IS THE WORST MOVIE EVER”. I didn’t go in cold, and that always has an effect on you.

So what did you go into being told it was SO BAD and come out thinking “Hey, that wasn’t awful at all!”

2

I believe “Titanic II” is the poster-child for this situation.

3

Congo.

It was briskly paced, there was plenty of action, it had some decent (if hammy) performances. Overall, it was a pretty harmless popcorn movie. But some people acted like it was an offense to humanity.

4

If you’re talkinbg about the movie with the monkeys and the lasers then yes, it truely is an abomination; An insult to anyone forced to endure it.

5

Freddy Got Fingered I laughed my ass off.

Showgirls I laughed my ass off.

Son in Law Loved it.

And looking at the Rotten Tomatoes 0% list, of the ones I’ve seen:

Firewalker Chuck Norris. Lou Gossett, Jr. That’s all I need to hear.

Return of the Killer Tomatoes! It just works on so many levels!

Hot to Trot Bobcat Goldthwait. Dabney Coleman. Talking horse (John Candy). I’m in.

No Holds Barred Hulk Hogan, taking on the risky role of a professional wrestler. Brilliant.

Only the Strong Marc Dacascos, probably most famous as “The Chairman” on Iron Chef America, takes a class of high school thugs and teaches them capoeira, presumably because they ended up in the “fuck-ups” class because they didn’t know how to fight.

6

After producing and putting on shows, I have become immensely tolerant of deficiencies in the work of others, and can appreciate the story about the possibly apocryphal studio head who applauded any film he saw, on the basis that the damned thing even got made.
Ed Wood’s opera may be bad, but they were technically “clean”, well-lit, and the sound was good. His dialogue may not have been well-written, but it was clear what was going on and what the motivations of the characters were. Some of the scenes are actually impressively staged – Tor Johnson rising from the dead is really pretty good. the scenes of Vampira and Bela (actually, Ed’s chiropractor) in the graveyard scared the heck out of me as a kid.

I’ve seen plenty of movies that I couldn’t say all of that about. Have a look at Larry Buchanan’s muddy, unclear, and poor sound-quality remakes of bad 1950s film, like Attack of the Eye Creatures, for comparison.
Bert I. Gordon’s works are models of low-budget schlock, but I’ve come to appreciate how economically he could make and market a film, and make it look like it cost an awful lot more.

I just re-watched George Pal’s Atlantis, the Lost Continent. This film gets a lot of flak, but, considering that it was made without a complete script (during a Writer’s Strike) and that it had a rotten budget (forcing Pal to crib scenes from at least three other movies, and use sets and costumes from other MGM productions), it looks a helluva lot better than it has a right to. Some of the effects work is awful, but some scenes – like the Atlantean Shp Arrival at Atlantis – still look damned good.

7

Yeah, that reminds me that I was surprised at how bad Plan 9 from Outer Space wasn’t. For me, the hallmarks of a truly bad bad movie are:

a) It’s boring and drags on and on and on
b) It’s technically incompetent, so you can’t hear or see what’s going on
c) It doesn’t make any sense - who are these people and what are they doing?

8

The Island of Dr. Moreau with Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer. I watched in the theater twice.

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I thought The Island of Dr. Moreau with Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer was severely underappreciated.

10

Huh, I thought it was Birdemic. Awesome footage. I’d also like to give a shout-out to The Amazing Bulk, though I’ve only seen the trailer. Frankly, that’s enough.

I agree that a truly awful movie isn’t just bad or badly made, it’s boring. To that end, I nominate Gerry for the title of “Worst Movie Ever.”

As for “ostensibly-bad movies that you enjoy”, the top of the heap for me is probably Cutthroat Island. Such a massive failure that it single-handedlly bankrupted Canon Pictures, yet I love it. Pirates! Gold! Swords! Cannons! A monkey! What else you want!!

11

What was that movie with the real blowjob? The Brown Bunny. That was the worst movie ever. I believe Ebert said it was something like “A man drives across country and they film it, real time.” Even the blowjob wasn’t hot and by then the pacing was soooooooooooooooooooooooooo tedious I was out of my mind with boredom.

12

Waterworld

I’d heard so much for so long about what a horrible movie this was that I’d avoided it. I finally watched it a few years ago when the SO was given a copy on DVD.

It’s Road Warrior except with a water desert rather than a dry desert.

I wouldn’t call it a great film, but it was a fine mindless afternoon’s entertainment.

13

I liked the recent G.I. Joe movie. Not ironically or so bad it’s good. I just liked it. I have hopes for the sequel as well.

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Remember the thread title asks only for movies that aren’t THAT bad, not for movies that are actually very good.

Gigli has been treated as one of the worst movies ever made. In my opinion, it’s not NEARLY as bad as that. In my opinion, it was an ordinary sub-par movie that got MUCH more venomous reviews than it deserved simply because EVERYBODY (including me) was sick to death of hearing about Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez.

15

I didn’t think that The Postman deserved all the hate it got.

16

Ishtar. It’s getting a critical reappraisal these days, but is not a bad movie overall, and some of it (the first 20 minutes; the arms auction scene) is excellent. There are flaws, of course – the middle section (from when they go to Ishtar until they buy the camel) is draggy, and the ending is rushed – but there’s plenty to like (including the songs, which are hilarious). The movie was hated because it was so expensive (for the time) and you didn’t see why. Critics reviewed the price tag and it became a joke. But it’s overall a pretty good film.

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The Super Mario Bros Movie. Yes it makes no sense in the context of the games (but making a serious movie of the games would suck). It’s fun. It makes sense. It’s funny.

Wild Wild West with Kevin Kline and Will Smith. Another good popcorn flick.

18

Dances With Wolves. (I can’t help noticing that Ed Wood and Kevin Costner are about tied for mentions int his thread!)

I heard it was a long drawn-out poorly acted non-story. I loved every moment of it. I found the scenery breathtaking, the story compelling, and the acting mostly quite good.

19

10,000 BC

I just saw it, and it was entertaining, some good effects and cinematography. Not great cinema, but entertaining if you can suspend disbelief on a lot of historical errors.

20

Is this a whoosh? It won Best Picture, Best Cinematography, Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Director, Best Sound, Best Original Score, and Best Film Editing, beating out Goodfellas in many of those categories. Goodfellas!!!