I’d like to get a sample of opinions here. What are the worst movies of all time? I’m talking about movies that are so awful, so hideous, that they are almost good.
Please don’t include “B” movies like “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” or something like that. I’m looking for movies that were trying to be decent, but were just plain bad.
My worst three:
Opinions?
“I never lie, but I don’t always say what I’m thinking.”
ENC Heel
I think the movie I enjoyed the least was One Good Cop with Michael Keaton. It was terrible.
One movie would be Mosquito Coast with Harrison Ford (I think it was him). It was just silly.
Mortal Kombat is good that way. So bad it’s hilarious.
I’ve got one on the tip of my tongue… I’ll let you know…
“C’mon, it’s not even tomorrow yet…” - Rupert
If you need a graphic solution, http:\ alk.to\Piglet
Well, up until last night I would’ve backed off this one, but:
“Kiss Her Goodbye” (1958). See my MPSIMS thread titled “I Just Saw The WORST Movie . . .” for more on this tasty little bon-bon.
I think the all time worst was the HowardHughes-produced flop “THE CONQUERER”, starring John Wayne, Dick Powell, and many others (who wished they hadn’t).This flick was so bad that Hughes never released it! I was always curious about it, and finally AMC had it on-what a piece of garbage! (though it’s really hilarious with Wayne trying to sound like Ghengi Khan). Somebody told me that most of the actors later died of cancer, due to the fact that the movie was shot near the atom bomb test site in Nevada!
Striptease
Spice World
“Towering Monolith Monsters” (I think)
Crystalguy
Ok for the most depressing syrupy movie of all time I vote for “Valley of the Dolls”
uggh
“Look honey, there’s the little dipper, I’d show you the big dipper but my zipper is stuck.”
-aha
There are two that really stick out in my mind.
“Wolf” starring Jack Nicholson
“The Mod Squad” starring Claire Daines
By far, the worst movie plots of all time. I actually watched them completely to see if they got any more ridiculous, and I wasn’t disappointed.
Actually, I think “Striptease” was trying to be campy.
[list][li]Now “Showgirls” was trying to be serious. It just failed. Even though there were undoubtedly more nude scenes of Elizabeth Berkley, I couldn’t watch very much of it; my gag reflex was going into overdrive.[/li]
What should have warned me of its badness was the “Tonight Show” interview of Berkley. What a freakin’ airhead! And they cast her as the smart girl Jesse on Saved by the Bell!? She was explaining how artful and tasteful Showgirls was.
Everybody got to elevate from the norm - Rush
Oh, and after Wiggum mentioned Jack Nicholson:
“Man Trouble”.
Everybody got to elevate from the norm - Rush
Godzilla (the most recent version)
Rocky V or VI (which ever was last)
Jaws III my personal worst
Maybe not the worst of all time but pretty darn bad, last summer’s “Wild, Wild West.” The only good thing we could think of to say about it was that it wasn’t longer.
If you’re talking movies you most wish you could wipe from your memory, my vote is for Anaconda. Just ghastly.
For movies that are so bad they’re good, the kind you turned into cult favourites briefly in your late teens, and may have watched (over and over again) in altered states, I’d say Roller Blade (1985).
Taglines:
Skate or die!
Curvaceous Crusaders Battle to Rebuild a Shattered Land
Roller Blade was made before inline skates were known outside of summer hockey practice, and the title refers to the rollerskates (4 wheels each foot) the combat nuns wear and the blades they brandish. As your standard habit is none to revealing, for their fight scenes, our heroines wear combat spandex, which often makes its way off by the end of the scene. Plus there are the nude hottub initiation scenes in the convent. Apparently, a habit shares the undergarments of a kilt. Truly a so-bad-it’s-great film.
There are no vital and significant forms of art; there is only art, and precious little of that.
-Raymond Chandler
Happiness and Seven are tied for movie that made me feel worst. I mean, they made me feel so bad I didn’t even know how bad they were. I guess if their intent was to make me feel like crap for days, they were very effective.
“Solarbabies”
Everybody got to elevate from the norm - Rush
A couple of weeks ago I ran across “Tommy” (yes, the Who’s rock opera) with Roger Daltrey, Ann-Margaret, Oliver Reed, Elton John and a host of others.
Horrifingly, fascinatingly, devastatingly BAD!!! The experience was like slowing down to gawk at a fatal car wreck. Although I have to admit, Pinball Wizard with Elton John was somewhat entertaining.
Yes, TOMMY is definitely up there as one of the worst, and it’s often overlooked on these lists.
It’s funny that a couple on this list were perfectly good movies. WOLF was quite good and ISTAR was badly underrated (it was a nice little comedy, but most people reviewed the price tag, not what was on the screen). MONOLITH MONSTERS is also generally well regarded, though I haven’t seen it.
Some really bad ones:
SPACE MUTINY. Looks like they shot two different movies (the two main stars never appear on screen together) and, when they discovered they didn’t have enough material, added a completely irrelevant series of scenes about space witches. The plot didn’t make the slightest sense, the special effects were taken from another movie (literally), and the woman killed by the villain turns up fine in the very next scene.
MITCHELL – not even MST3K could make this interesting.
ALIEN – Stupid people being killed purely due to their own idiocy.
TOMMY – Loud and terminally stupid. Ken Russell has no sense of humor and shows everything completely literally.
THE MASTER GUNFIGHTER – Tom Laughlin’s worst film, which says lots.
STARSHIP TROOPERS – Bad SF, with a poor plot and incredibly dumb characters. “It’s OK because I had you.” Right. See http://www.sff.net/people/DoyleMacdonald/r_startro.htp for a review.
GODZILLA – also stupid.
“East is east and west is west and if you take cranberries and stew them like applesauce they taste much more like prunes than rhubarb does.” – Marx
Read “Sundials” in the new issue of Aboriginal Science Fiction. www.sff.net/people/rothman
I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it 'til the day I die:
Far and away, the worst movie I’ve ever seen is Far and Away starring Mr. Tom “I think I can act but I’m fooling myself.” Cruise.
Retch.
P.S. Ishtar is one of the best movies ever made.
Someone once recommended that I watch By The River’s Edge because the director graduated from the high school I went to. Ugh! It was so bad. Don’t watch it, it’s not even funny.
I hated “Bad Girls.”
It was a Drew Barrymore vehicle from
('94?), set in the wild west, about
a group of prostitutes turned vigilante
cowgirls.