I actually LOL’d at that.
Hey, with a good script he could be FOD
Thread winner.
Agreed, that was horrifying.
The ones that can actually happen are way worse than the zombie stuff.
I always thought it would make a nice real-estate ad. 
There’s an apartment building named “Hill House” on Capitol Hill. If they ever use that quote in their ads, I’m moving there.
Lest you think I’m kidding - http://www.borgermanagementinc.com/hill-house/ . It actually looks quite nice. Great location - the units themselves are a trifle grim, but that’s not inappropriate, given the name.
(Adapted from one of my favorite jokes, once upon a time.)
As before, George wondered how the prostitute could sing and perform fellatio at the same time. Then the lightning flashed outside, and he saw the glass eyeball on the table.
{perfect! :eek: }
He knew at that moment that the resonant qualities of her skull must perfect and that he must have it. He must have her skull.
At long last, the network television executive had reached the pinnacle of his career and was tasked with filling a dozen or so 1 hour time slots with shows of his choice. Lets see, he wondered, how many ways can I have people with medium to no talent constantly arguing with each other while getting eliminated from the show and the announcer pausing for 10 to 15 seconds between each announcement just to build the tension. iiiiieeeeeeeee…
:eek:
Obviously, the owner is not a literary sort. **Or is s/he? **
You know that strange taste you sometimes get in your mouth when you wake up?
Raw spider.
Most spiders are relatively harmless to humans. Most.
The Sharknado was approaching from the east. From the west came the jellyfish tsunami.
I chose bachelor #2. Out walked O.J. Simpson
I chose bachelorette #2. Out walked Lorena Bobbit.
OK, someone please explain.
I had laughed and said “Good one, Bro!” when he asked me if I’d heard the one about the cannibal who passed his brother on the trial. It wasn’t until I shouldered my backpack that I began to doubt whether he really should have been released.
Board meme. Read, and enjoy. Not many people know that... - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board
His warm eyes crinkled as he smiled happily at me and said, “I’m so glad you’re here at last.” Then, still smiling, he glanced over my shoulder and nodded – and I felt the cold lips on the back of my neck.
He was giving the bedroom a long-needed spring cleaning when he found the cellar key, long missing, fallen behind a chest of drawers. Later that morning he opened the door for the first time in years, and even as he stood frozen – staring at the tumbled shape on the floor below, recognizing her hair and her clothes, and the wedding ring he had given her on its skeletal finger – he heard his wife behind him saying, “What are you doing?”
Nice -