I was sitting at my dining room table, clipping coupons. My daughter was almost 2 months old, and almost 6 pounds.
My husband told me that he was a methadone addict. We owed everyone money, we were in danger of losing our house, we didn’t have a dime to our names. He had spent the last of his trust fund on drugs, every bill was due, I was on maternity leave and unfit for work for several weeks.
Tomorrow, he will have been clean for 2 years. He did the 90 in 90 with Narcotics Anonymous, spent 22 hours in the emergency room watching people in worse shape than him, he detoxed at home. He has a job back in the tech field. He is better now, than he was before the drugs.
We had to sell one of our cars to save our home. Most of any of our belongings that were worth anything we sold. He’s worked side jobs and we’ve all done without.
It’s been a very, very long 2 years. On Oct 20th, we got a 2nd car. On Oct 17th (a week early) we made the last repayment plan payment to get our house out of any danger of foreclosure for the first time in 3 years. My car payments are almost caught up. This month, there is food in the kitchen. We are stocked up on diapers and wipes. I was able to go shopping for my daughter and buy her age appropriate toys and clothes.
I’m sitting here, drinking a beer, watching a movie and looking at my husband and am amazed at what he has done, how much he had to change to have me sitting here, not wanting to be anywhere else. Thinking about how much he truly loves his daughter now, now that she can come first.
Most folks, including my family, think he is destined to be a scum bag forever. It hasn’t been an easy path we’ve taken. The lessons he learned as an addict had to be unlearned. I am reminded of when my brother went to prison. He had two years away from society, away from responsibility to get his mind right. My husband had to get his mind and body right while working 14 hours a day doing plumbing work. While listening to his broken hearted wife cry. While looking at his daughter. There were no blinders for him. He took it all.
He’s done it with class too.
Today, we have tossed the shackles that have bound us for so long. We can breathe. There is peace and love in our home and in our marriage and in our family. I never thought I would see this day. Ever. Two years is an eternity when you are just struggling to get through the next hour.
sigh
