20 wacky sex laws in the U.S.: Are you breaking any?


RE #5: Who is enforcing this? The Texas Dildo Patrol?

#11: Who’s gonna tell the moose? Did a mass moose memo go out?

#15: Who’s counting?

These lists are usually fake. Either obsolete laws, or unenforced, or superseded (just like the US still has Prohibition in the Constitution), or “Texas” means Podunk, Texas, population 22.

ETA: And some, like #14 “Necrophilia is legal” almost certainly means that they don’t explicitly forbid that, not that they say it’s okay. If you had your way with a corpse, I’m sure the Parish authorities would find something to jail you for.

Or 19: First cousin marriages? “Alamaba” doesn’t automatically dissolve marriages that would normally be illegal if someone gets married elsewhere and moves to Alabama?

I’m wondering if the lizard-kissing warning is more about salmonella than sex.

According to the Texas Penal Code (“Penal” Ha!):

Apparently, however, they are still allowed to elect them to public office.

Necrophilia and the Law


Almost certainly.

All that “bestiality is legal” or “necrophilia is legal” means is that the state never passed a law against it. My state, for instance, didn’t have a law against bestiality until 2006, because the matter had never come up until then. That doesn’t mean the entire state was a free-for-all of people engaging in acts of wanton carnality with the population of Old McDonald’s Farm - it simply came to pass that a rather high-profile case of a man dying as the result of sex with a horse resulted in people realizing there wasn’t a law, and pushing to create one.

Hey, show some respect. Do you have any idea how hard Grandpa had to work for years to find a gay stallion?

e-i-e-i oh!

Writing about the Great Texas Dildo Limitation, Molly Ivins remarked that “possession of six or fewer means that you are a mere enthusiast.”

I can assure you that at least some of these must be real:


The one in Alhambra matches the one in the city where I live. The cops here tickets vehicles left on the street without a permit–between 2 and 4am.

I wouldn’t really call a parking ban that wacky…

Overnight parking restrictions are very, very common all over North America. I don’t see what’s wacky about them at all. They may be annoying, but something so ubiquitous can’t be wacky.

I thought every city had them, but I’ve gotten some raised eyebrows from people when I’ve told them about ours.

The story of a wife and mom in Texas who hosted “schtupperware” parties where she sold sex toys and was subsequently arrested for doing so is nicely documented in the movie Passion and power: The technology of orgasm.

Thankfully, the inhabitants of Washington State, will now know for sure that you are not supposed to do that.

Still not getting why selling sex toys, especially at private parties, should be against the law at all.

"It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale." – I’ve been running across this crazy trivia since early childhood. Any truth to this law? Because my Cessna 208A is warming up at the airfield, my rifle’s loaded and I’m jonesing for my ambergris fix…

It doesn’t look good:



#1 is dead wrong and silly. Many states required premarital blood tests for STDs. If you failed, you had to be cured. But you were allowed to marry once you could provide a clean test, and most people felt that getting cured was probably the better option. Once cured, you could reapply. It didn’t prevent you from getting married; it just delayed it.

Most states have repealed that requirement – including Nebraska.

And adultery is not illegal in New York (Eliot Spitzer, for one, would have gone to jail for it if he did). Adultery was for many years the sole grounds for divorce in New York, though; the law was expanded in the 60s as lawmakers realized that people would fake adultery (hire someone to be the co-respondent) or get divorced in Nevada.

13. INDIANA: It is illegal for a man to be sexually aroused in public.

Indiana, like many states, did a massive overhaul of its laws decades ago. Most things sexual are no longer illegal here.

To be sure, we still have some embarrassingly stupid laws. We are Indiana, after all.