38: Post enough Smilies to slow the board to a crawl. If one’ll do, post two. If thirty-five’ll do, post 50.
Make pretty pictures using hundreds of them. Answer a solitary smiley post with another smiley post. Whenever you see a ChiefScott post, put a smiley behind 'im effectively kicking him in the crotch.
- Post every one of your posts at least twice. Or three or four times.
- Post everything more than once.
I thought chocolate would do the trick just fine really, but I suppose that’s just a joke as well, oh well, no chocolate for the mods then…
41. If the Boards are moving too slowly, hit the “Submit Reply” key repeatedly, then act really surprised when your post appears twice. (They get really tickled if you get a rare triple post from this!)
42. Don’t use the “Preview” button: you got it right the first time (well, pretty sure you did) and besides, you don’t have time if you are going to simulpost with someone then reply with “Wow! A simulpost!” Act surprised, but don’t worry if the whole rest of the post is boldly underlined; the mods can always fix it later if you brerate yourself
43. Use “New Thread” instead of “Post Reply”. Act surprised if you used the wrong button and started a new thread with a reply; the mods have lots of time to fix it later.
After actually previewing this post…
41a. Spend a lot of time typing so you end up repeating what someone else has just posted before you and you end up looking like a copycat.
(Good one, Annie-Xmas!)
**Sock Puppets:**Everybody loves sock puppets.
[sub]Let’s see if we can get this right.[/sub]
44. Sock Puppets: Everybody loves sock puppets.
nominate every single thread, past, present or future, for Theadspotting. Be sure to include all locked threads and any thread started by WallyM7. TubaDiva your Humble Administrator loves those e-mails and will often send you a very nice reply.
Always say “Thank You” when someone flatters you, and see #15.
46. Type like Anny X-
Mas used to type before
2,768 people told her to
knock it off because it
was as amusing as cutting
of ones penis with a rusty
breadknife.
When a Mod closes your thread, post a couple of threads in the bar be q pit saying WHY was my thread closed??
**Hey, it works! Coldfire
noticed me, Annie-Lorna
Bobbit-Xmas. **
- Get totally wrapped up with one thread and post 2,768 replies to it.
And here’s the best way for a moderator to get the attention of a poster: Change their password. Repeatedly.
Now, who feels they are lacking attention?
Start a Moderator Fan Club! Makes 'em feel good. But don’t tell them about the Stalker’s Auxilliary. Moderators do so love surprises!
-
Be sure and use lots of insults in any forum except the Pit. Use colorful profanities and be sure and call everyone you disagree with names. Nothing livens up a good debate like the words STupid Dummy PeeHead.
(stupid dummy peehead was what my sister used to call everyone when she got mad when she was little) -
Make lots of threads in the Pit about how the Mods are out to get you. Call them Fascist Pigs. Moderators like to know when they overstep their bounds.
-
Make your signature extra long. Moderators LOVE it when you slow down the SMDB.
-
Make losts of posts in GD incquiring how to break laws. The mods really appreciate it when they’re supoened by the cops.
Include the phrase “Quick, see this before the mods do!!!”
in your thread title.
As remarkably silly and simple and petty as this one is compared to the others, I vow to use it on all my posts. They will get a good laugh at it. Maybe I will surround it with smiles just so they know it is a joke, as well as not some dumbass who can’t spell.
Actually, lets mispell their names in a way that it becomes funnier. For example:
Manhattan…Manhardon.
Of course, I am asking for it. I have thought of a few for my own.
Oh, and ps – I may be cool, but that JillGat is smokin’HOT!
(Just thought I’d edit in what he was really thinking… because I can. - Jill)
[Edited by JillGat on 05-16-2001 at 03:23 PM]
I will never, ever, need to cuss again.
I do however, need stitches on my forehead from banging it on the desk in a desperate effort to muffle the howls.
And maybe a tongue transplant…
thanks for all the great advise! seeing as how i’m a newbie around here i’ll be sure and put all of this information to work – everyday.
now how was it that i make this post come up two… three… four times?
i think i need a PHD to figure out vB codes…