I figure McCain probably didn’t waste his time preparing anything, so I am expecting a deer in the headlight look with mouth agape if he wins.
But I would love it if Obama dropped the tired old “My fellow Americans…” greeting and instead addressed the crowd as “Comrads…”. I would really get a kick out of that.
So what would you like to see in the 2008 Presidential acceptance speech?
(I put this in the Pit so everyone could feel free to be candid)
These have been posted before, but I like:
Where da white wimmen at? and
'scuse me while I whip this out…
I must’ve missed that thread. But WTF, let’s do it again. I’m trying to kill time until they call some of the swing states.
Would be cool if McCain, in the midst of his acceptance speech started having crushing chest pain, or a sharp radiating pain running down his arm, or perhaps an aneurysm.
Obama: “God Damn America!”
A bullet point summary of my ideal Obama victory speech: [ul]
[li] Kick off with a brief reading of selected excerpts from the Communist Manifesto.[/li]
[li] Move into an extended breakdown of heretofore undisclosed plans to massively increase taxes on working Americans to fund the construction of a massive fleet of cadillacs for teenage welfare mothers, followed by the summary execution of Joe the plumber, just to prove a point.[/li]
[li] A “Dean Scream”. [/li]
[li] The forced conversion to Islam of Dakota Fanning.[/li]
The unmasking of Obama as General Krull from galactic quadrant 12459G, and the forced co-option of Planet Earth into the Socialist alliance of Alpha-centauri.[/ul]
I’d like something a little classier, but highly passive-aggressive. Something along the lines of reading the Constitution and Bill of Rights. Then follow it up with, “And unlike the current administration, I intend to follow what they say rather than shitting on them”.
-Joe
Obama, “Workers of the World, all I have to say is: There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is his Prophet.”
McCain, “You can say I’m desperate, even call me perverted But you say I’m a dog when I leave you fucked and deserted…”
"Allow me to introduce you to my cabinet:
Secretary of State Lil’ Wayne
Secretary of the Treasury 50 Cent
Secretary of Defense HOVA (aka: Jay Z)
Attorney General Soulja Boy"
Then we’d watch all the white women faint. It’d be awesome.
Heh. My first thought was, “Allāhu Akbar.”
(Apologies to any Muslims if I got that wrong. I took it off Wikipedia.)
C’mon, guys, Obama can’t say any of those things tonight.
He’ll have to wait until Inauguration Day–once he’s been legally sworn in (one hand on the Koran and his Secret Third Hand on the Necronomicon), then he will have the full mystic powers of the Presidency in accordance with the Constitution, and then he can reveal his true self.
I’m waiting for a bitter inauguration day rant from the Reverend Jeremiah Wright when he finds out that all of his years of preaching to Obama in church were wasted because he’s secretly been a Muslim all along.
Nice. :rolleyes:
I’m Kid_A and I endorse Lil’ Wayne’s candidacy for Secretary of State.
Oooh, that didn’t come out right. I meant that he would **feign **those things as a joke during his speech, not that he’d really keel over. I blame the booze.
But I give Obama’s speech a 9.9. He’d have a perfect 10 if he had signed off with “And may Allah bless the United States of Amerikkka”
And McCain’s speech should have included at least one angry “Wake up White People!”. Other than that obvious oversight, it was okay.
No. What would be cool would have been if McCain, for his concession speech, had said:
“I actually didn’t want to be President anyway. I just wanted the opportunity to do this” (grabs Sarah Palin, plants a big smooch on her lips)
[quote=“George_Kaplin, post:4, topic:471180”]
A bullet point summary of my ideal Obama victory speech: [ul]
[li] Kick off with a brief reading of selected excerpts from the Communist Manifesto.[/li]
[li] Move into an extended breakdown of heretofore undisclosed plans to massively increase taxes on working Americans to fund the construction of a massive fleet of cadillacs for teenage welfare mothers, followed by the summary execution of Joe the plumber, just to prove a point.[/li]
[li] A “Dean Scream”. [/li]
[li] The forced conversion to Islam of Dakota Fanning.[/li]
[li] The unmasking of Obama as General Krull from galactic quadrant 12459G, and the forced co-option of Planet Earth into the Socialist alliance of Alpha-centauri.[/ul][/li][/QUOTE]
Except, obviously, for the forced conversion to Islam of Dakota Fanning (Alpha-centaurians are decidedly not Mohammedan), this is actually my planned acceptance speech in 12 years. Where did you get my notes, Earthman?
McCain:
(Okay, unlike some people here, I don’t hate McCain THAT much, but it was too good an opportunity to pass up that link)
Obama:
"My fellow Americans, many have called me a Muslim, a Communist. I can not tell a lie, I vehemently declared these things false. It is with great relief that I say that you did not figure out my true secret, which I would have been forced to reveal. I am part of an ancient race, older than humanity itself, submit to me and you will be spared the madness of a crumbling society, you will be killed first. Remember, that is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange aeons even death may die. Any that fear for their sanity and sparing their loved ones torment repeat after me: “Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn. Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn.”
When he talked about the new puppy I wish he would have said "We’re getting a pit bull puppy and we’re going to call her ‘Lipstick’ ".
Kinda more along the opposite of the title (a concession speech), but I think I found the one SOME of McCain’s supporters wanted him to hear.
http://www.cracked.com/video_16768_if-mccains-concession-speech-was-as-bitter-as-his-campaign.html
