Plain List:
James Earl Jones
Willie Nelson
Donald Sutherland
Kris Kristofferson
Brian Mulroney
Eric Clapton
OJ Simpson
Val Kilmer
Ghislaine Maxwell
Charlie Sheen
Shannen Doherty
Elliot Page
6ix9ine
Alternates:
Jack Nicholson
Morgan Freeman
Keith Richards
Annotated List:
Note I’m not particularly rooting for anyone here to expire, I’ll simply be unsurprised if they do.
James Earl Jones - Voice of Vader (1/17/1931)
Willie Nelson - Singer/Songwriter/Pothead (4/29/1933)
Donald Sutherland - Actor (7/17/1935)
Kris Kristofferson - Singer/Actor (6/22/1936)
Brian Mulroney - Former Canadian Prime Minister (3/20/1939)
Here’s my list. My alternate is that guy who sings for The Wanted.
Thom Tillis
Cheri Jacobus
Jack Hanna
Ghislaine Maxwell
Joe Turkel
Joe Exotic
Donald Trump
George Zimmerman
John Daly
Olivia Newton-John
Barry Manilow
Sarah Palin
Eric Clapton
Alan Arkin
Joe Biden
James Caan
Cher
Harry Connick Jr
Bob Dylan
Ron Jeremy
Lindsay Lohan
Bob Newhart
Jack Nicholson
Linda Ronstadt
William Shatner
Loretta Swit
Robert Redford
Woody Allen
Noam Chomsky
Nick Nolte
Loretta Lynn
Gloria Steinem
Ralph Nader
Barbara Walters
Fran Lebowitz
Shirley MacLean
Joni Mitchell
Dick Cavett
Clive Davis
Alternates
Clint Eastwood
Courtney Love
Barbara Eden
Linda Ronstadt
Nichelle Nichols
Bob Barker
Henry Kissinger
William Shatner
Val Kilmer
Rupert Murdoch
Alan Alda
Jimmy Carter
Dan Rather
Dick Van Dyke
Tony Bennett
Queen Elizabeth II
Jerry Lee Lewis
Bill Cosby
Roselyn Carter
Jimmy Carter
Pat Boone
Tina Turner
Margaret Atwood
Joni Mitchell
Joe Namath
Shelley Duvall
Joan Didion
Mike Ditka
Marge Piercy
Tom Parker
Alan Alda
George Perez
Ted Kaczynski
Linda Nolan
Don Wildmon
Jimmy Carter
Nick Bollettieri
Doyle Brunson
Bob Newhart
Henry Kissinger
Sacheen Littlefeather
John Madden
Due to the passing of Joan Didion I need to replace her with alternate Richard Simmons and add Donna Leon as the second alternate. I would hope I don’t need two alternates at this point but one never knows! Thanks.
Jerry Lee Lewis
Bill Cosby
Roselyn Carter
Jimmy Carter
Pat Boone
Tina Turner
Margaret Atwood
Joni Mitchell
Joe Namath
Shelley Duvall
Richard Simmons
Mike Ditka
Marge Piercy
Another change: dump the tanTrump, everybody has him anyway, substitute by point-richer Ivanka:
Rupert Murdoch
Elon Musk
Ivanka Trump
George W. Bush
Keith Richards
Vladimir Putin
Edson Arantes do Nascimento, “Pelé”
Mario Vargas Llosa
Shane MacGowan
John Cleese
Silvio Berlusconi
Emerson Fittipaldi
Charles de Ganahl Koch
While I understand that there are still six days and change left in the year, and it is theoretically possible that a number of my picks could all end up on a plane together that crashes on a South Pacific island, my list generated exactly zero points in 2021. Therefore, I’m going with the time-tested strategy of letting my list ride for 2022. Hopefully (and unfortunately for the souls on my list) my luck changes next year.
Shannen Doherty (American actress)
Michael Schumacher (retired German F1 racecar driver)
Eddie Murphy (American actor/comedian)
John Travolta (American actor/Scientology advocate)
Harvey Weinstein (American former film producer and general scumbag)
Ozzy Osbourne (British rock musician)
Dick Wolf (American television producer)
John Madden (American football coach and television commentator)
Bill Cosby (American comedian, former television personality, and another scumbag)
Berry Gordy (American music executive)
Ted Turner (American television executive)
Carl Bernstein (American journalist)
Robert Smith (British rock musician)
Alternates:
Kim Jong-un (North Korean dictator)
Julian Assange (Australian activist)
Kanye West (American hip hop musician)
CLEAN LIST
Shannen Doherty
Michael Schumacher
Eddie Murphy
John Travolta
Harvey Weinstein
Ozzy Osbourne
Dick Wolf
John Madden
Bill Cosby
Berry Gordy
Ted Turner
Carl Bernstein
Robert Smith
Alternates:
Kim Jong-un
Julian Assange
Kanye West
ANNOTATED LIST:
Shannen Doherty (American actress)
Michael Schumacher (retired German F1 racecar driver)
Eddie Murphy (American actor/comedian)
John Travolta (American actor/Scientology advocate)
Harvey Weinstein (American former film producer and general scumbag)
Ozzy Osbourne (British rock musician)
Dick Wolf (American television producer)
John Madden (American football coach and television commentator)
Bill Cosby (American comedian, former television personality, and another scumbag)
Berry Gordy (American music executive)
Ted Turner (American television executive)
Carl Bernstein (American journalist)
Robert Smith (British rock musician)
Alternates:
Kim Jong-un (North Korean dictator)
Julian Assange (Australian activist)
Kanye West (American hip hop musician)
Ok here goes my second year
Liz steps up to the first team, and I thought the fuck stick might get a start after the much celebrated retirement from the game by Rush Limbaugh, but Kissenger was available and the transfer window was still open. It was tough to waive that opportunity, not many points but as the saying goes around here , ‘points is points’ . So Donny gets benched for another year.
Betty stays on the reserves and is joined by Peter Jackson, the director, who is a bit of an outside the box option, but he sounded just awful on the interview with Colbert, and I am hoping being on a list keeps him alive. That might even get him a starter role as the coaches review the line up.
Clean list
Jimmy Carter
Bob Newhart
Jeff Bridges
Shane MacGowen
Alan Alda
Michael J Fox
Queen Elizabeth II
Pope Benedict XVI
Dick Cheney
Mitch McConnell
Henry Kissinger
Harvey Weinstein
Ghislaine Maxwell
Buzz Aldrin (original moonwalker)
Jimmy Carter (nuclear peanut farmer and construction worker)
Tommy Chong (stoner)
Kenneth Copeland (false prophet)
Clint Eastwood (chairtalker)
Kimberly Guilfoyle (yeller)
Henry Kissinger (jackass)
Sandy Koufax (southpaw)
Loretta Lynn (coalminer’s daughter)
Robert Mercer (rich jerk)
William Shatner (JT & TJ)
Donald Trump (con man)
Elizabeth Windsor (namesake to ships)
Alternates -
Steve Bannon (human potato)
Bill Cosby (rapist)
Al Jaffee (very unserious guy)
As always: here is a clean list, without commentary, lest the Death Spores infest me and shrivel my loins:
Buzz Aldrin
Jimmy Carter
Tommy Chong
Kenneth Copeland
Clint Eastwood
Kimberly Guilfoyle
Henry Kissinger
Sandy Koufax
Loretta Lynn
Robert Mercer
William Shatner
Donald Trump
Elizabeth Windsor
Dan Bongino, b. December 4, 1974. Political commentator.
Alt1. Bobby Brown, b. February 5, 1969. Musician.
Alt2. Lindsay Lohan, b. July 2, 1986. Actress.
Alt3. Gheorghe Mureșan, b. February 14, 1971. Basketball player.
Plain text list:
Polly Holliday
Pelé
Rick Davies
Edie McClurg
Jimmy McMillan
Elton John
Teri Garr
Ayman al-Zawahiri
Ron Jeremy
Johnny Depp
Erik Prince
Shannen Doherty
Dan Bongino
1 Bob Barker American TV Show Host
2 Buzz Aldrin American Former Astronaut
3 Dick Cheney American politician, former V.P.
4 Gordon Lightfoot Canadian Singer
5 Jean Chretien Former Prime Minister of Canada
6 Jimmy Carter Former US President
7 Jimmy Swaggart American Televangelist
8 Loretta Lynn American Country singer
9 Michael Douglas American Actor
10 Olivia Newton John Singer
11 Queen Elisabeth II Queen of England
12 Randy Travis American Country Singer
13 Willie Nalson American Country Singer
Alternates:
1 Clint Eastwood American Actor
2 George W. Bush Former US President
3 Kris Kristofferson American Actor, Singer, Songwriter
Clean List:
Bob Barker
Buzz Aldrin
Dick Cheney
Gordon Lightfoot
Jean Chretien
Jimmy Carter
Jimmy Swaggart
Loretta Lynn
Michael Douglas
Olivia Newton John
Queen Elisabeth II
Randy Travis
Willie Nalson