22 Gallon Sized Paint Cans on the Wall

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Way back when we moved into our house, back behind the furnace, there were shelves and shelves of old paint cans. We probably should have done something about it then, but like I said, they were behind the furnace. If you were to make a map of our basement when we moved into the house, back behind the furnace would just be marked “Here There Be Spyders” with some imaginary details thrown in. We weren’t going back there, and we couldn’t stack boxes of “basement stuff” back there either, we had to keep a path open so I could creep back behind the furnace every month and check the filter. So, all in all, things just sort of coasted along. And the paint cans slept.

Then last week we got a new furnace. (And the villagers rejoiced! Huzzah!) That went pretty well. They guys showed up right on time Monday morning and got to work. By Tuesday afternoon, they had the A/C up and running. By Wednesday afternoon, they had the furnace itself hooked up and going plus had everything put back where it goes and cleaned up. As far as things could have gone, the whole job went rather smoothly. And they put the furnace filter in the front, so now I don’t have to creep around the back to check the filter every month.

So this means that the paint cans, that were once mouldering in peace, are now hogging up some valuable basement real estate. Or they were anyway.

The first step was to drag all the paint cans out from behind the furnace and see what we have to work with. Actually that was the second thing. The first thing was to (foolishly) decide Something Must Be Done. Then the dragging out commenced. There were 22 gallon paint cans back there. Plus 12 quart sized paint cans. Plus a couple of those rectangular gallon paint cans. Plus a plastic gallon jug of some sort of cleaner thing. For kicks I tried to figure where some of the colors actually went in the house. For the most part: no dice.

Now what do I do? You can’t just throw away paint cans. Can you? No. They are Hazardous Household Waste. You can’t just throw them out. So what do you do?

Me? I called my friendly neighborhood trash service and asked. They were real nice. They told me “you stuff newspaper or kitty litter in the can and then you can just put it out with your regular trash.” OK, sounds great. Only once I got started, I realized this wasn’t going to work. I had 22 gallon sized paint cans to get through. And most of them were quite fullish. You couldn’t stuff enough newspaper in there to do any good. So I called my friendly neighborhood trash service back and asked again. They stuck with their Party Line about the newspaper thing. Then I explained I had a “butt-load of old paint cans” and most of them were still too full to stuff with newspaper. That’s when the told me about the friendly neighborhood hardware store that collects old paint cans and does something with them. I didn’t care what they did with them as long as I didn’t have them in my basement, so I gave them a call.

Yeah, they take old paint cans. But the have to be (pay attention here) water based latex and be at least a third full. And they only take five cans at a time. OK, five cans is five fewer than I have to deal with, so it’s a “Go”. I load up five old paint cans into the trunck (actually the hatch of the hackback to be perfectly honest) and zip off to the friendly neighborhood hardware store. I get there and find someone to ask what I should do with my paint cans (they are still in the trunk (but really the hatch) of my car at this point). They tell me to the Service Desk and ask for Bob. So I do. I don’t know if I was actually talking to Bob at the time, but he says they’ll take up to five paint cans at a time and they have to be water based acrylic paint (Not latex? I’m not going to make waves, so I don’t ask.) and be at least a quarter full. OK, sure. And I was to just pull around to the back and someone back there would take care of me.

So I pull around to the back. No one’s there. Just a closed door. But it has a doorbell next to it. So I ring the bell. And wait. And wait. And wait some more. Eventually the door creaks open. Some old guy sticks his head out and blinks at me. So I tell him I was sent back to drop off my paint cans. He tells me: “OK, bring 'em in here, as long as they are water based (that part never changes) latex (again) and they at least slosh around in the bottom of the can.” Apparently no one talks to anyone in this store about old paint. What do they chat about on breaks? TV shows? Weather?

So I give him my paint. Then I ask him: “When can I drop off more?”
“How many you got?” he asks.
“A lot. I mean a lot.” I don’t want to get pinned down.
“Well, just bring 'em on over,” he tells me. I like this guy.

So I zip on back home (after I stop at Goodwill to drop off some stuff, we unloaded all kinds of stuff last weekend) and load up the rest of my paint cans and zip on back.

But not zippy enough. When I get back to the friendly neighborhood hardware store and ring the bell, the old guy doesn’t answer. Two old ladies answer instead. Here’s a big surprise: they know nothing about old paint cans. But I tell them, quite truthfully “The old guy said I could”. So they let me dump off my old paint cans. That’s really what’s important here. I got rid of my old paint cans.

The spiders aren’t happy though. Now they have to scuttle across the basement and settle behind the washer and dryer. That’s where the crickets live. There could be a turf war.
-Rue.

2

Twenty-two gallons of paint on the wall,
Twenty-two gallons of pa-iiiiiiiiiint;
Ya take one down,
Pass it arou…

Oops!

Damn…

Ahem.

Twenty-two gallons of paint on the floor,
twenty-two gallons of pa-iiiiiiiiiiint…

Am I the only one who thought the title meant ONE 22-gallon bucket of paint?

3

Damn, beat me to it.

4

Well, I only have four or five paint cans in my basement, and they’re under the stairs. The painters put ‘em there when they finished painting the inside of the house last year. I really should look at them, as I need to touch up the hallway since the cheatin’ bastiges only put on one coat.

But at least you have air conditioning and heat now. Although I don’t know why you’d want heat in the middle of July.
(I’m making this lame post because screech-owl got here before I did and made the joke I wanted to make).

5

Rue is your basement some kinda wildlife refuge? Spiders, crickets, and as I recall, you once had a fear of there being bears down there.

I’m curious, with all your new found spider-free space, what are ya gonna put in it? I know you got stuff to put there.

6

A web-based server?

7

Ha! “A web-based server?” screech, you crack me up! (And even though the song was pretty much a given from the thread title, you get points for it. Everyone else, I think less of.)

But no can do. The spiders have been evicted.

And of COURSE there’s stuff to put there, Swampy. Things are migrating in even as we speak. I think I saw some spare shingles from when we got the roof re-done wriggling in. And various and sundry painting supplies (rollers, pans, that sort of thing) are taking up residence. (No, the irony is not lost on me.)
-Rue.

8

Rue has empty space?? Well, ya know, my dearest, bestest friend, I’ve got just the thing to fill that void in your basement. Yep, doggies. Pixel and Bernie. They like basements - no really, they do! And they’ll keep the turf war in check - heck - they may even eat the combatants! No, I’m serious. I’d do this for you - that’s what Number One Special Friends are for.

OK, to veer off the hijack, I’ve been known to leave paint cans behind when moving. But we probably won’t be doing that in this house, because we pretty much used up all the paint we had. Seems to me that here the landfill won’t take paint, but they will take paint cans if the paint therein has dried to a lump. So if I ever have to dispose of paint, I’ll let it dry - they like it if I lump it.

Weak, huh?

[sub]screech-owl - web-based server? You should be ashamed!!![/sub]

9

Look, is it MY fault I was begotten by the “Gods of Stating the Obvious”? Gotta live up to my heritage, ya know…

FCM is gonna eat spiders and crickets!!! Eyeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwww!!!

10

Rue ol’ buddy, ol’ pal, I got news for ya. You absolutely, positively cannot evict spiders. When spiders move in, they are always there. You can knock down all their little spider homes. You can have a professional exterminator spray professional spider exterminating stuff. You can detonate a small nuclear warhead. It will not matter. The spiders will be back the next day. I know this for a fact. I am in a continuing spider war in my attic and on my back porch. I sweep, spray, get the exterminator to exterminate and still got them spiders all over the place. Why, one even committed suicide yesterday by climbing over in my hottub (which is on the back porch cause it’d be kinda inconvenient if it were in the attic, which I don’t think would be wise anyway cause I don’t think the rafters would support the weight of a full hottub and it’d come crashing down into my living room and make a big mess)and drowned. :eek:

The point is, spiders never never never go away once they move in. Of course, I haven’t tried serving them with legal eviction papers, so that might work.

11

OK, you got me Swampy. The spiders were NOT “evicted”. They were merely re-located. But, as said, they were relocated to behind the washer and dryer. No room for a server there anyway. (And I don’t want to stomp on Screech’s joke.)
-Rue.

12

And another thing there Swampy, you don’t want to go searving those pesky spiders with eviction papers. See, that would be a legal thingy. You know what the lawyers of the bug world are, don’tcha? Geez, man, you’ll NEVER get rid of those.

(Yeah, I know spiders are arachnids and bugs are insects with sucking mouth parts, but spiders are still bug-esque, so there you go.)
(still)-Rue. (And I’m pretty sure I’m done now.)