So I’m an artilleryman the North/South Korean border. Conscripted this Jan, get to get the fuck out Nov 2010. No internet at base so probably no reply for a while, if ever.
My hands have become thoroughly callused from pickaxing. Me + Pickaxe = WTF. If you knew me outside you’d probably realize this is an odd combination. I’m actually perty good at it though. I’d like to think it’s the cynical rage. If you asked me a year ago what I would be doing now, it wouldn’t be burying the ends of a fucking cannon to prevent recoil (not a particularly big gun, but still). My aunt accidently wasted one of my day-of-freedom-passes so I can use a computer again.
I think everyone reading this should be happy that they’re not me and your ex isn’t dating some douche who calls himself ‘Coco del Rio’ less than a month after your break up. What the fuck kind of nickname is ‘Coco’? Does he seduce heterosexual celebrities for a living? The mind boggles.
The Korean army sucks balls, being a completely ineffective, inefficient bureaucratic mess. Couple of months ago one of my totally awesome superiors went to military detention for trying to kick my ass and cracking my ribs in the process. Ever get kicked in the chest w/ army boots? Don’t feel good. I thought playing with a rifle would be cool but that blows too because it’s fucking heavy and annoying to carry everyday to guard 105mm ammo you know no one is going to steal. Why? Because it’s fucking heavy. How do I know? Because I’ve had to haul them all day.
The korean army doesn’t hire civilians like the American army to do all the shitty work. You clog the toliet, you unclog it. Your superior clogs the toilet, you unclog it. You’d think they could fund a decent fucking shovel if your going to make men dig all day, but I guess too much to ask for on the frontline. You break a shovel, you make one. How? Don’t know but I have to figure it out because some asshole broke one of our shovels.
I have to get back to the prison… Base, I mean, in less than an hour so enjoy your life everyone and again, be happy you’re not me. Savor your freedom. You probably don’t know it’s there but trust me, you’ll notice when it’s gone.
On an unrelated note, kinda surprised I can still write in English.
Hah, thanks for posting this. It’s really good to have people from all over the world here. What kind of rifle do you guys use?
K2. Kind of a Galil ripoff from what I understand.
So have any of your fellow soldiers made remarks on how the NK Army are the Zerg and the SK Army are Terrans?
please post some updates when you can. I’m sure it sucks but ya know, a lot of sucky things turn into decent stories a few years down the road. Certainly, you can brag about being the only Doper that’s on active duty in the ROK armed forces.
Ugh. I’ve had friends in artillery - you have my condolences. Worse branch of any armed forces.
Did you at least get some sick leave for the cracked ribs?
So very true!
OP: With your English fluency, what are your chances of going KATUSA?
I guess I can understand your plight. From another country with enforced national service where people with health hazards are sent to combat units.
You will, eh, get used to it. Part and parcel of going through forced conscription is to learn the true meaning of “Life isn’t fair” and those whom I know who really suffered through it, instead of sailing through it just because they are part of some Very Important People’s family or are needed to take part in sports, turn out to be the more decent ones. After this you’ll value your civilian life more.
More edit: BTW, try not to reveal too much info. I have known people who are slapped with charges for ranting about their military life too much on blogs.
There was a time when the Korean Tiger was the baddest, maddest, toughest motherfucking soldier on the face of this Earth. Chiricahua Apaches would whimper and hide.
A good friend, call him John, was in Viet Nam during the Unpleasantness. He was assigned a night of guard duty on a major base, and had a Korean Tiger as a “partner”, so to speak. He was a FTA type grunt, thoroughly disillusioned about everything military, as was common. Jeeps would drive up to the entrance, he waved them through perfunctorily, with a gesture about half way between a wave and a salute.
His Tiger counterpart invariably snapped to attention, stiff as a rod, and saluted crisply regardless of the personnel addressed. John thought this was all way too gung-ho, and in managed to get this idea across to his Tiger companion, that he was being way, way too much a “lifer”. The Tiger smiled and nodded politely, but changed nothing. John brought up the subject again, to no effect.
Then another Jeep pulled up, this one had officers in it, one of them an SK captain. Both John and his companion offered a lackadaisical gesture, and John was momentarily pleased that his partner followed his lead. The SK captain screamed, the jeep screeched to a halt, and the captain was out of the jeep in a flash, dashed up to John’s partner, and hauled off with a serious punch to his face, flattening his nose with a gush of blood, and followed up with a punch to the gut, and started in screaming in the hapless privates blood-gushing face.
Now, of course, John didn’t understand Korean, but he knew an ass-chewing when he saw one, and this was big-time and downtown. Finally, the SK officer took a breath, and the private began to explain, making a couple of gestures towards John. The SK officer laughed, and then came over to John to explain, being fluent in English.
Its seems that the private simply wanted to demonstrate SK military protocol to the soft American soldier, what would happen if an SK private ever dared to present anything but rigid snap-to respect for any uniform, period. You get the living shit kicked out of you, is what happens.
John was stunned, naturally. Well, that’s gonna leave me alone while he goes to the infirmary, I mean, Jesus, his nose his flattened and he can barely stand. The captain smiled and advised that yes, he could certainly go have medical attention. Just as soon as his regularly scheduled relief arrived. In about two hours.
And so is went. The SK private stood there grinning and bleeding for another two hours until his relief arrived.
The few. The proud. The fucking insane. The Korean Tiger.
Wow. And we always thought the *Americans *were crazy, what with all their saluting and calling their officers “sir”.
So, when do you invade South Korea?
And we over here describe Israelite soldiers as the craziest ever. Somehow I got a feeling that these sort of macho-moments only happens when soldiers from different countries come together.
+1
Don’t do anything to get yourself in trouble, but definitely keep posting if possible.
I find stuff like this to be absolutely fascinating.
My good college friend is leaving school for 2 years to serve in the Korean army. He really doesn’t want to go either.
Rest assured, there is enormous variance and subtlety in the American use of the word “sir”. It can say “I am a 20-year non-comm who has forgotten more about the Army than you, a 2nd Lt. lardbutt, will ever know.” Or “I am a police officer and you are another trial of my patience.” Or “You are a civilian. I am obliged to pretend to respect your pencil neck and comfortable shoes. I am not obliged to do so convincingly.”
All that in those three little letters. “Sir.”
I suspect that if it adds ten seconds to the time he needs to serve he won’t be interested.
One note to remember about officers…never, and I mean NEVER tell a 2nd Lt: “I am an E-6, you are an O-1. This means that I have been promoted 5 more times than you have.” in a smarmy voice…I had fun trying to explain that to the Colonel.
The decision on being a KATUSA is made at the outset of a conscript’s service. Furthermore, “gyopos” (Overseas Koreans/Dual Nationals) are not eligible for the program.
Even as a civilian, I am aware the droll irony is underappreciated in military circles.