The other day I was playing around with my neighbors little 3 year old son and I was pretending that when he hit me it hurt really bad…and then I realized that he did not know I was just playing around and he was laughing and enjoying it and coming back for more. That is when I got up and got away from him.
Basically if I was really hurt he would have been enjoying himself that’s why 3 year olds are evil in my humble opinion.
Please don’t take it to seriously but some are evil.
That is kind of freaky, though in my mind it raises more questions about the parents than it does three-year-olds.
I suppose it’s possible that the kid is a budding psychopath, but I’m more inclined to think that the parents might just be the kind of people who take pleasure in seeing others in pain (and those sorts of people are out there, usually in middle management), and the kid has picked up the attitude.
Look. Let’s not overanalyze this. It isn’t a parent thing, or a three year old thing, it’s a human thing. People find other people’s pain amusing. In fact, there was a thread about it in Cafe Society not too long ago, asking if there was such a thing as a victimless joke. IIRC, the answer was pretty much no.
The Three Stooges. Heard of 'em? (Yes, I’m a woman, and I like the Three Stooges) Hysterical. Ben Stiller? Mr. Bean? Slapstick is appreciated because at some very basic level, watching someone get their head stuck in a turkey is funny to us. Someone else’s discomfort is amusing. As we grow older, we are better about hiding it, but we still enjoy it. Being PC about it and saying “that’s ridiculous! I would never…!!!” is just plain denial. If it were true, those movies wouldn’t be so hugely popular. Granted, not a steady diet of it, but still. You see my point.
Well, 3 year olds are 3. They’re definitely not civilized (but really, compared to 2 year olds, they’re social geniuses).
I wasn’t there, so I can’t really judge how you acted and how he acted, but adults pretending results out of whack with causes is pretty common play. He probably knew you were fooling around and that’s why he kept laughing and playing. I mean he knows how hard he was hitting and about how much damage could be reasonably expected.
But that said, kids are still learning about what’s acceptable behavior. We have to give them accurate feedback (the opposite of what you were doing) about what’s OK and what’s not. They try all kinds of things to see what kind of reactions they get.
My older son at age 4 once called out to his uncle upon arrival in a cheery tone "Hi Uncle John! I’m hurting Josh!(his 2 yr old brother).
Also, like all kids (and many adults for that matter), 3-year-olds get overexcited and hyper, where they’re not thinking about anything but bouncing around and laughing or yelling. You can’t expect a 3-yo child to think ahead to “hm. This is causing pain to my friend, so perhaps I should stop.” He’s completely taken up in the moment. Part of being the adult is judging when things are going too far and putting a stop to the hyper kid before someone actually does get hurt.
How many wrestling matches did you get into as a kid, with a sibling or friend, where you were having fun but then at some point the control had been lost, pretty soon somebody got an elbow to the eye, and it all ended in tears? That’s just part of being a kid; it takes a long time to learn when to quit. Three-year-olds haven’t learnt that yet.
Hold on a sec, START…if children are naturally evil, why should God put all that time and energy into healing them?
I knew someone would take this to seriously…anyway the kid that got hurt wasn’t a 3 year old. :smack:
I will play with my two 3-year-olds and 3-1/2 year old nephew and they have lots of fun falling and ‘crashing’. The tone is always in fun and if something happens where someone is hurt, then the tone of the playing is changed and usually they will calm down. (I say usually, because my nephew has less concern than our two).
My 3-year-old son was playing with me last night and accidentally whacked in the 'nads. I crumpled to the ground in a groaning heap. He immediately stopped and said “Are you all right, Daddy?” He then tried to help me up and gave me a kiss all better on the forehead (he, uh, didn’t quite understand what happened). We’ve got the best kids ever…
I suspect that my nephew would have looked at me, blurted out “What’s wrong with Uncle Cantara?” and run off laughing without waiting for an answer. He’s a good kid, but doesn’t ‘get’ that he can hurt someone without getting hurt himself.
I guess the point of this unfocussed post is that some kids can often tell when someone is playing and when they aren’t. They also have differing degrees of empathy…hmmm…maybe they are evil…
My own observational experiment is ongoing…I should have some results for you in a decade or two…
Toddlers are a narcissistic lot by nature. They have to learn empathy and that comes at a different time for all kids just like walking and talking. The child in question could simply not have been able to process yet that you were in pain.
Also they are pretty smart. My just turned 3 year old knows when you aren’t really hurt. She’s very good about comforting us when we’re in real pain like from stubbing a toe. She comes over and rubs my back and tells me I’m fine. She will also ask her teddy bear if he is ok after she flings him into the wall. At 3 she is really just learning how to relate to others and how to understand they can feel the same things she can.
They are roughhousing little brutes too. My daughter loves to run and spin and jump and fall and swing and she can really cause some pain. She just doesn’t understand yet that she’s hurting you when she is having so much fun. I always stop her when she does hurt someone and explain things to her but she’s 3.
Ditto to that. When my four-year-old is calm and collected, he freaks out if he thinks he’s hurt someone, to the point of sobbing loudly and insisting that everything’s okay. When he’s hyperactive and pumped up, however, he’ll just blindly thrash away, unaware of any pain or injury issues.
Empathy isn’t a three year olds strong suit.
I mean, just the other day, my three year old son and I were playing around in the yard, and he was chasing me around with a butcher knife…
I’m just kidding. My son is four.