Kids, what the ?

The BBQ Pit
1

I am not talking about all kids here, I like kids, I have a kid, I’ve been taking care of kis since I was 7 years old ! I am the eldest of 9 living kids.

But I have seen so many rude , foul mouthed
kids lately it makes me ill. Kids who actually curse at and hit their parents. Who talk to their parents, teachers, and even the police like they are lower than dogs ! And worse they are allowed to get away with it ! It’s too much for me, we aren’t talking troubled teens here, we are talking about little snot nosed monsters around 6-10 years old, some even younger.

And the parents say “well I can’t control little whatsit” . Excuse me, but if you don’t bst little whatsit’s little ass now, when he gets older , bigger, stronger who will be able to control him/her ?

Damn-it I walked out my door and saw the sweetest little kid outside, this little herub face child looked up at me and said “Bitch” , the adult that was with the child said, did nothing execpt laughed. I had never seen these people before.

What ever happened to people teaching their kids to act like human beings, at least in public ?

If you are going to raise little monsters, can’t you at least not inflect on the rest of us.

Sorry folks but this just pisses me off no end.

Ayesha - Lioness

You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication.

2

Kind of makes you long for the return of the woodshed.

Dopeler effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

3

I feel one of the big problems with parents is they want to be freinds with their kids rather then parents…thus little or no disipline. Additionally people who are rude assholes (and their are a lot of them) probably will have kids who are rude assholes.

4

I agree that the “parent as pal” mentality has reached epidemic proportions. A child is not just a little adult; he/she needs loving guidance, set boundaries, and discipline, in addition to buddy-type interaction. Children who lack these things often turn into self-centered spoiled brats, respecting no one.

Too often, parents are afraid to contradict their children, or say or do anything to upset the little precious angel. “My kid won’t like me any more if I don’t give in to his every whim!”

The other day I was walking from the bus stop to my apartment, when I passed a little boy, around 10 years old. He looked me in the eye and said, “Good afternoon, sir.” I about fell over! I actually stopped and told him how lucky he was to have parents teach him how to conduct himself in a respectful manner. During our brief conversation, I marveled at just how articulate and well-taught this boy was. This kid will go far in the world, largely due to the efforts of his parents and teachers. He will certainly stand out in comparison to his ‘peers.’

5

The primary job of a parent is to prepare a child for adulthood. A parent doesn’t do his child any favours by failing to set standards of behaviour. A parent who wants to be “pals” is deluded. A young child doesn’t want you for a pal. He has his own.
You’re there to provide, to teach, to comfort and to guide. The pal thing comes much later.

6

divemaster, I would have had the exact same reaction. One of the saddest things, IMO, is that today, that is the type of child that shocks us. When did the “fuck you, mister” type of kid quit surprising us?

trisha

7

Agreed. When I was a lad, I was meek and afraid of my own shadow, let alone any adults. I know it’s trite to say, but nowadays the kids are friggin’ evil. There was an epidemic in my town, where kids, ranging from the age of 7 to 18 would patrol the streets and harass people into giving them money. It’s very intimidating to have a mob of kids surround you and ask you for money, then spew profanity at you when you tell them no. I’m only 22, I can imagine how an elderly person would feel in said situation. The thing is, in high school, when my friends and I used to hang around the town, we’d get complaints and be chased by the cops, but we always kept to ourselves and never tried to bother anyone. The kids of this generation seem intent on antagonism.

8

Take heed these little brats learn this language from their folks.

That would make these folks born around 1970. Interesting time then, still plenty of post 60s freedom.

9

These “parents” aren’t really parents at all, they are, like a few of you said, their kids’ buddies. The problem is the kids run the house, these parents need to show the kids who’s the boss. It takes alot of time, effort and consistency. Kids always try something new to bend or break their parents, and when the parents give in…well out comes a brat.

10

I agree with you all about parents being parents, not best buddy.

I admit, I am a strict parent, when son was young he was not allowed to go anyplace with out permission. If he broke the rules he got punished, and yes up to and including a spanking. I watched him like a hawk, had final veto rights on his clothing (no T-shirts with naked butts on the front for him, and especially not for school).

And as for kids who hit their parents, well that is horrible, and the ones who keep it up after they are grown are imo, the lowest of the low.

When son got taller than me and was feeling grown he tried to buffalo me once by getting in my face and puffing up. Mistake son , big mistake ! I let the boy know that if he ever raised a hand to me, it would be his last, and I mean it too.

I knew a woman years ago
who’s son beat the shit out of her, broke her leg, messed her up bad. I asked her why she hadn’t shot him. Well because he’s her son and she didn’t want to hurt him. Son or no son when someone’s kicking in your door and starts beating you , you shoot them, maybe not to kill , but at least to stop them.

Ayesha - Lioness

You sound reasonable. Must be time to up my medication.

11

Sounds like a respectable young man, Ayesha. Somehow you managed to not break his “will”. Another of the lame-ass excuses I get from weak parents…“I don’t want to break his/her will and spirit.” Blech!

12

I saw a lot of anti-pal and anti-buddy comments above, HOWEVER, I don’t know any of these foul-mouthed monsters whose parents are pals or buddies to them.

I agree that parents have to set the boundaries. (My kid is quite willing to express, at length, just how mean I am.) However, most of the brats I have seen are being ignored by their parents. I do know some parents who have tried the just-a-pal approach, and their kids do have problems, but those problems tend to be different from those of the really nasty kids.

I also know parents who are pals to their kids–with limits. Those kids seem to be doing just fine.

The nasty kids seem to come from houses where the parents are afraid of parenting and are hoping the kids will raise themselves or where the parents set such rigid rules that the kids have to rebel simply to have as much freedom as kids five years younger.

There are a lot of problem kids out there, but I don’t find parents-as-pals to be the most serious cause of them.

Tom~

13

I agree with Tom up to a point. The worst kids in my area are the ones whose parents neglect them. I’ve found that they actually like it (although they wouldn’t say that) when I step in and set some limits for them.

However, the biggest problem in my neighborhood (meaning the problem that affects the most kids) are the over-protective parents. If anything, no matter how trivial, happens to their kid they go totally apeshit. I had a run-in with one of these parents this morning. His son and my son were running around playing tag and when my son went to tag his son he accidentally tripped him. No big deal, right? Kids play, they get hurt, that’s life. Well, the kids dad tells my son that he can’t play with Jason anymore because “you hurt Jason, that’s mean.”

Well, I just about blew my lid. Trying my best not to make a scene (and upset my son more, he was crying) I told bozo that I saw the whole thing and it was an accident. (Lest you think that I am a neglectful parent, I ran right over to remind my son to apologize and to play more carefully) Of course bozo is like “Your kid knocked my kid down, you need to control him, blah blah blah.” What the fuck?

I was proud of my son, he calmed himself down and said “Hey, why did you say I am mean? I am a good boy. That’s not very nice.”

This same guy’s wife told me that I was wrong to scold my son for yelling at me, because he needs to be “empowered” to say no if somebody does something he doesn’t like. Excuse me? Okay, I know it is important to protect your child from pervs and sickos, but I don’t see how that makes it all right for him to yell at me. I’m also feed up with people letting their kids constantly interrupt their conversations. And the kids that never, ever have to share.

I am scared to see what these 3 and 4 year olds will be like in another ten years.

14

Heh. Sometimes, when the answer I’ve given to the endless “WHY?” challenge just isn’t getting through, I throw up my hands and remind them that “I’m the meanest, rottenest, nastiest mommy in Southern California, remember?”

This usually gets a laugh, defuses the situation, and lets us move on.

One of the regs on the old board, who does not hang here, gave me a great deal of grief when I commented that I did not allow my children, particularly my younger children (then ages 8 and 9) to watch the Simpsons. While I understand that the show is great satire, I didn’t really think that young children need the smart-mouth role model.

-Mommy Melin

15

Melin:

Frequent conversation at the checkout:
Son: Can we have M&M’s?
I: Not today.
Son: Why not?
I: Because I’m not buying any, today.
Son: But why not?
I: I have to protect my reputation.
Son: I don’t care about your old reputation.
I: I do.
Cashier: Your reputation?
I: I’m the world’s meanest Dad!

Several years ago, Son would ask “What reputation?”, but we have long since settled that issue.

Tom~

16

This one kid in the play with me is like that. Total smartass to teh director with no reason whatsoever. Won’t listen to us who know what we’re doing (not a power trip, but this is my 5th production to his first). The director was obviously pissed, and finished his almost-rant with “…so can we do this again?” This kid says, “No.”
“Ian, shut the hell up! What the hell are you doing?!” him: “I don’t care what he says…” us:“We do! Shut up, go be an asshole somewhere where it doesn’t affect us, huh?”
I kinda pride myself on being a good kid. My parents did a good job, and I’ve made freinds with many of my teachers, and keep out of troule, and not lead a boring life.
PS, we’re all killing Ian at strike. You in?

JMcC, San Francisco
http://members.tripod.com/~weirdstuff/index.html
“Hear the voices in my head, I swear to God it sounds like they’re snoring”

17

Melin:
Good for you! I don’t let my kids watch the Simpsons either.

Recent conversation in line at grocery store:

Daughter: Mommy, can I get some m&ms PLEEEAAASSSEE??

Me: NO

Daughter & son together: Please???

Me: NO

Daugher & son together: WHY??

Me: You sound so greedy. You went trick-or-treating last night. You each have a bag full of candy at home. How much do you need?
If you ask me again, I’ll take it all away.

Son: You’re not my friend.

Me: I’m the best friend you’ll ever have. ::Kisses belly button of son::::

Son: giggles.

Daughter (smiling): Oh, yea, sorry I sounded greedy. (hugs mommy) :slight_smile:

Nor do I let them be mean, smart-alecy, or hateful to anyone. When children come to my house, I treat them with respect and kind authority. Our home is happy, busy, and fun. Our children are often invited out with other kids, and I can’t remember the last time a parent or teacher reported something bad one of my kids did. (I know, they’re saving up for the teenage years.)

I think it’s hard to find NICE children. Kids who don’t nickel-and-dime you to death with requests to be entertained. Kids who don’t throw fits when it’s time to go home. Kids who listen to their parents with respect, and treat their friends with kindness, even when (they think) no grown-ups are looking.

At my daughter’s 10th bithday party, I caught her 11yr old “buddy” trying to steal some pokemon cards my daughter got as gifts. I SAW her stack them up and put them in her backpack. In order to not embarrass her, I quietly asked her where they were, she gave them back, saying she didn’t know how they got there. Presumably, she explained, my 3yr old son did it. I dropped it for then, but I told her mother exactly what happened: I SAW HER PUT THEM IN THE BACKPACK. The mother said it was a misunderstanding. That was it. No accountability.

Needless to say, that little girl won’t be invited back.

Any thoughts?

18

Paddle the mother…

19

There was an article in the paper this morning (distributed out of California by Scripps-Howard) about a grade school that has a policy of all teachers and staff being called by their first names only. No Mr., Mrs., etc… allowed.

It seems the school (and the prevailing opinion in the community) wanted to foster the notion that children and adults are essentially equals, and to have children use titles of respect places them in an unequal position. Not good for the self-esteem, you know.

A quote from one parent came down to the question of why should kids pay respect to an adult who hadn’t earned respect, or proven themselves worthy of that respect?

The article also suggested that this notion of children being essentially the same as adults had a lot to do with feelings of confusion and guilt in Baby-boomers.

And any state where a person can sue over spilling coffee is obviously way… :slight_smile: (just an aside for Phil, if he happens to read this)

20

I think I talked back to my dad once. All I remember is a loud “whack” and then realizing that I was looking at the celing. Sure cured me in a hurry. . .
– Sylence

And now, for my next trick, I will talk in spooky half-references.