What the fuck are you people teaching your stupid kids?

The BBQ Pit
1

I’ve raised 3 kids. The youngest will be 18 in June. I taught them that they are to obey adults to a certain extent and respect other peoples property. If a grown up tells you to stop doing something wrong, you better stop.
I cannot believe how some people raise their kid as though they are the Christ Child. (“MY son/daughter is perfect, does no wrong”, etc.) What bullshit.

This morning I didn’t need to be to work until 11 so I slept in. Until my wife woke me up at 7:30. She saw the 2 neighbor kids (8 and 6) climbing up on the hood, roof, and trunk of another neighbors car. They weren’t just climbing on it, they were jumping on the hood, roof, and trunk. They did this while waiting for the school bus. My wife yelled at them to get off the car as they were denting it. The older kid (8 years old) yelled back: “You can’t tell us what to do!” The younger one then screamed “Yeah! Shut up!”
Young children do not come up with that shit on their own. their parents pumped it into them! My wife then walked across the street towards the car and told them, sternly, to get off of it. At this time the kids mother came running out of the house and said (and I quote) “Mr. ***** is going to be upset with you Mark”.:eek: “Awwww mama” the boy repied. And he jumped from the roof to the trunk, then down off the car. The woman then took the 2 boys hand in hand and walked to the corner with them to wait for the bus. But first she gave my wife a dirty look and asked her why she didn’t have anything better to do.

I can prove everything I’ve posted here because the security cameras on my property recorded the entire thing!!!:cool: The owner of that car was very interested in that fact when my wife called him this afternoon! We sympathize with him as it’s happened to us.
It’s not like these parents are trailer trash! They’re professional people who make good livings! Why are folks teaching their kids shitty values, and why are they willing to let them do/get away with rotten behavior? I have 3 offspring that would tell you what would have happened to them had they did/said those things. It wouldn’t happen a second time, I’ll tell you that much!

Am I the last good parent on the planet?

2

I’m with you pk, We moved out to the country about 18 yrs ago. The little bastards hung upside down from the trees playing banjos etc. Biggest problem was that we couldn’t see what our own were doing on their way or at the bus stop. Many neighborhood problems ensued. Now that all are grown and tell us the truth about what happened way back when, all is a little humorous except that the adults still don’t speak to one another.
Seems like people forget about what’s right or wrong, but what’s worse is when the little freaks know the difference, but also know they needn’t respect the authority of those who do. Authority is what adulthood, parenthood, police (hood) is supposed to be about.
Maybe too many people telling them what to do and far too many telling them who not to believe and trust. PLUS SPANKING SEEMS TO BE TABOO!

3

You’ve got some rude bitch neighbours. “Mr. ***** is going to be upset with you…” ** UPSET?? Mr. ***** just got his freakin’ car ruined! **

Your neighbours need to go to a parenting school.

4

Have your neighbor file suit against the parents for the damage to his car. Then momma might take a bit more interest.

5

Seems to me like your neighbor would win this case. Parents are liable for any damage their kids do as long as it’s provable that the parents were “negligent” in supervising the little monsters.

Seems to me like dear ol’ Mum there was pretty damn negligent.

I’d be so pissed off I wouldn’t be able to see straight; this is one case where I’d sue her freakin’ pants off, just to teach her a lesson.

6

I don’t know what will happen here. but I fucked up. I forgot to mention 2 important things:

  1. these people have been, in the past, very good neighbors. they have been quiet, friendly polite, etc. they’ve lived here 3 years.

  2. But they absolutely ignore their kids. Both have been seen playing in the street, almost getting hit by cars, etc… My wife doesn’t work outside the home, so she has had the opportunity to observe. These people put their kids outside and don’t check up on them for hours on end! did i mention that this has been going on for 3 years and the boys are now 6 and 8?

#1 and 2 seem to conflict with each other, don’t they? But let’s face it, otherwise nice people can be real shitty parents! It doesn’t take much to become a parent. A few glasses of wine and a broken piece of rubber.

7

You are not the only one who has noticed that many kids today seem to have little respect for adults or other people’s property. Certainly not all kids, but it seems to me a greater percentage than when I was young.

Heck, how many times did your parents tell you that you had better not bother the neighbors? These days, I feel as if I tell a kid they are disturbing me or my property, I expect a phone call from the kid’s parent demanding to know who I think I am to correct their little angel.

All I can do is do the best with my 3 kids.

8

Dinsdale, you are absolutely right. Back in MY day (insert geezer noises here) it used to be that we were JUST as afraid of the neighbors because they were just as hard on us as our parents. And woe betide you if they CALLED your parents…

Now, you can’t say boo to a goose or a neighborhood brat without getting an ugly rebuke from their so-called “parent”.

9

Can i suggest a slight reworking of your thread title? Shift the word “stupid” four spaces to the left.

Now reads:

What the fuck are you stupid people teaching your kids?

I think that’s more reasonable. The kids themselves, as you say, have to learn their behaviour and attitudes from someone.

10

There seems to be a very visible fraction of parents who employ the Let The Kid Do Anything method of parenting these days. I don’t think it’s a majority of kids; in fact, I think it’s a small minority. Most parents DO discipline their children, some better than others.

But you really notice the LTKDA parents, since the kids are noticeable, which gives you the mistaken impression they’re the rule and not the exception. The best place to notice them is in a restaurant; they seem to believe that the best way to handle kids acting up in a restaurant is to let them run around the aisles screaming. What I find fascinating about this is not the fact that it’s rude to other people, it’s that it’s a perfect way to let your child be kidnapped.

Anyway, I had a conversation with an LTKDA parent once, who happened to be a corporate trainer I was working with. I don’t think it’s that they don’t care; based on my conversation, they seem to have gotten it into their heads that they are powerless, for some reason. The conversation went like this:

LTKDA Parent: Kids these days, you just can’t control them. (Tells story of out-of-control children.)

Me: Why not?

LTKDAP: Well, ha ha, let’s see YOU control them.

Me: I’d control them the same way my parents controlled me. I was punished when I was bad. You never saw me talking back or running around like a maniac in a restaurant.

LTKDAP: (Haughty, know-it-all tone) Well, that’s easier said than done. How could you do THAT?

Me: Grounding. Take away TV, video games. Give them extra chores. You know, punish them. If need be, a good smack in the ass does wonders.

LTKDAP: Ha! You can’t hit your kids anymore!

Me: Who says? Show me a law.

LTKDAP: Well, uhh, these days you can only use time outs!

Me: Who says?

LTKDAP: Blarg!

Maybe it’s just fuzzy thinking, or maybe it’s just my flawed perception, but the LTKDA Parents are definitely a small subset of parents, and they seem to be the parents who operate under the flawed belief that they have to be more friend than disciplinarian to their kids, and that it’s somehow a bad thing to punish children, something to be avoided. The world doesn’t work that way, I’m afraid; kids DO need to be punished where it’s an important issue, and need to see their parents as authority figures.

My parents didn’t beat me or do anything unfair, but when I was a kid I had a healthy fear of their wrath. It can be done. And I believe most parents do it.

11

Not trailer trash, but trash just the same. If I were you, I’d politely tell the mother, “I let Mr. X know about your kids’ vandalism, and next time I’ll call the cops first”. Why should they get away with that? Fight 'em.

12

pkbites, while I agree with the gist of your OP, this comment really got my goat. My grandmother raised 9 kids–and a good majority of them grew up in a trailer park. My grandfather wasn’t a “professional” man, but he made damn sure his kids knew right from wrong.
At the same time, I live in a pretty shitty neighborhood. I don’t make a ton of money. I’m still capable of being a good parent (and I think I am). The fact that someone makes good money doesn’t mean they’re inherently equipped to raise a child into a decent human being. And along those same lines, the fact that someone might have to sometimes struggle to get the bills paid doesn’t mean you should automatically assume that their parenting skills are likely to be deficient.

13

Actually, I think that would be highly entertaining.

14

Okay, before anyone flames me, I used the term “trailer trash” as a generic term for white trash, hicks, scum bags, or what ever derogatory remark that won’t offend the masses, etc… Obviously one need not live in a trailer to be trash. And one who lives in a trailer may not be trash.
A derogatory remark that won’t offend!:smack:

15

I always try my best not to blame the parents. I’m not a parent, I never will be, so I figure I have no way to judge whether or not I’d be any more effective with my parenting skills than anybody else. However…

I worked in a bar/restaurant for years. One customer particularly stands out in my memories. She came in with three small boys under the age of ten (we allowed children in during lunch hours at weekends). She sat at a table, ordered food and a drink, then got stuck into a hefty novel. The boys went wild. They kicked and knocked over empty chairs. They ran around picking up food off tables that had not yet been cleared, throwing it across the room at each other. The restaurant building was mainly made up of huge plate windows: the boys took it in turns to go outside and pull faces against the windows while the other two bashed at the glass until it rattled. Their mother sat and read her book, not once even looking in their direction which was odd as they were shrieking loud enough to have found the attention of everyone else in the building.

I was the senior member of staff on duty. I asked her once, nicely, if she’d keep her children with her at the table. After a few more complaints from other customers, I asked her again, and said if her children didn’t stay with her, she’d have to leave. She sighed, called them over and told them to sit, then picked up her book again. They promptly ran outside and started bashing at the windows again, she didn’t even seem to notice. I lost my temper, went out, grabbed the lot of them and told the little buggers that if they didn’t sit with their mother and stop causing trouble, that I’d call the police. I felt awful, it was a threat my mother had used on me when I was younger. They went and told their mother, who went ballistic on me. Apparently her boys had ADD and people like me just didn’t understand the condition at all, and that I had no right to interfere with how she supervised her own children. She gathered them up in a pissy fit and left, complaining loudly and saying that she’d get me fired. I got a round of applause from the other customers soon as she’d flounced out the door.

16

Potter - IMO, you are lucky you did not catch MAJOR SHIT for grabbing the lot of them - assuming that meant you physically laid hands on them.

17

Oh, very true, I know it wasn’t even close to the best course of action I could’ve taken. Yes, I physically grabbed them, I wasn’t at all rough but physical contact was made. Far as I can see, I’d already tried to prevent the situation, but they were banging and kicking on the windows hard enough for me to consider it to be a safety risk (it was strengthened glass but I had my doubts about the window frame’s ability to stand up to that kind of repeat punishment) and one which I needed to do something about. As the manager on duty, it was becoming a health and safety issue for me, I’d have been lax to do nothing.

Plus I’ll admit I was pissed. This is why I try not to blame the parents, I doubt very much that I’d do much better. I’d probably manage to put down the damn book for a moment, though.

18

People used to say the world is made up of two kinds of people: Those that have kids, and those that don’t. Well they are wrong! The world is made up three kinds of people:

**1)Those that have kids and are crappy parents

2)Those that have kids and are good parents

3)Those that don’t have kids**

:wink:

19

One of the worse things you can say to my son is I’m going to tell your mom/dad.

I, too, don’t understand parents who don’t teach their children their proper place. I’m not a parent who believes children should be seen and not heard (like my mother used to be) but I do believe children are not on par with adults and should be treated as such.

[sub]The more I read that last line, the worse it sounds. I’ll explain if any one is offended by it, though.[/sub]

20

It’s not always the parents’ fault if a kid “goes bad,” but it also sure is annoying when they don’t seem to be making an effort. I know of a large family in which every single child but one turned out fine. Unfortunately a member of my extended family married that one. When the marriage ended, the mother assured the spouse, “It’s not your fault; we had really hoped your influence would help him, but he’s been a liar and a cheat his whole life and nothing we did seemed to make any difference.”

On another note: I once saw a family in the airport – youngster about 8 was climbing all over everything, running about, entirely out of control, while the parents did nada. Then kiddo climbs up on a chair and demands ice cream. Parents said no, there was not time before Grandma’s plane. “Yes, there is!” shrieks Kiddo. “You have time if you hurry! Go! Now! Quickly! Quickly! Quickly!” My teenage daughter waited, holding her breath, for what she assumed would be the logical consequences, remembering what might have happened to her at that age had she behaved in such a manner. Bad news: One parent scurries off to get ice cream for the little monster. Step one in the making of a self-centered, abusive tyrant.

My daughter as a very young child found it very difficult to sit still and be quiet for more than, literally, one minute. As a result we did not go to anything more upscale than brief visits to fast food joints with her until she learned better. From time to time we’d try it out, and the message given was that restaurants were for people who were able to stay in their chairs and use an “indoor voice” the whole time. No beatings or punishments, just removal from the situation to try again another day. She is a very responsible adult now, has worked as a waitress and a bartender, and is absolutely livid when someone brings a misbehaving child into her workplace.