FUCK!! :smack:
Puppy Uppers and Doggie Downers
Damn, someone beat me by a few minutes on this one.
How about the traveler’s checks from the guy who never left his apartment?
From the looks of things, it looks like everyone should read THIS thread VERY CAREFULLY before they post another SNL commercial skit. Read ALL of the posts, then come back and post your response. 
Que music featuring the beautiful people enjoying only the finer things in life.
Your not like the rest…You’ve never accepted second best…
And what’s more the world owes You…
Voice over:
That’s right your going to hell.
A message from God
Another great one is from when Jack Black hosted and they had a commercial for a new birthday song. Will Ferrell comes out in this awesome bowl haircut and says, “There’s no quicker way to kill a party than singing that tired old ‘Happy Birthday’ song. It’s complicated, long, difficult to sing, and impossible to remember.” Then Jack Black comes out and starts singing a simple birthday tune, which quickly progresses into an elaborate show, complete with multiple stages, flying, and druids.
“Abraxas! Abraxas, I give myself to thee!”
This one had me cracking up:
On second thought, maybe I should have linked to that :smack:
The Roach Dungeon: Go medieval!
There was also the Roach Brothel – “Roaches make out but they don’t get out!”
There was one for the Enigma – a car made by two different design teams – one team designed it with the best brakes possible, the other with no brakes at all, etc., etc. – the final product being shown, or rather concealed, under a fluttering sheet. “The Enigma: The best car of the year! Or is it the worst?”
From the original-cast years: A guy is at the kitchen table, coughs, and says to his wife, “Honey, I think I just coughed up a piece of my lung!” A suit comes on and says, “How many times has this happened to you?” Then the wife chops off her fingertip. “The Speci-Pak!” – a refrigerated briefcase for getting your “specimen” safely to the hospital for analysis or reattachment. Come to think of it, this one would actually make sense. At least, as part of an army doctor’s field kit. Wouldn’t be surprised if they have them.
Also from the OC years: “New Dad!” A life insurance policy that not only pays off if the man of the house meets an untimely end, but also provides a replacement husband-and-father.
That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever read in my life. Pardon me while I projectile vomit.
I have a SNL book from the '70s – it contains a script for a skit about “Placenta Helper,” which was never aired. “CENSORED” is stamped on the pages in big red letters. A skit about a movie or TV special called “Jesus of Nashville” (Jesus and the two thieves, hanging on the cross, lift their heads and start singing while a light show plays and the crowd roars) got the same treatment.
I remember an ad for a program that posts the full texts of great books on highway billboards, lots and lots of them. A truck driver talks about how he’ll earn his master’s degree in philosophy as soon as he finishes Sartre’s Being and Nothingness on his next run. “Sponsored by the Petroleum Council.”
Herbal Essences for Men, with all the men in the courtroom washing their hair and having embarrassing man orgasms. Funniest commercial ever.
Well you have mentioned most of my favorites-the change bank, the Adobe, puppy uppers, bag o’ glass. If we are talking all ads and not just products, though, I put in a plug for the uvula PSA
“Knock, knock”
“Who’s there?”
“Babs’ uvula”
“Babs’ uvula who?”
“I don’t know, but I do know this…”
How about the error-proof headache test–you can never be sure if you have a headache or not. All you do is take a blood sample, put it in the centrifuge, wait an hour, and then put a drop on the test strip. Blue means you have a headache, clear means you don’t, green means inconclusive–try again. Janeane Garofolo’s character says, “Oh, I’m in agony!” Kevin Nealon’s character looks at her strip and says, “You don’t have a headache.” She says, “I’m so glad,” and then they hug.
I forget the name of it, but there was this breakfast cereal laced with Ecstasy – turned this middle-class exec into a raver . . .
Much longer ago, there was an animated frog or something with an Irish brogue, advertising a cereal made of “sugar, with just a touch of wheat flavor” – an obvious parody on the Cookie Crisp commercials.
I think that was called “Finger-Off”. And new “Toe-Rific” for toes!
I was watching SNL when it premiered. If I recall, the very first parody commerical was for an arthritis medicine called Triopenin. It had a child-proof cap that was virtually impossible for somebody with arthritis to open.
I remember an ad for a funeral home that went to some lengths to promise that they would not have sex with your loved one’s body – and that if an employee was caught having sex with your relative’s body, that employee could be severely disciplined, including suspension for up to three full weeks.
Sorry – not “Finger-Off”, but “Handy-Off”. Better name.