Joseph Heller was an optimist.
Stranger
Reuters has the straight dope on this. The breakdown is as follows:
- 4 Billion: the amount sent in cash to Iraq, in three payments
- 12 Billion: The total amount Bremer & co. dispursed to the Iraqis during Bremer’s administration (including the above 4 billion)
- 8.8 Billion: The current amount unaccounted for from the original 12b.
- 2777 miles: The driving distance from New York to Los Angeles (according to google maps)
-** 4 times**: The number of times you could lay a trail of $100 bills end to end from New York to Los Angeles (and still have enough left over for a stop in Vegas,) if you had 12 billion dollars to do it with.
Oh yeah, and it’s 363 tons, not 343. You misplaced 20 tons. (Ever thought of being an accountant for the Bush administration?)
Ever thought of reading the thread title before getting all prissy? The story’s come out in multiple forms with multiple versions of dollar amounts which implies multiple possible weights.
BTW, that Reuters story with your ‘straight dope’:
1.5 + 2.4 + 1.6 = 5.5, not the 4 billion they lead the story with. How much does Reuters $1.5 billion ‘rounding error’ weigh?
Putting on my Amazing Karnak hat, I predict there will be an action movie that involves the hijacking of a plane carrying billions of dollars worth of $100 bills in a very short period of time. It will probably be called ‘Under Siege 3: Iraqi clusterfuck’, or some such.
So if the airplane were losing altitude over Baghdad, and had to lose some weight, and they pushed a pallet out of the plane at 1,025 feet, and it accelerates at thirtytwo feet per second squared on top of Achmed Sixpack, he would be one of the worlds ten richest men for .0275 seconds, and then about a hundred fifty pounds of hamburger jello spread out over a radius 157.65 meters. Approximately.
See? The movie writes itself!
I swear I feel like crying.
Billions of dollars. Billions. Billions of dollars that could have gone to making Iraq a liveable place for its people.
You know, I don’t think TPTB ever had the inclination to do anything other than utterly destroy that country – for that matter, to destroy every country in the Middle East. A kindergartener could run this shit better.
Ah, but kindergarteners have something the Bush Administration doesn’t have.
Adult Supervision.
Shhh. . . It’s in my garage. That’s why my cars are out on the street.
I think you could afford to buy a new garage for your cars – or a new street.
http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/02/06/iraq.cash.reut/index.html There were 3 shipments.
Okay, you’re right, the numbers still don’t add up. <insert smartass line about ‘fuzzy math’.>
Hey, I’ll take that off your hands for you for a slight fee.
Stranger
Absolute gold.
From Leviosaurus in the GD thread, in case anyone missed it. A wonderfully succinct description of the matter.
Dear Mr./Ms. Straight Doper,
My name is Muhammed Abdullah Muhammed. I am a employee of BAGHDAD INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT CARGO TERMINAL. In June 22, 2004 I assisted in the unloading and storage of US$2,410,600,000 (TWO BILLION FOUR HUNDRED TEN MILLION SIX HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS). This money has been stored un my workplace since that time. Policy at Baghdad International Airport is for luggage and cargo be given to employees if unclaimed for 30 months. What employee receives items is chosen by draw lots. Last December I drew lot awarding me unclaimed shipment of US$2,410,600,000. This money belongs to me LEGALLY but all banks in Iraq are corrupt and cant be trusted. I would like to move this money into a US bank. I got your contact through the NET from my seriousness and anxiousness in contacting a reputable foreigner who will assist me in investing overseas and have decided to seek your personal assistance in this matter. In exchange for your help, I will give you 20% or $482,120,000 (FOUR HUNDRED EIGHTY-TWO MILLION ONE HUNDRED TWENTY THOUSAND US DOLLARS).
I await your response eagerly. Please treat this matter with great confidentiality. Do not tell anyone because I will be in great danger if rogue militias here find out.
Very sincerely,
Muhammed Abdullah Muhammed
Awesome! Mind if I forward that? (With appropriate disclaimers, of course. You know some idiot would fall for it otherwise.)
No, no. Absolute unmarked $100 bills!