4 fuckin' times!! (A post game, beer induced, lame rant)

The BBQ Pit
1

Tonights hockey stats:

Tripler GP: 1 G: 0 +/-: -1 SOG: 4

FOUR FUCKIN’ TIMES! Four SOG on a friggin’ net with holes wider than a porn star’s legs, and I CAN’T FUCKIN’ CONNECT!

Trip’s SOG No. 1: [Announcer voice] . . . right wing picks up the puck in the neutral zone and starts hauling down the wing. Two defensemen come onto him at the top of the offensive zone, Tripler passes to left wing, left wing winds up, holds, defensemen center up, leftie passes to Tripler - OPEN WIDE! SHOT! Nothing–off the pipes . . .[/Announcer Voice]

TSOG No. 2[Announcer voice] . . . left wing and right down the ice, two-on-one, leftie passes to Tripler . . . OPEN RIGHT SIDE! Heeeeee fumbles, can’t connect. . .[/Announcer Voice]

TSOG No. 3[Announcer voice] . . . breakaway, right winger Tripler hauls butt down the ice, defenseman two steps behind, he winds up, WRIST SHOT! And, he should have gift wrapped it 'cause that was a gift to the goalie. . .[/Announcer Voice]

TSOG No. 2[Announcer voice] . . . down low, left wing deep in the corner, Tripler by the crease, leftie pulls it out -ONE TIMER! Annnnd Tripler doesn’t make it. . . [/Announcer Voice]

DAMMIT! DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT! I haven’t been this lucky in weeks! We lost 3 - 1 and I could have at least answered ‘em! Dammit!! I got a kickass wrist shot [sub]years of. . . practice[/sub]. 4 FUCKIN’ OPEN HOLES! :mad:

Charlie Brown, I know that relationship you have with Lucy’s football. If you ever catch her, give her a hip check for me.

Tripler
AAAAAAAUUUUUGHHHHHHH!!

2

Maybe if you’d had a little more to drink, this would make sense. Maybe if I had a little more to drink, this would make sense. Or maybe this is all just some kind of hockey thing, which I fear means it will never make sense.

3

Dude, at least you get to play. Not everyone is that fortunate. Hell, I can’t even skate.

It’s just a game…

4

Number 1 is not a SOG (hit the post)

Number 2 is not a SOG (no shot taken?)

Of course your percentage is still as bad as Alexei Zhitnik.

5

fuck

6

Well NBIT33, it wasn’t a regulation SOG, but it sure felt like one to me . . . :mad:

Trucido, I don’t drink before the game. I can’t stand that winded, buzzed feeling. I leave my drinking till after the game - either to celebrate or (in this case) to forget.

Damn. And I only had three beers last night too. :mad:

I think the dog has been raiding my stash of Miller Lite in the fridge again. . . :mad:

Tripler
Sit Ubu, sit. . . Damn dog. . .

7

Ruff!

8

Well the Leafs lost, so that sucks.

9

Might I make a suggestion? Go for the assists :smack: