4 y.o. mayor of Dorset, Minn. up for re-election

We know he’s pro-ice cream and pro-fishing and that his platform is a booster seat. Other than that, he’s kind of mysterious.

Four more years! Four more years! Four more years!

Can we count on his honor to not let kindergarten distract him from his duties?

Yes, and when will he respond to the rumors that he eats boogers?

Is it true that he has caught “cooties” from a girl at the playground?

As I am also a staunch supporter of ice cream and ice cream rights, I heartily endorse the re-election of Mayor Tufts.

Regarding these unsubstantiated and scurrilous allegations regarding booger eating and girl cooties, Mayor Tufts wishes to state to his detractors that he is rubber and they are glue, and whatever they say bounces off of him and sticks to them.