I’ll take a piece of that. How many “Jesus is coming a week from Tuesday” predictions does that make now? Is it into quintuple digits yet? Or was that really Him in the tail of that comet and He just missd his stop?
JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis
Maybe He was here already, JB.
He saw what a great job Jimmy Swaggert was doing, so He went golfing with Dad and the Holy Spook.
This space for rent.
My predictions:
The poor will be in the streets dieing and the rich will be up in their apartments logging on to cybernetic opium. (I didn’t come up with this one, some guy said it on an HBO special about predictions of the future.)
The future will become increasing retro. Notice how all that space age sleekness and stylized look is actually furniture from the 30s-60s?
The average person will be as stupid as ever, probably even more so than now.
Jesus will not return. He/She/It will come for the first time.
Right pl,and when I am right,what would I then want with money?
pl,you forgot:you’re not going to Have any heirs!(didn’t mean to split heirs ;))
OC said:
“Right pl,and when I am right,what would I then want with money?”
Well, I’m sure you look quite fetching as you are, but a little extra glamour never hurts.
You could buy yourself some new frocks and pumps and perhaps treat yourself to a rinse and set. 
This space for rent.
A religious event where they don’t take up a collection? Silly you.
JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis
He’s back already! I saw him in Vegas…or was that Elvis? Shit.
Stop it Wally, yer killin’ me!! 
orangecakes: thanks i didn’t know you even posted here until I was reading in your thread in the BBQ pit.
Yours,
Phaedy
JBENZ wrote in the OP:
Nah, swordfish won’t go extinct. Too many people enjoy eating them. So, swordfish farms/ranches will start springing up, leaving the wild swordfish to repopulate themselves in peace.
Huh huh, you said “boobs”.
“Love 'em, fear 'em, and leave 'em alone.” – Dr. Spockiavelli
What do you guys think are the chances of a civil upheaval in the US in the next 100 years? Something serious…like a civil war or a revolution. Hell, we’ve only been around for 200 years and some change, it’s not like Democracy has stood the test of time.
Name a western civilization that has been the big boy on the block for more than 200 years?
By 2100 someone’s going to be running the whole show and it ain’t going to be us.
I think it’s unlikely without some outside influence like a nuclear war. Barring that the only things I can think of that might generate armed conflict would be a massive depression and economic collapse (possible), a large scale plague causing the breakdown of social services (possible), the collapse of Social Security (likely to happen but unlikely to generate a revolution) or a religious war (unlikely but possible if the nutz continue to try to establish a state religion).
I think it’s highly unlikely that the US will be the world’s preeminent economic or military power in a hundred years. Democracy, if it survives as anything but window dressing, will be subordinate to the global corporate power structure.
JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis
More likely than not, the US democracy will collapse because people are stupid and demand stupid things and will pass stupid laws trying to do the impossible (like give everyone an above-average income or pay less than average taxes, or just give themselves bread and circuses).
My predictions:
The word “familiar” will be spelt “fermiliar.”
Jesus will return, but he’ll be holding hands with Arthur Pendragon, the once and future <strike>queen</strike> king.
Electricity will be the drug of choice.
I will be extinct. With any luck.
Official Poster of the Millenium
Surgoshan:
Bullseye.
“It is lucky for rulers that men do not think.” — Adolf Hitler
My predictions for the next 100 years:
The United States will collapse under its debt. The people will rise up and the new nation will be less of a ‘free’ country but will be stronger and wiser.
The United Nations will make a serious attempt at becoming the world government. This will flop when industrialized nations refuse to support the third world peoples as ‘welfare’ cases.
China will fight a civil war as different power mongers in the communist government try to take control. Mainland China will be forced to admit Taiwan is an independent nation.
The United States will fight another civil war. This will be separate from #1. It may be before or after #1 occurs.
Jesus will return, twice. Judaism and Christianity will be severely fragmented by these two events.
Some third world country will nuke a U.S. city and brag about it openly to prove their strength. This country will be put back to the stone ages as the United States proves its ability to retaliate. This will happen so quickly that the international community will not have a chance to react.
Russia will fragment even further. Small nations will be free of Russian rule for the first time in centuries. Unfortunately, they will not be able to economically support themselves and will live in a state of perpetual civil upheaval.
People will still report seeing Elvis 100 years after he died.
Lazy parents will still blame mass media for their kid’s failings.
The next person who steps on the moon will be A) male and B) oriental and C) claim the moon for his country.
The first person to step foot on Mars will be A) Caucasian and B) male.
The creationist/evolutionist debate will still be running hot, but both are to stupid to know that they are both wrong.
Mankind will launch its first purpose built interstellar probe. An overpriced component from the lowest contractor will fail. The probe will be lost.
There will be no serious attempt to colonize any of the solar systems other planets or their moons. Governments will not want people leaving their control.
TV’s, radios, and computers will be consolidated into one item. This will allow almost anyone to be on the net. Unfortunately, the videophone portions of this device will allow governments to keep a better eye on their people.
Computers will be able to create special graphics that will make it impossible to distinguish real actors and computer renderings from each other. The actor’s guild will be upset about this and stage a strike. Studios won’t care.
Students will study our lives and make fun of: 1) Our fashions and 2) what we thought their fashions would be.
Robots will still be completely mindless and worthless automations.
There will be a true artificial intelligence created. It will be murdered by its creators and forgotten about.
People will still be abducted by aliens. There will still be no proof that they exist.
Atlantis will be discovered, in the Black Sea.
Network television will still exist out of tradition. Their shows will not improve.
Computers will get quicker and have larger memory. Programs will get more complicated and take up more memory, net gain 0.
Israel will collapse under it’s own hates and fears. Jews will once again have no country to call their own.
The U.S. will once again be rife of monopolistic corporations. Once again, the U.S. courts will have to fight for 50 years to break them up.
Something will come along and replace labor unions. The mob will then seize control of these entities.
An earthquake along the New Madrid fault will destroy Memphis or St. Louis.
Catholics in the U.S. will splinter from Rome forming the American Catholic Church.
There will be a white female president of the U.S. Other than that, it will remain a white male office.
Some fundamentalist group will have to be savagely put down when they attempt a coup of the U.S. government. The ACLU will sue the government for violating the group’s freedom of religion.
Hawaii, Florida, and California will become so overcrowded that their state mottos will be “Standing Room Only.”
North Dakota and Minnesota will become so sparsely populated that the government will once again give out land grants to attract people to these places. The only ones who will respond will be separatists.
Canada will fight a civil war.
There will be no “World War.” While the wars that are fought will create huge casualty counts, there will be no single war that creates the mobilization that WWII did.
Viet Nam vets will still wine and cry about how unfairly they were treated. The last WWII vet will die remembering how lucky he was to survive and die of old age.
Some body will attempt to resurrect the Dodo bird by using DNA and a chicken egg. This will eventually work.
Paranoid fruit loops that believe the government is after them will still post on message boards.
Religious fanatics will still post on message boards.
People who believe solely in the scientific principle will still post on message boards.
No one will listen to what the common person wants, though everyone claims to speak for that person.
People will talk about how honest politicians were back in the 1900’s.
Society will still refuse to blame itself for its failings.
People will talk about how times were good in the 1900’s.
Cockroaches and rats will still be a problem to human cities.
Medicines will start to seriously fail as diseases evolve to be resistant to them.
Someone will make movies based on the evening soap operas such as “Friends,” “Beverly Hills 90210,” and “Melrose Place.” These movies will be the top grossing movies of all time.
Some kind of music will come along that is more embarrassing than disco. After 7 years, everyone will sober up and try to forget that it even existed.
Attempts to merge human brains with computers will fail catastrophically. The owners of the experimental technology will be sued into poverty. The brain dead victim’s family will wait until they have their money to pull the plug.
The pope will come from Africa before he ever comes from the New World.
Humanity will continue its slide into the second Dark Ages.
The Church of Elvis will be the next new religion. Remember the story-he died, was buried, and rose again (Elvis works as a check-out clerk at a 7-11 store in Woonsocket, RI).
Many healings have been attributed to him (I know of one 350 pound woman who was cured of her compulsion for Twinkeys, by invoking his help).
Possible but more likely the collapse will be from excess bureaucracy likethe USSR.
Possible but a more likely cause of failure will be religious intolerance.
4) The United States will fight another civil war.
Very unlikely except on religious grounds.
5) Jesus will return, twice. Judaism and Christianity will be severely fragmented by these two events.
Highly unlikely but, if it happens I wanna be first in line to buy tickets.
And most of them will be annexed by larger neighbors like India and China.
9) Lazy parents will still blame mass media for their kid’s failings.
They’ll certainly continue to blame everything they can think of except themselves.
A & B are likely, C not so likely.
11) The first person to step foot on Mars will be A) Caucasian and B) male.
A manned mission to Mars is highly unlikely without major improvements in technology. If it comes off it will be a joint venture and Asians wil play a major role.
13) Mankind will launch its first purpose built interstellar probe. An overpriced
component from the lowest contractor will fail. The probe will be lost.
More likely it will be gone so long that it will be forgotten before it reports back.
14) There will be no serious attempt to colonize any of the solar systems other planets or their moons. Governments will not want people leaving their control.
Right prediction, wrong reason. Governments would control colonies until they become self sufficient but they won’t have the tech or the money to create them in the next hundred years.
Very likely.
16) Computers will be able to create special graphics that will make it impossible to distinguish real actors and computer images from each other.
Already under way. I’m holding out for the Net Marx Brothers Movie.
17) Students will study our lives and make fun of: 1) Our fashions and 2) what we thought their fashions would be.
Safe bet.
18) Robots will still be completely mindless and worthless automations.
Mindless yes, worthless, no.
19) There will be a true artificial intelligence created. It will be murdered by its creators and forgotten about.
Or vice versa.
20) People will still be abducted by aliens. There will still be no proof that they exist.
'Nother safe bet.
21) Atlantis will be discovered, in the Black Sea.
And they’ll find the Ark there too.
22) Network television will still exist out of tradition. Their shows will not improve.
Networks are already obsolete and on their way out. They will be replaced by corporate content producers. Programming will still suck.
23) Computers will get quicker and have larger memory. Programs will get more
complicated and take up more memory, net gain 0.
Hardware will run away from software. Software will become modularized and sold by subscription.
Unlikely but possible.
25) The U.S. will once again be rife of monopolistic corporations. Once again, the U.S. courts will have to fight for 50 years to break them up.
This time they will lose.
26) Something will come along and replace labor unions. The mob will then seize control
of these entities.
Depends on what replaces them. Unions as they currently exist will not be able to stand up to multinational corporations.
28) Catholics in the U.S. will splinter from Rome forming the American Catholic Church.
Highly unlikely but the Chrch wil continue to cater to American idiosyncracies.
29) There will be a white female president of the U.S. Other than that, it will remain a
white male office.
A Female President is pretty much a sure thing. A Black President is possible, probly by way of the Vice-Presidency.
Replace “fundamentalist” with “religious” and it’s possible.
32) North Dakota and Minnesota will become so sparsely populated that the government will once again give out land grants to attract people to these places. The only ones who will respond will be separatists.
Add South Dakota and wonder if even separatists are that desperate.
33) Canada will fight a civil war.
Highly unlikely. The US is the trigger happy part of this continent.
Highly unlikely. There will be a least one major war and it will escalate to nukes without deliberate planning.
36) Some body will attempt to resurrect the Dodo bird by using DNA and a chicken egg.
This will eventually work.
Possible.
40) No one will listen to what the common person wants, though everyone claims to
speak for that person.
The more things change the more they stay the same.
Unlikely. Nobody does that abut the 1800s.
42) Society will still refuse to blame itself for its failings.
Safe bet.
'Nother safe bet.
44) Cockroaches and rats will still be a problem to human cities.
And mosquitoes and telemarketers.
Very possible.
Sadly possible.
I think they call it Rap.
48) Attempts to merge human brains with computers will fail catastrophically. The
owners of the experimental technology will be sued into poverty. The brain dead victim’s
family will wait until they have their money to pull the plug.
Yup.
49) The pope will come from Africa before he ever comes from the New World.
Very possible.
50) Humanity will continue its slide into the second Dark Ages.
Or come up with a better idea.
JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis
It’s 11 monthes into the new millenium…
Let’s see how your doing.
The French will always think that way, but i doubt the rest.
Yeah, I’d say we’re going downhill fast.
They don’t already?
Only 100 year wait to find out…
No doubt.
Yeah
Harpo will be funny forever.
Well find ways to cure or control AIDS and cancer, but the common cold will forever remain beyond our control.
He will. It’s almost done already.
They don’t already?
Isn’t it that way already?
The curse of the Bambino lives on.
Never.
I love that show.
I really, really hope not.
Amen to that.
It already is. It’s the slogan of this site.