50 Predictions

Great Debates
1

What with the new century almost (only 13 months) upon us, seems like a good time to make our predictions for the next hundred years. I’m ignoring global nuclear war (possible) and planet killing meteors (unlikely) which make predictions moot. I put this in GD in hopes that it’ll generate a little discussion. :slight_smile:

So, In the next 100 years:

  1. People will routinely use genetic engineering to tailor their offspring. Strangely enough, most kids will look just like their parents. Only bigger.

  2. There will be Female and Black presidents of the US. They won’t be any better than the other boobs.

  3. Cloning of people will never become popular but some twit will try it…and be disapointed when the result isn’t him.

  4. Fundies and other religious cranks will be just as nutz and even more numerous. Somebody will start a new religion that is so absurd that no sane person could take it seriously. By 2099 it will be adopted by 20% of the Earth’s population.

  5. By 2099 the average man in the street will not be able to name more than two 20th Century Presidents (FDR and Kennedy). (Just like, today, the only ones he can name from the 19th are Lincoln and…uh…wotsisname…Jefferson).

  6. Somebody will pop a nuke in the US. (Popping a nuke somewhere in the world is a sure thing).

  7. Tobacco Prohibition will be instituted in the US. Alcohol Prohibition will be reinstituted in the US. The French will still think we’re idiots.

  8. Man will go to the moon but will not go to Mars. The next person to step on the moon will not be (a) male, or (b) Caucasian. We will launch an interstellar probe.

  9. In 2099 the most powerful nation on earth will be China. Number Two will be India. Number 3 will be Europe which will include Russia and the Ukraine. The US may make the top 10 (but only after we merge with Canada). The Brits and French will still refuse to adopt a common language.

  10. Bioelectric implants in humans will become commonplace. Everybody will be online all the time.

  11. The government will know where everybody is and what they are doing all the time but won’t admit it. Every human being will have a permanent ID number.

  12. Somebody will discover or invent something that changes everything and knocks all predictions into a cocked hat.

  13. Some of the people who post to this thread will be around in 2099 to do it again.

  14. We will not all become vegetarians. People will still eat things that are bad for them because it is fun.

  15. Tigers, Swordfish and Network Television will become extinct. Soap operas will not.

  16. World War III.

  17. English (albeit in a form that we would have trouble recognizing today) will be the common language of Homo Sapiens. The French will be pissed.

  18. We will not be fried by global warming or frozen by the next ice age. People will still get elected by claiming that it’s gonna happen any minute.

  19. The Big One will hit California. Nobody will move away.

  20. We will not discover extraterrestrial intellience.

  21. Harpo will still be funny.

  22. PCs, silicon chips, cell phones, fax machines, analog TVs, CDs & recording tape, piston engines, propeller driven aircraft & newspapers will exist only in museums. Kids will be bored to tears when they get dragged there to see them.

  23. Teenagers will still be a pain in the ass. They will still enjoy it. Parents will still be convinced that the world is going to hell in a handbasket.

  24. We will find ways to cure or control AIDS, cancer and the common cold. Something worse will come along.

  25. We will give up on trying to find something to replace books. 95% of what gets published will still be crap.

  26. There will be even more advertising in every aspect of life and we will never find a cure for spam.

  27. Everybody but the Jews will forget about Hitler. Until the next time.

  28. George Lucas will not finish the second Star Wars Trilogy.

  29. Shakespeare will still be a popular source for movies and the only 19th Century work that will still be read by the general public will be Conan Doyle’s “Sherlock Holmes”.

  30. In 2099 more people will visit Graceland than the Viet Nam Memorial.

  31. Everybody will have cable or satellite TV (or the equivalent). 95% of the prgramming will still be crap. Kids will be able to name more cast members of “The Brady Bunch” than US Presidents.

  32. The Red Sox will not win the World Series. A Japanese team will. Somebody will hit 80 homers. Twice. The second time nobody will notice.

  33. You still won’t be able to get good TexMex in Boston.

  34. Emma Peel will still be the sexiest woman of all time.

  35. The United States will discover that there are people living South of the Equator.

  36. We will not find a way to eradicate rats, cockroaches, mosquitoes or telemarketers.

  37. Paper money will disappear. Vending machines will take $10.00 coins.

  38. Nobody will understand “Seinfeld”, “All in the Family” or “Saturday Night Live”.

  39. “Saturday Night Live” will still not be funny.

  40. “Rocky & Bullwinkle” will be.

  41. The most common response to Time Magazine’s List of the 100 most influential people of the 20th Century will be “Who??”

  42. Somebody will find the flaw in Einstein’s Theory of Relativity and a situation where e doesn’t always equal m c squared.

  43. There will be more lawyers.

  44. Rock stars will still dress funny and you won’t be able to understand the words.

  45. Nobody will remember Elton John and everybody will remember Duke Ellington.

  46. There will not be resort hotels in space or permanent residents on the moon. There will be privately owned and operated space craft.

  47. We will not discover the secret of immortality or extend the average lifespan beyond 100 years.

  48. Traffic will get worse.

  49. A kiss will still be a kiss, a sigh will still be a sigh and the fundamental things will still apply, as time goes by.

  50. Fighting ignorance will take longer than we thought.
    Ready? Go.

JB
Lex Non Favet Delicatorum Votis

2

Sorry, JBENZ, but I don’t think alcohol will be prohibited. When studies indicate that including red wine in a daily diet can reduce the risk of heart disease, I don’t think that the FDA would do such a thing. Moreover, I don’t see a public movement towards supporting alcohol prohibition need to get the 18th amendment reinstated with a new amendment.

3

Let’s see…

  1. Close, but something you missed is that the fundies will alter their beliefs to fit in with the scientific facts that everyone will know are true by 2099.
  2. I think Nixon’s fame will probably carry on.
  3. Unfortunately, I agree.
  4. Don’t think so. Too much money involved.
  5. India? How did you come up with this?
  6. Nice thought, but it’s contradicted by #47.
  7. Nah, the common cold is eternal. Live with it.
  8. Optimistic. People will always look for some easier form of entertainment.
  9. It will get finished. It will also be crap.
  10. Edgar Allen Poe?, Alice in Wonderland?, Moby Dick?, A Christmas Carol?, Mark Twain? I think you’re being a little pessimistic.
  11. I think all currency will disappear.
  12. Amen.
4

Scientology. I’m serious.

Guaranteed.

Can you elaborate? If you mean a major thermonuclear exchange between two superpowers, all bets will be off.

5

I’m sure you’re right! :wink:

I doubt it, actually. When you realize that the most recent major religion was founded in 622, why should another come along in the next century?

I doubt all but the part about the French, and who cares about them?

No one gets elected now by claiming that it will happen any minute. But even though I won’t be alive to post here in 2099, I’ll likely live to see convincing evidence of global climate change.

Absolutely. And Groucho, too! :slight_smile:

Big deal. Few people will visit either place.

You could get a whole 'nother thread out of that. Diana/Emma is definitely near the top of my list - but not THE top.

Coins will disappear before paper money.

Not that soon.

Both true - fortunately(49), and unfortunately(50).

“From some other planet, I get this funky high on yellow sun” – Matchbox 20

6

JBENZ,

Is there an agenda hidden in this list? Were you just trying to sneak this one in and think no one would reply. Never watched it much myself, the episodes I did see were pretty good though, especially the older ones. Oh, there will be some controversy over this one, that’s my prediction. :wink:

“Teaching without words and work without doing are understood by very few.”
-Tao Te Ching

7

My own shorter list:
Maturing nanotech, biotech, genetic engineering, and computers will converge, and change, or at least make us think seriously about, what it means to be human.

This in fact is the premise that has been kicking around in my head for a novel. That and Sarah. She’s still in my head, but she’s much quieter lately. (and if anyone remembers what I’m talking about, I’ll be exceedingly impressed). What does it mean to be human when you can change your body or even your mind pretty much at will?

8

When I was a kid I used to buy Popular Science every month just for the predictions.
Here are some I remember:

Before the year 2000:

  1. Every home would have a videophone.
  2. A family helicopter in every garage.
  3. Robots doing housework.
  4. Moving sidewalks.
  5. A thriving colony on Mars.
  6. Hydrogen fusion.
  7. Vacations on the Moon.
  8. World government.
  9. Domed cities.
  10. 150 year life span
  11. Less crime.
  12. More wealth.
  13. A cure for the common cold.
  14. A 32 hour work week.
  15. Weather control.

Wish I had those mags now. There must be a couple of dozen I’ve forgotten.

This space for rent.

9

“7. Tobacco Prohibition will be instituted in the US. Alcohol Prohibition will be reinstituted in the US. The French will still think we’re idiots.”

More likely that currently illegal drugs will be made legal.

"11. The government will know where everybody is and what they are doing all the time but won’t admit it. Every human being will have a permanent ID number. "

Which government, China or India?

"15. Tigers, Swordfish and Network Television will become extinct. Soap operas will not. "

Add a few hundred other species.

“44. Rock stars will still dress funny and you won’t be able to understand the words.”

“Rock? What’s that?”

“4. Fundies and other religious cranks will be just as nutz and even more numerous. Somebody will start a new religion that is so absurd that no sane person could take it seriously. By 2099 it will be adopted by 20% of the Earth’s population.” and "30. In 2099 more people will visit Graceland than the Viet Nam Memorial. "

May Elvis be with you.

10

Without critiquing your list directly let me offer my own.

  1. Jesus will return.

That should affect the future in ways that some REALLY don’t want to think about. That about wraps it up.

Phaedrus

11

Why would He return after the ass-kicking we gave him the last time?

This space for rent.

12

Actually, the PPPL Tokamak was successful in creating a fusion reaction in 1994 (it only laster 1 second, but that’s still pretty good.) Unfortunately, financial problems caused them to shut down the reactor.

13

Not bad for a start:

  1. Alcohol & Tobacco Prohibition: Everybody disagrees. Bear in mind that the reason Alcohol Prohibition failed the last time was for two reasons: first, that only manufacture, transportation and sale were illegal, not use. (They won’t make that mistake again). Second, it would have been impossible to enforce against users at the time but, given that virtually everybody will be forced to submit to drug tests fairly soon, adding alcohol & tobacco tests will be simple. It will be done as tobacco prohibition is being done right now, by a massive propaganda campaign to change the public attitude, strike litigation against the manufacturers and by progressively more stringent regulation (just a litle bit at a time and always to a small enough group to avoid political fallout). All in our best interests of course. The Right wingers will love it and the insurance industry will finance it. No constitutional amendment needed. The medical benefits of alcohol will be downplayed and, of course, you’ll still be able to buy bad tasting “medicinal wine” for health purposes…by prescription only. The government will pick up the lost revenue just like it always does, by making the tax code even more incomprehensible and complex to hide the increases. All run by another huge, unkillable bureaucracy like the anti-drug establishment.

  2. Presidents: Nixon and Clinton will be remembered only for their impeachment problems (just as the only reason Andrew Johnson is remembered is his impeachment). The good things Nixon did, like opening up relations with China, will be forgotten (who was President when Perry sailed into Tokyo harbor?).

  3. 19th Century Lit: I’m serious about Holmes. Some people still read Poe’s stories and Twain’s “kid” books, but as far as Dickens, Dodgson and Melville go, very few outside of academia read them for fun. NOBODY reads Melville for fun. For the most part, aside from what we had inflicted on us in school, most 19th century authors are known to the guy in the street today only by reference to the films made of their works.

  4. Money: I don’t think coins will disappear, they are too efficient in vending machines and for little stuff like buying a pack of gum. Pennies, nickels and dimes will probably go as they will become esentially worthless. Anything expensive enuf to need paper money will be done by plastic though. Every salesperson will have a card swiper on their belt and a link to the central store computer. There are vast amounts of tax revenue to be captured if the government can wipe out the cash economy and make every dollar traceable by the IRS. That will happen 5 minutes after the technology is available.

  5. Religion: Lumpy mentions Scientology. That and the Mormons are what I had in mind. Two rapidly growing new religions in the last 200 years. (I consider LDS a new religion rather than another type of Christianity in the same sense that Christianity was a new religion built on the Hebrew scriptures.) Both, as well as the Christian Fundies are doing a booming business. Wouldn’t surprise me to see any or all of them get much bigger. Another new one or a merger is not a high risk bet.

MrKnowItAll sez: “something you missed is that the fundies will alter their beliefs to fit in with the scientific facts that everyone will know are true by 2099.” They don’t show any sign of doing it in terms of things everybody else knows in 1999. I doubt that will change. Ignoring reality is what fundamentalism is all about. Phaedrus may be right about Jesus coming back for all I know…but it won’t do Him any good if he can’t get booked on Oprah.

  1. World War III: That’s a gimme. A whole century without a major war? If I had to pick one to bet on that would be it. It’ll start when China goes North and West to settle the Russian Boundary dispute or when India finally mixes it up with the Muslims. Everybody will get sucked into those sooner or later. Too many little Whatchamacallitstans laying around after the USSR crashed. Somebody’s gonna try to pick them up. It’ll start out with conventional stuff and then tactical nukes from whoever is losing. If it goes to big stuff we won’t have to worry about all the other details. You teeney boppers better make sure your investment portfolio includes a building lot in Tierra del Fuego.

  2. Tech: TheNerd sez: “Maturing nanotech, biotech, genetic engineering, and computers will converge, and change, or at least make us think seriously about, what it means to be human.” I agree. I don’t think anybody has any idea of how the next century’s technology will affect the human critter. It will be a lot more profound than anybody expects. By 2099 we’ll be wired to the eyeballs. Literally.

There are two tech wild cards: Practical hydrogen fusion (which may or may not be possible) and cheap lift capability (God knows what: fusion or antimatter engines, gravity control, whatever)that could make space travel a practical reality instead of a government ego trip. Don’t look hopeful at the moment but, then again, nobody ever heard of atomic energy, chemical fuel rockets or digital computers in 1899. If next century’s Einstein is out there skulking around with a gravity wave generator in his pocket, all bets are off.

  1. Gummint: They already want to track the position of your cell phone. (In order to help you if you are in trouble, heh, heh, heh) When it’s a bioimplant they’ll know where you are all the time. If all your transactions are by plastic they’ll always know what you’re doing. If yer an Amurrican you already have a permanent ID number. Only question about that is how soon it gets tattooed on your wrist. (How’s that for something to look forward to?)

Anybody wanna argue that governments (and the corporations that control them) won’t get bigger and more intrusive in the next hundred years? Anybody wanna argue that politicians will magically start representing the public instead of the people who finance their campaigns? I think you belong in the “Why I Believe in the Easter Bunny” thread. Orwell wasn’t wrong, he just had the time scale off by about 50 years. :wink:

  1. Powerful Countries: China is easy. It is, and will be the biggest and it’s growing its economy and industrial & technological bases like mad. If she doesn’t get her nose bloodied too badly when she takes Siberia and the Whatchamcallitstans, or get nuked too badly messing with India, she’ll be number one with no problem.

India is more of a guess but, again, it has a huge population and a rapidly growing tech sector. If it doesn’t get nuked out by the Chinese or the Paks it will be right up there in a hundred years. Just the fact that they’ve been able to make a viable country out of about a zillion different ethnic and religious cultures with 2 zillion languages says a lot about their ability to survive and grow.

The Middle East is a wild card. If the Muslim states ever get their act together and create the big PanIslamic state it will change everything, as well as being the end of Israel which is another nuke fest looking for a place to happen. They’ve tried it before without success, but a hundred years is a long time…'specially when yer up to yer fez in oil money.

Europe will continue to consolidate politically and economically. In a hundred years it’ll be one country and smack up against China. You can’t get 10 Europeans into a straight line and get 'em to agree that the sun comes up in the East (sorta like Americans) but economics will win out over nationalism. (And you thought we had fun with Massachusetts and Mississippi in the same Congress? Heh.)

Lesse…what did I miss. Oh yeah:

  1. Rock & Roll will continue to evolve. It doesn’t really exist anyway, it’s just a code word for the music of the under 30 segment. There will always be one of those.

  2. Emma Peel is so the sexiest woman of all time and anybody who disagrees is blind, dead or a low down commie spy. :slight_smile:

JB<BR

14

In the spirit of the OP, my own predictions:

  1. People will use genetic engineering to cultivate ever longer penises.

  2. Anything will go on television. The most popular show of the 2050 season will be a sitcom about a guy with a two-foot-long schlong. Parents will complain that the commercial breaks are too long.

  3. People will use genetic engineering to create offspring who are half boy and half girl so that parents can have the fun of both without the work of raising two separate kids. These new creatures will be called ____. {Insert name of favorite gay celebrity here.]

  4. As people can be created by cloning, everyone will break down and admit that they never really enjoyed being hetero and will all become gay. Everyone will be hipper and have better fashion sense.

  5. A monkey will be elected President of the U.S. No, wait, that’s already happened. [Finish joke using name of your least favorite President.]

  6. The most powerful nation on earth will be Antarcticaland, as the voodoo sea monkeys living there will have found something really, really valuable hidden under the ice.

  7. Computerized robots will do 99% of the work. The smartest (dumbest?) 1% of the population will get stuck with that which requires creativity.

  8. It will become possible to exist in a perpetual state of orgasm. That is what the other 99% of the population will be doing with their time.

  9. With them off the roads, it will become a pleasure to drive.

  10. Genetic engineering will be used to make your excrement intelligent. That will be used to write sitcoms. Everyone will agree that sitcoms have become funnier.

  11. Parents who don’t enjoy child-rearing will opt for genetically engineered offspring who mature in a week.

  12. Parents who don’t wish their kids to ever grow up will opt for genetically engineered offspring who remain youthful for ever.

  13. Parents who don’t want children at all will opt for genetically engineered offspring who pop out as something useful, such as a car.

  14. Popular Hawaii will be expanded to one hundred times its natural size.

  15. People will use genetic engineering to grow food out of their own extremities. If you’re hungry, break a potato chip off your nose. [Finish joke with your own favorite food growing out of your least favorite part of your body.]

  16. Intercontinental transportation will become next to instantaneous. Wage slaves will have to come up with better excuses for being late to work.

  17. Alabama will become the dumping ground for the entire U.S. No, wait, that’s already happened.

  18. Women who wish to wear fur must genetically alter their bodies so as to grow the fur themselves.

  19. Liberals will continue to believe that, with just a little more government, everything will finally work.

  20. The numbering system will be altered to suit people too lazy to come up with fifty slots for a list.

15

Wally M7: He will return as a Lion this time not a lamb and all foes will be vanquished. He will return to judge.

Non-Christians will find themselves in the untenable situation being thrown from the frying pan (Earth) in to the fire (Hell).

Phaedrus :slight_smile:

16

No, I think we will just make our own hell right here.

17

I gotta agree with Phae here.It will definitely come true.

18

Phaedy, should that be the case, we will have no recourse but to launch a class action suit and have His judgement overturned by a higher authority.

This space for rent.

19

Phaedrus:

When?

20

I would like to extend to Phaedrus and orangecakes an offer to bet $150,000, each, that Jesus will NOT return in the next 100 years, amounts to be payable to the winner’s heirs if the winner is not alive on Jan. 1, 2100.

“Come on, Phonics Monkey–drum!”