Satanic or not, do you think the masons would repoint my foundations for free if I drank enough 7-Up?
After watching 7-Up commercials for the past few years, I have no trouble believing that it is a product of Ultimate Evil.
Pepsi has ‘Sierra Mist’, their knockoff of Sprite/7-Up.
My problem now is that the only diet soda in the fridge is Diet Pepsi, and every single can is labeled with an expiration date of Feb 17 2003. It tastes remarkably plastic-y, with a vague metallic hint to it. I probably shouldn’t drink it, but the only other choice is water, and we all know how that’s a communist plot to steal our precious bodily fluids.
I wonder if Pepsi is tied into this Satanic Freemason plot as well. There’s no other reason why these sodas taste … off.
There is a REXAM building off one of Chicago expressways. I always assumed it was some kind of industrial automated rectal exam equipment manufacturer. Made of aluminum, apparently.
That would be Mr. Pibb. Also known as the sweet, sweet Nectar of the Gods.
I thought 7-Up was caffeine free.
You’re saying “7-Up is owned by Satanic Freemasons” as if it were a bad thing … 
Of course! After all, they’re known as freemasons!
Hee hee… “Fellowship of the Ring” meets “The Gods Must Be Crazy”. Xi Baggins…
I love Squirt, myself.
Squirt is the nectar, verily.
Dr Pepper is next. Though remember, it originated in Waco! Home of Branch Davidians :eek: and Baylor University. :eek:
Something fishy is going on in Waco…;
So now would not be the time to mention that both of my brothers work for the 7UP distributor in Boise, right?
But they’re not evil, I swear it. They bring me cases of Snapple and A&W cream soda and GreenRiver for my stepfather when they come to visit. Their warehouse stocks neither coke, nor pepsi products as far as I know.
Besides, they would tell me if they were part of the conspiracy.
Right?
Well I gotta admit this post scared the pants off of me. I read Aunt Krisfer and ran to the door to see if that white van across the street had moved…
Wow, that almost makes me not wish to drink 7-Up anymore. Thanks a lot, Emo, for spoiling one of my favorite drinks.
sigh
Back to Sprite…
Whatever you do, be careful around strange visitors from out of town in the near future; they could be part of the Satanic Freemason conspiracy…
Of course 7-up is evil.
Otherwise, why would they have shown that comercial ~2 years ago where they basically said:
Make 7 UP YOURS
“Rexam” is obviously an abbreviation for “Rectal Examination.”
That means the anal-probing aliens are involved in this somehow…
Wow. That’s one diabolical plan they have there.
One question:
Where does Canada Dry Ginger Ale fit into all this?
I suppose you think that that Canada Dry Ginger Ale can be rearranged to spell An Alien Draggy Cadre is some sort of coincidence?!
It’s clear to me that Transvestite Transexuals from Transylvania are behind all of this…
REXAM ~ rectal examination <> make 7 UP YOURS
~clearly~
the tinfoil brigades ROAM at midnight - alien cadres! the !draggy Canadian aliens are here
they are coming
DOGSCAN!
Now they’ve got robotic ninja pirate zombie dogs on you!
Man, your ass is grass. Nice knowin’ you…