A better Simpsons chess set

Another entry in the evergreen Simpsons speculation thread tradition.

Most folks, I imagine, have seen the Simpsons chess set floating around the local game store. It’s not very imaginatively done, with each side being represented by the same characters (Homer and Marge as King and Queen both Black and White), all pawns are Bart, and so forth.

Which is a shame, because with such a large cast, the set could be quite detailed . . . if a little confusing to actually play chess with! So.

I’d agree with Homer and Marge as White’s King and Queen, but for Black . . . Mr. Burns and Smithers.

Rooks: White, Lenny and Karl. Black, Patty and Selma.

Knights: White: Bart and Lisa. Black: Jimbo and Kearny? Ms Krabapple and Ms Hoover? Krusty and Sideshow Bob?

I encourage everyone reading this to waste as much time as possible thinking about it.


King: Homer

Queen: Marge

Bishops: Moe and Barney

Knights: Lenny (“Not Lenny!”) and Carl

Rooks: Smithers and Mr. Burns

Pawns: Bart, Milhouse, Lewis, Richard, Nelson, Jimbo, Dolph, and Kearney.


King: Ned Flanders

Queen: Maude Flanders (may she rest in peace)

Bishops: Reverend Lovejoy and Rabbi Krustofsky

Knights: Principal Skinner and Mrs. Krabappel

Rooks: Chief Wiggum and Groundskeeper Willy

White: Lisa, Janey, Sherri & Terri, Ralph Wiggum, Martin, Uter, and Samantha Stanky.

I definitely like the idea of Smithers as one of the Queens.