A blast from the romantic past. Or, why I'm flying to Vegas

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Inspired by my post here, I feel compelled to share one of the most mundane, pointless topics I know: my love life.

Here I was, minding my own business, focused mainly on work while I lament an off-again, on-again relationship that I know in my heart isn’t going anywhere, when the love of my life came out of nowhere and contacted me.

We haven’t spoken in 6 years. She lives in Las Vegas, recently divorced. I live in Fort Lauderdale. Any ideas of rekindling lost romance are naïve and probably immature. Too much time has passed, and the distance (both literal and figurative) is probably too great.

So, naturally, I’m flying out to visit her on her birthday, the week before Christmas.

It doesn’t make sense; we both agree to that. We’re both motivated by impulsive, irrational feelings that, in her words, “make my head hurt”. But she is amazing – from her love of reading, to her propensity to quote South Park and Family Guy, to her love of animals, her fervent determination to do something with her life, her supermodel looks – I could go on and on. And I was deeply, truly in love with her when I last had the opportunity.

But, even if we were the right people, we came together at the wrong time. She was too young, and I wasn’t healthy in the head. I always wanted to know her throughout her life, but I had to realize that I first had to make good decisions about me. So, I broke up with her. While it was the right decision, and I’ve tried not to dwell on it, it was one of those times that you know you’ll regret until the day you die.

If you had the chance to make up for one of your biggest regrets in life, wouldn’t you jump at the chance?

In three weeks, I might be more confused in love, and that will just make life more complicated. Or, after we meet, we may decide that memories don’t meet up to reality, and this was a mistake, which will just make life more frustrating.

So – complicated or frustrated? Sounds like this can’t possibly go wrong.

At least I’ll get to visit Vegas.

2

Best of luck to you, Tom! Score one for the romantics!

3

I’m thinking of a TV or movie quote from somewhere, somewhere along the lines of “You love her (insert name here), and you never let go!”

Oh wait, it was Doctor Girlfriend telling the Monarch to love the Venture Brothers. Eww…

4

It sounds from the prior thread that you two were into partying and drinking together (drugs too?), and that a big reason why you broke up with her is because you needed to get away from that lifestyle to sober up. If she’s still into the “party” scene (which seems a safe bet if she is living in Vegas), are you sure this is not a situation where you might end up backsliding on your efforts to be clean and sober?

5

Normally, I am Las Vegas’ biggest cheerleader here on the board, but in your case, I can only wish you good luck and hope you keep everything in perspective.

One VERY STRONG WARNING:

Las Vegas can be intoxicating, both literally and figuratively. Beware of falling in love (both with the Ex and with the city) as people get easily carried away by the flash and excitement.

Promise one thing - do NOT, under any circumstances, just stay and not fly home. If you do want to come here and try to work things out, or make your own start in Las Vegas, return home and plan things out on your home turf.

Statistics showed that at one point, 7000 people were moving here to Las Vegas every month! But what is lesser known is that 3000 people move away every month!

But have a great time, and I am sure if she has been living here that long, she will be able to give you all of the insider tips. Just don’t catch the newbie disease and think living in Las Vegas will be one long vacation…people have to work and pay bills here too, so just take things slowly!

6

Well, I’m not too sure of anything right now. But, while she liked to go out to bars when we dated, she was never a problem drinker, and didn’t do drugs. That was my problem. One of her sisters is a chronic drug user, and she abhors the behavior. Now, as then, her thing was to go to some karaoke dive bar where she could sing.

As for Vegas, she’s not a big fan. She moved out there because her ex-husband was from the area, and he talked her into it. She’s frequently emphasized that there are normal suburbs there, so I don’t think she’s into the crazy nightlife that most people associate with the town (although she was talking to me about some of the shows she’s seen; she loved Cirque du Soleil and Blue Man Group, and wants to see Wanda Sykes do stand up next time she’s in Vegas).

Good advice, but not something I’m too worried about. I have no intentions of moving anywhere for the next 3 years or so, and I don’t have any particular interest in Vegas. If this insane romantic idea is going to go anywhere, it’s going take a while, and it isn’t going to involve me moving. As a lawyer, my work opportunities are limited by where I’m licensed to practice law. While it is certainly possible to get licensed in another state, it does involve a lot more than merely packing up, moving, and finding a new job.

I take heart, though, in the example of a friend of mine. She met her current husband while both were backpacking in Thailand. At the time, she lived in London. He, in the States. Somehow, they managed a courtship across long distances (lots of frequent flier miles), and are now happily married.

So, it is not completely hopeless to pursue this (although, at this stage, I’m getting way ahead of myself).